Saturday, December 31, 2005

I almost told him I'm in love with him. The only thing that stopped me was knowing he doesn't love me back.

04:34:36 PM

Friday, December 30, 2005

I've become a good enough actress that I can fool everyone with a smile and a laugh, even when my heart is breaking.

09:24:41 PM

how is it that I can get so depressed watching Scrubs?

07:37:45 PM

I think that people who write crappy formulaic fantasy novels in their spare time should be shot.

12:41:14 PM

Thursday, December 29, 2005

George Lucas wrote my love story.

04:16:45 PM

I don't know how to help him... he's in a bad place, and it's very real, but what do I know of his world? I'm seventeen and I still live under my parents' roof, how can I possibly understand?

And this just makes me think all the more, that when all of you leave your cushy lives of financial stability with your families, you might not like that fucking bitch Ayn Rand so much anymore.

12:24:41 PM

I don't brush my teeth twice a day.
In fact, I don't brush at all.
Yet I still don't have cavities and don't/won't need braces.

01:17:52 AM

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Whatever I do, [our mentor] likes her better than she likes me. It's sort of disheartening, but I keep trying. I guess I still hope I can do something to change it.

10:21:22 PM

Monday, December 26, 2005

As much as I tell him that I really did love him, sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I'd never met him. I wonder if I'd be happier, or if I'd be with somebody else. Half of our relationship, I felt like he wasn't good enough.

11:21:04 PM

If I had another last chance, and we met again for the first time; I would listen to your heart. I would start back at the start. There are things I'd like to say. So many things I'd like to change.

10:55:36 PM

whats so confusing about a christmas post? i dont get it.

10:19:58 PM

Sunday, December 25, 2005

[Dagny] clasped the metal bracelet on her wrist. She liked the feel of the weight against her skin. Inexplicably, she felt a touch of feminine vanity, the kind she had never experienced before: the desire to be seen wearing this particular ornament.

Rand didn't say, later, how many times she stopped her work to look and marvel at it, or try it on again, against her nice sweater, against her cotton top, against the stretched edge of her baggy t-shirt she wore with her pajamas. She didn't say exactly how it felt, nestled warm against her skin, engulfed in the heat that, surprisingly enough, came from her own cold body (that her fingertips, even in summer, were always silly bits of ice). She didn't mention how strange it looked, atop the papers and stacks of crumpled music on Dagny's dresser, how incongruous with the reality that was not a dream, could not be a dream, would not ever stretch so far into reality that the last trace of doubt that it was, in fact, a fantasy would disappear.

She probably didn't mention this because it would have ended up longer than the Galt speech.

Also, I bet the acting vice president of the Taggart Transcontinental Railroad had cooler pajamas.

09:19:32 PM

Should I tell him I like him? How should I tell him?
Merry Christmas. If you're not Christian...Merry fucking Christmas.

fed up with this bullshit
01:00:25 AM

Saturday, December 24, 2005

I know it's Christmas Eve, and I should have the warm fuzzies, loving my fellow human beings, etc.

But right now, I really wish people would leave me alone. Because really, who wants to think about school and academics tonight?

08:49:40 PM

Big boys don't cry...

Now I understand the Middle East problem.

07:02:42 PM

Friday, December 23, 2005

I gave you my music,
I made your song take flight.
And now, how you've repaid me,
Denied me, and betrayed me.

He was bound to love you,
when first he heard you sing...

That song perfectly describes my situation. I took my dearest friend, lifted her from her depression, made her stop cutting.

Now she's turned on me and left me alone in my own darkness.

03:49:34 PM

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I'd marry him this instant if he'd ask me. Coz he's the closest to perfection that i've found in a guy. I love him and don't wanna live without him.

08:07:36 PM

Just being around him makes me happy.

06:57:56 PM

I finally know for sure that I'm in love with him, but how do I tell him that? I don't know if he's still in love with me, or if he's moved on. He might even be dating someone right now but I'm too scared to ask. Either answer would put me even more on edge.

We already tried the dating thing and it's my fault we failed. I kept thinking of what if questions. The most recurring being "Can we still be friends if this doesn't work?" He's such a pivotal part of my life. I really can't picture my life without him in it. I pushed him away to keep him close. Wow, that's so messed up sounding.

Why do I always let my fear keep me from being completely happy?

06:41:40 PM

In the past day, I have told serious, boldfaced lies to two teachers and one friend. I hate who I've become.

06:39:54 PM

Winter break begins later today.

Tis the season for holiday giving,
But not the friendly kind.

A week before lax dormant reprose,
The work piles on, coming in droves.


Why am I awake and working at 3:30am?

Oh right, its Enloe.

How silly of me.

03:32:12 AM

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I hate it when people claim they hate the Harry Potter books. I'm not the kind of fanatic who dresses up and watches the movies over and over, but I do think that they are good books and you should at least read them before deciding that you are and individual and therefore will not like them. You probably couldn't concentrate, anyway.

11:50:57 PM

Nostalgia Wears Red with a Black Belt

I am six.
But first I am a Power Ranger.
My friends and I protect imaginary lands from
Imaginary things.

