Wednesday, November 30, 2005

the whole anti-class rank petition thing bothers me... i under stand the viewpoint, but i definately don't agree with it

11:45:50 PM

It's the oddest thing... A girl who told me she adores me, shows all the love to the world around her, save for one person. Me. In my case, she almost acts indifferent. She never goes out of the way to acknowledge me, or call, or anything. Seems like it's all up to me. Much different from when we were just friends. I suppose it's an indirect or subconscious signal that I am different, and she really likes me. But it's hard pulling encouragement from discouragement.

09:43:11 PM

Argh. I could take the chance and tell him . . .

. . . or I could just drag it out further.

Why's it hurting me so much? It's him the one I have to shoo away.

09:34:12 PM

I worship you, follow you like a puppy, eager to please and hoping for a kind word. I watch the sun glint off your earring and your hair, the same, glittering gold, as you kiss her on the balcony. I watch, and the tears slide off my face and pool in my hand. But you never see, never have seen, never will turn around and see me there, behind you. I know it could never work, and yet every time you call, my knees go weak as the silence stretches, threatening to snap. It could never work, and yet I sill follow you. I pray that she can make you happy, that she will not tire of you. I wish you a happy life, but know that I will always be here- only a footstep behind.

08:15:00 PM

well, i've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and a half, and i love him completely. we were best friends for years before we started going out, and everything is so wonderful.
however, i met this kid in school, and he's really adorable and funny and cute, and sometimes i just have the urge to hug him or kiss him or cuddle with him, even though i know a relationship with him wouldn't work and that i'm completely happy with my current boyfriend.
i guess what i'm wondering if it's possible to love more than one person. i wonder if this is just affection/attraction or if it's... i dunno, something else.

07:46:47 PM

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

my ap english teacher is the nicest most retarded teacher ever.

11:45:51 PM

Josh? Josh who.... Damn, and who is this guy?

08:21:08 PM

i'm posting my secret because josh told me to.

here i go being emo.

im sad. i thought i could deal with just being friends but like suddenly tonight im losing my mind wondering what he's thinking. he's said some things that make me wonder if he actually does think of me in a different light but is too shy to do something about it. its tormenting me like never before.

08:19:13 PM

Monday, November 28, 2005

On the topic of Politics.

People have bled, sweat and died for slavery as well. And I don't care for it either.

However, I will bleed, sweat and die for whatever I damn well choose, and should that be a life where I recognize politics only as a necessary evil, that I will do everything to avoid on any occaision, then you have no say in that, because you can go bleed, sweat and die for whatever it is you want to, but I got mine.

11:41:57 PM

he stopped hitting me. i try to be his friend, but i still cant respect him.

10:35:01 PM

i almost want her to die so i wont have to save her anymore

08:29:28 PM

I can't tell him to knock it off.

It's so horrible, what he's doing to himself, this isolation from the present; this refusal to believe the truth; this entrapment in a wish of what could have been (but will never, ever be).

And, what's worse is, it's because of me.

I stood it for three days over the holiday, heard his whining protests, saw the half-veiled hints, tried only perfunctuorily to ward off his advances, watched as my friend was transformed from his usual zany self to the most cynical of love-distraught guys.

Because of me. I guess.

I have a strong character. I've steeled myself before and been able to walk the hardest path to tell people what I honestly needed to tell them. Once or twice, I've even found the words to say to boys that--the great teenage euphemism for one of the most inexpressible feelings imaginable--I liked them. Isn't that supposed to be the hardest thing in the world to verbalize?

It's not.

Maybe Dagny left Eddie Willers looking out across that black expanse of train track because she was too much of a wimp to tell him.

I wonder how they spent Thanksgivings at the Taggart household.

07:54:46 PM

Sunday, November 27, 2005

I have the urge to kick, in the face, people who say that they don't care about politics because its all crap and bullshit, etc. . To me politics is more important than almost everything else, the right to be interested and involved in politics is what millions of people have struggled, bled and died for.

11:30:18 PM

I have an unhealthy addiction to Tangst. I get really sad when I check the site and there are no updates.

10:44:23 PM

Saturday, November 26, 2005

So far away, and yet so close! Ten thousand words separates me from eternal glory. Ah, bittersweet November, how do I hate thee and yet love thee and still angst over thee continusously!

03:18:35 PM

Friday, November 25, 2005

i saw a certain presidential candidate in the last election sitting across the aisle from me at a basketball game tonight, and it was all i could do to keep myself from walking up and saying "i don't support a single thing you stand for." kicking him in the shin, and returning to my seat.

i'm sure all of you know who this is now. fine by me, i just REALLY don't like this guy. and not even entirely for his political views. he seems to have a faulty character.

