Tuesday, January 31, 2006

*sigh*

All right... I'm in love with someone, deeply in love, almost definitely getting married. Just to establish that. He was in love with another girl before, but some crazy shit happened, which I don't need to detail here. She still loves him, and he probably still loves her, if he'd just realize it. That doesn't mean that we love each other any less.

Lately, I've been in communication with her-- we've never met, we only talk online. She seems like a nice person, and we'd probably be very good friends if only there wasn't the complication that we're in love with the same guy. And, as I have been spinelessly conditioned to give up what I have should another person want it, her laments that she doesn't hate me, only that I represent all that she could have had but lost, sort of got to me. I really didn't want her to be hurt, and I made the observation that it would be great if we could both just marry this guy and both be in love with him.

Well, he got wind of it... and he wasn't adverse to the idea. Now, he's talking it over with me, seriously. And it doesn't sound like as good an idea as it did before, to me. He admits that he loves me more than he does her, and I, though it seems selfish when I think of her, actually... don't want to share him as much as I thought I did. He's talking about the future possibility of us being swingers, and I go along with it because I do love him... but how do I renege on my promise never to be jealous?

Jeez, and all this hitting me at junior year of high school...


Anonymous
06:15:23 PM

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wuh!?

TintedFragipan said...

This is why I never say anything about what is gonna happen in the future. It never works out well, anyway. It's a dumb idea.

Anonymous said...

If he loves you more tell him you want to be his only one and he needs to leave her out of it.

I'd even say you probably shouldn't get married so early, but that's ur decision.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry? That's really all I have to say to that.
Cheers to Junior year.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else feel completely inadequate when it comes to responding to posts this serious?

Anonymous said...

1. You will never marry him.

2. Marriage is the beginning of the
end anyway.

3. You made it all up.

4. Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...

I think we at least have to give people the benefit of the doubt that they aren't making crap up for no reason. If you have to lie -anonymously- then you know you've got serious problems.

Anonymous said...

If you love him be with him.. don't worry about what his ex says.. she's not in it anymore it's only you and him..

and in reply to ^ I don't think even the most talented liar could make something that fucked up and complicated up