I am six.
But first I am watching Aladdin.
I see with wild-wind eyes the tale of
Bravery and beauty.

I am six.
But first I am a LEGO architect
Constructing illustrious castles which
Are reserved for long dead kings

I am six.
But first I am a student
School is out, let summer sound, for I am
Forever free from duty

I am seventeen.
But first I am alive
And finally I understand that
Imaginary things
Bravery and beauty
Are reserved for long dead kings
Forever free from duty.

11:39:41 PM

Well, I told him that I liked him.
Lot of good that will do me.
Why are guys so ridiculous?

09:27:11 PM

I hate people who complain about how little time or how much work they have.

If you have time or energy to complain, you have enough time!!!

09:12:34 PM

It sucks when you start wanting to go out with someone and then they start going out with someone else.

Then it sucks worse when it happens again

06:16:11 PM

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

So I've got work to do like whoa, and I don't have any time to even try for you, now that's pretty bad.

11:14:42 PM

I like you so much it drives me crazy. You like her--SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. When will you see me as more than a friend?

10:58:59 PM

The reason I can't like you is because you're ugly. I wish to God I was kidding, but I'm not. You're a wonderful person, don't ever doubt that. I just can't make myself overlook your obvious lack of um... attractiveness and concentrate on who you are under that. I'm sorry. I hate myself for this.

04:01:29 PM

Monday, December 19, 2005

Here are some words


Would her eye blink,
The sound would be a whisper to her frenzied footsteps
So black a blanket she wraps ‘round her ancient Mother
The waves (both shoes and shore) hurl her masochistic tears toward heaven.
And Grendel’s teeth do gnash in kind

Second hand smoke echoes second hand shine
Bidding apocalyptic turpentine
And that same fire, that brilliance, that ire
Blinds the sky with blood of dawn
And Hyperion’s gaze so fierce flares on

Accelerated ambition, shadowless and brave
Mature both in lens and length
A whisper to the grave
This is the din in your mouth
And this is the double helix spiraling towards the sky

11:31:49 PM

If you love Tangst, post this link in your profile:

<a href="">I'm feeling tangsty</a>

Do it. Now. :-)

09:03:57 PM

I’m tired of feeling like I’m fucking invisible to you. But when I leave, when I turn the corner and I hear the silence in front of me, it’s one of the most relieving things in the world.

08:53:45 PM

I went into the woods and I asked God what I should do about him, and God told me to see this relationship through.

...funny, that God would tell me to fall in love with a pagan...

05:57:41 PM

Gosh... talk about the holiday season cheering everybody up.

By the way, I hate having to be so PC all the time. It's a disease.

On that note, Merry Christmas everyone.

04:14:38 PM

Sunday, December 18, 2005

I love love, and I love loving love.

I suggest all those who can love, love.

I suggest all those who can love loving, love.

And I suggest all those who arent in love to start breathing again, for comatose is only cute in the soap operas.

11:54:48 PM

I think I love him and I think he loves me. Why am I not sure? Why do I feel there might be someone else there for me, if at the same time I know he might be the one?

He's my best guy friend and also my boyfriend. Am I with him because I like him or because I've just grown used to him?

He has talked about marriage and babies (not for now) but how do I know for sure he's the one? I only ever have these doubts when I'm far from him... when I'm next to him I just feel so free... away from all my problems... with someone I like and I know likes me back...

Someone once told me you love someone if you'd give your life for theirs. But I don't think I would. How do I know if I love him??

10:52:42 PM

I celebrate this text box.

10:21:58 PM

Its funny how angst here is no longer chaotic, but versed and rhymed into coherant glory.

09:17:17 PM

At the peak of my pendulum I
felt the flash in your soft, indefinite
colored hair. And your lips burned
at the corners (I could tell) where
the spittle had leaked out of your con-
temptuous smile and froze.

The phoenix left your throat as you
yawned wide your facial chasm
and streaked into space like quick
fire. For a moment I hung at the bottom—
inertia is not—and saw the meaning of
your burning song in my ear, the nuance
of your vocal penetration.

Wet sand on my feet, friction melting
me like glass and then I stopped and stood
under the blue fluorescents and glanced at
you: male form in relief against the green-red
diamond field. I said “let’s get some nachos” and
you laughed, not understanding. You paid for them.

07:58:08 PM

Saturday, December 17, 2005

I am the happiest that I've ever been in my entire life. I think I've found the man I want to marry. We love each other. My family doesn't hate me. I didn't break curfew tonight. I'm getting good grades and the future is so exciting that I just can't wait.

Because of all this, I am guilty. I feel bad that my life is this perfect when others' lives are not. Perfect. Seriously, this is all perfect. This is all Beautiful.

11:36:57 PM

I'm too happy to complain.

Sometimes I wish I had dark secrets to air here.

But right now, definitely not.

10:08:30 PM

I’d Sooner Date Your Shadow

If only Fate would commit
To what irony would see fit,
But then you’d be smothered by your own wasted breath.
So in honor of your perfection,
And to prevent a resurrection,
I’d love to mark your time of death.