11:37:13 PM

Am I starting to like her again?

I sort of liked her last year when I was going through this weird cycle of liking one person after another in a sad attempt to get a girlfriend.
Then she found out, and we had the "we're just friends" conversation, and then we became better friends than we had been.
Now we're hanging out and talking more than we ever had before, and maybe I'm liking her again, but does she still think we're just friends.

Amazing how my persuit of women always ends with nothing, but the times I actually have meaningful relationships is when they fall right into my lap.

01:25:32 AM

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I don't know when it would be appropriate to call him. He says he's a night owl, and I definitely want to talk to him... I want to see him again. It's only been two days, but I've already almost forgotten his face again. I don't know if I should call.

09:15:51 PM

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

i still have a crush on my boyfriend from 3 years ago. we were together for 3 weeks and we didnt even go on a date. but i still want him.

05:08:53 PM

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I definitely have a crush on him--it's been like that on and off for a year. Like, sexually and otherwise. But now that we are friends, I realize that he is so much like me. It's almost like I have a crush on myself. That's weird, right?

06:16:21 PM

Monday, November 21, 2005

(am I doing this right? Post as a comment here?)

What can I do? It's not like I try to be better, I just... I just am, and I hate to admit it. I get the homework done, I get the lessons, I somehow manage to pull pretty good essays out of somewhere provided I have a lot of caffiene availible. Why can't he? Why should he make me feel guilty for succeeding and making him look bad by comparison? Wish I could just not care... but he's my brother. How can I not?

10:03:00 PM

I never know how forward to be. Guys are just too confusing sometimes.

03:10:01 PM

Sunday, November 20, 2005

I've got an insatiable need of sex. (duh.) And the girl that I'm totally for isn't something at all about physical attraction outside of how aesthetically pleasing her form is, so what on earth do I shoot for?

11:35:13 PM

the ball is in their court. some days they seem to like me too, some days they dont. i wish they'd make up their mind.

yes, i know that sounds so pre-teeny, but honestly, they just keep jerking me around...

08:10:41 PM

Do you know that you make my day whenever you show the slightest interest in talking to me?

You're geeky perfection, and in you I just see all my faults. I don't expect anything from you. I wish you'd return my feelings for you, but I want you to be happy. And I guess I wouldn't bring you that happiness, even though I adore you.

01:49:16 AM

Saturday, November 19, 2005

but like i was going to say, guys, do us all a favor and dont take up space commenting on secrets saying "yeah that sucks" or "i've had that happen, it sucks." if you've got something good or constructive to say, do it, but dont just say "that sucks." that is no consolation to the poster.

ticked off.
11:26:14 PM

you are a stupid face, person who just posted.

11:24:43 PM

I'm going to get majorly attacked for this... and I know "this is what the blog is for". All the expression of "angst". You guys know what angst is, right? It's exaggerated feelings... being angsty = making too much out of nothing. It's good to express yourself... but damn guys, have some backbone and do it for real. Talking about it is like running away. Yeah, I know I'm posting here along with everybody else, but how else can I talk to all of the anonymous "Tangsters"?

11:21:50 PM

Friday, November 18, 2005

I guess I've never been in love before, because society says that I should be feeling suddenly awkward and tongue-tied when we're hanging out together, but I've never felt so happy and at ease with anyone the way I am around him. So what exactly is that?

PS: I'm especially confused because when we're walking together in comfortable silence, I wonder what would happen if I just kissed him...or said something...because that's pretty much what I'd do if we weren't such close friends.

10:45:51 PM

Me and a friend talked about how cool tangst is for about ten minutes in 8th period today, and now I can't help but wonder who everybody is. I wish we could talk this freely to each other instead of through a website.

03:21:01 PM

Thursday, November 17, 2005

i almost kissed him today. i wish i did.

04:25:44 PM

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Has anyone ever though about the fact that kissing is kind of wierd?

I mean, hand jobs, oral, sex, they all involve the sexual organs and that makes sense why it would be fun, but is kissing simply society's portrayal of it that links it so closely with sex that it's a turn on?

'Cause I mean seriously, think about exactly what's going on, it's kind of gross really.

And think about eskimos who rub noses to "kiss" is that the same thing all because of society?

I figured I'd put a sort of sex related topic on this site that's not really an angsty thing..hmm..maybe it's not going with the whole theme.

06:46:07 PM

today i was looking around in class wondering if the person next to me posted the last post. try it sometime. its weird.

06:01:29 PM

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I was so convinced that I wanted a break, so that I could fool around and have a bit of fun.

But after talking to him and bursting into tears, I realize I really just want to let him in and show him how much I care. He means everything to me, and I don't want to run away anymore.

01:38:54 AM

Monday, November 14, 2005

What do I think you? I think you rock! Thanks for recommending me on BE to that person looking to promote their blog :-)

PS: I can help give you a boost with what you are doing here. Neat idea. Feel free to submit your blog :-)

teh blogfather
09:24:57 PM

I have this incredible guilt of having the advantage of being born to an educated upper middle class family in the most affluent country in the world. I feel that if i don't make the best use of the advantages that have been dealt to me, i will be the worst kind of failure.

08:32:44 PM

It hurts so much to be near him, but he makes me smile and I love laughing through the tears.

06:13:45 PM

i love boys.

love struck
03:43:30 PM

whos the tangst creator?

03:19:11 PM

I've had a crush on the tangst creator (see, no names!) since ninth grade.

I'm a girl. ;)

12:52:52 AM

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I can't cry. I've tried.

Sometimes I think things would be so much easier if I could let it all out, but I can't.

08:55:27 PM

I'm so confused, because I never know what it means when I'm "**** favorite" or just the best or whatever, so wtf? is it any special at all?

7:30:16 PM

i've gotten to the point where i'm so mad at my parents for never being satisfied with me that i think i'm TRYING to do badly at everything to spite them. show them i don't care what they think anymore.

i dont care what they think, but i do care what my friends think, and i do care about my future.

how do i make it stop?

07:11:24 PM

im a bitch to most people. im sorry.

06:54:15 PM

i have a best friend who treats me like a friend for the first time. ever.

all my other best friends (all two of them) used me, multiple times.

04:30:37 PM

I really hate *** and her damn attitude. She really doesn't consider anyone else's schedules when she makes plans. We're supposed to be a group for godsakes.

1:31:30 PM

I like her, but my life is school (like all other 'loe juniors), so our friendship must suffice.

12:14:45 AM

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I don't know who I am, where I'm going, or why it matters.

11:33:33 PM

I don't know whats going on~

10:34:49 PM

I had more real friends when I was ugly. Now people only like me for who I am on the outside.

04:25:17 PM

I pride myself on my blowjob technique.

12:20:02 AM

Friday, November 11, 2005

Although I'm in a great relationship, I have a huge crush on a friend who I don't know very well.

I'd love to get to know him better because we have so much in common, even though I know that a relationship would never work, nor would I ever pursue one. I just don't know how to approach him without seeming sleazy.

08:40:07 PM

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

i really REALLY like him, but my parents probably wont let me date him.

10:16:53 PM

oblivious or not interested?

09:17:15 PM

Monday, November 07, 2005


So, for the people who posted poems, can I submit them to ELO for Stone Soup? Because Chappell would need to know who you are, but they can still be published anonymously. E-mail me to let me know. Please, cause a friend of mine would be really grateful. So would I.

And yes, I'm submitting the one I wrote.

I'm afraid I'm leading him on because of the awesome sex.

5:37:14 PM

Sunday, November 06, 2005

okay in a more serious tone, I'm feeling terribly angsty in my position as a human being and the whole should I try and make something work when I really want something else sort of thing. Because I'm all for this _________
but I'm so much for this other more than them so I dont know whether I should pursue what I can or if I should try for what it is that I really do want.

09:44:52 PM

Classical music... I'm Ron Burgundy?

09:42:24 PM

i had wild dreams about him last night.


Saturday, November 05, 2005

I love you, but please, just back off.

11:51:13 PM

Thursday, November 03, 2005

i am addicted to facebook.

8:33:12 PM

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

There's a serious issue with this system. I'm always finding how these work within my social knowledge, which is terribly depressing in that I know I'm ego-tripping, and that it's just rather depressing junk in general.

05:22:16 PM

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Does she think there's more to it than friendship? Is there more than friendship? Was there ever more than a laugh and a joy?

If not, is all lost?

Why can't I ever understand the simple things when they involve me?

10:37:01 PM

he confuses me so damned much. why cant he be consistant in his actions. itd be so much easier to deal with things if he just consistantly ignored me. i hate getting sucked back in.

10:02:22 PM

always the brides maid and never the bride...

i see all my friends hook up and talk about their angsty love life but i feel like that person who is just the friend. so far it hasn't paid off.

whats wrong about me?

05:44:57 PM