You would want that right?
For me to pay attention to details?

You were always right.
You were always right.
You were always right.
You were always rightfully ignored by all of your imaginary friends
Despite your desperate attempts to impress them.

I will support you.
I’ll be the couch you’re laying down on
When the psychologists announce that
You’re clinically insane.

I will heal you
I’ll be the surgeon for your heart transplant
Because studies show that black holes
Fail to give adequate circulation
Fear not. As always,
The bill’s on me.

I’d give you the best care.
I’d give you the best care.
I’d give you the best care.
I’d give you the best charismatically aggressive anthem that my vocal chords ever would have dared to recite.
With a tone that could reach your elegant ears
and words that would ignite the airwaves ferrying them.
And your eyes will see truth.

You have the most beautiful eyes.
You have the most colorful eyes.
You have the most sobering eyes.
You have the most sadistic isolating stare that would cause God Himself to cry…
Out of self-pity

We are both train wrecks
But I will stop dead on my tracks
And in a shower of sparks and deafening din
I will shout to the world of mice and men
“I am no Jesus”
And I will proclaim to the cities
“I am no Caesar”
And I will tell to the people
“I am no James Dean”
And I will whisper to myself, most quietly of all:
“I am no better than you”

02:52:12 PM

She loves him. She sees him and smiles at him everyday. She sees him at school and after school, sometimes even after after school. He most likely returns her feelings. He doesn't know that she goes home every night and lives a different life. She goes home to depression and fear. He doesn't know about this, but I do. I know that she throws up after meals on occassion, though she tries hard to stop. I know that she thinks she's ugly and stupid. I know how to love her. He doesn't. I appreciate her company, as does he, but he wastes it. I think she's beautiful in every sense of the word. He just thinks she's pretty.

She doesn't even know who I am, but I know everything about her.

12:55:46 PM

I quite honestly cannot just deal with things anymore.

01:48:38 AM

I'm such a dork. Instead of writing my position statement for the MUN thing tomorrow, I'm archiving Tangst. Oh well.

If you didn't notice, I made an e-mail specifically for tangst-related things: Everything from this site goes there now. Hooray.

Friday, December 16, 2005

i just masturbated

06:16:15 PM

Does anyone else ever imagine that those "I wish I could have him/her" posts are about you?

04:06:39 PM

Confession: Multitasking is a very important skill when balancing Webassign and cybersex, and I'm not a very good multitasker.

12:05:11 AM

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Im tired of studying and restudying a dead language that I'll never use or care about.

11:09:10 PM

i'm not sure i even like him anymore.

damn, what bad timing.

10:29:30 PM

Owed to Love

Oh Love,
Rear not your hoary head.
Wander not with wretched rags
From plagued paupers bought.

How faithful are you, Love,
To leap and jump from
Couples to couplets,
Never staying longer than a last breath.

Were you so noble Love?
Selling your soul to
Patrons and patriots
Under the eyes of eagle, souls, and sun.

Where is your saga now, Love?
You launched a thousand ships,
Drove souls to drink poison
And propelled odysseys

Men once died for you, Love.
Now they but spit and grind roses in your name.
Have you sunk so low as Hell,
To do all but obsess o’er Heaven’s gate?


08:48:53 PM

I want out.

07:36:45 PM

Ever watch the rain?

06:44:43 PM

Ugh, why does she have to live in Florida.

06:40:38 PM

why do you insist on hating someone that you like?

06:01:50 PM

Dear you,
I want you to stay away from me, or at least to stop trying to get ever closer. I know what you're up to and I don't like it. Stop your advances right now.I'll only hurt you for the good of our relationship. I don't understand what I'm doing, so there is no way that you possibly could. I've known you for what seems like forever. We're the best of friends, or...we were. Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!!! I hate myself for this. What happened to buddy-buddys? What happened to just friends? You've taken over my mind. I dread seeing you. I rip you apart and find small things about you that I hate and I magnify them to keep me from loving you, but I don't think I can stop it. I know I'll just end up falling in love with you in the long run- we're perfect for eachother, but for right now leave me the hell alone! I want to like other people! NOT YOU. NOT NOW.

Sincerely, Me

What do I do?

05:56:55 PM

I swear, one of my brother's friends is hitting on me.

He's nice and fun to talk to, but he's 3 years older than me, and I am not sure how to tell him that I am not really interested in a relationship right now?

05:50:53 PM

I feel it necessary to post because of the past slowness.
I think I'm leading someone on. We talk a lot, and we get along really well, but it's only a friendship. I hope this person doesn't think it's something more.
If he/she do I make my intentions clear?

05:30:35 PM

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

What is Life but a Perception of Action?

I wake up every morning realizing that I am living a lie. I hide my true self, my true feelings, from all but a few of the people in my life. There was a time when I became someone I wasn't in order to impress people I wanted to accept me. The people passed, and my friendships are no longer shallow, as once they were. But the self-created image has remained, building itself until I feel I am living two lives.

I have created around myself a tough-guy, devil-may-care persona, the person everybody knows me as.

Most who know me would never guess my true self, an introspective, quiet and reserved person fashioned in the style of hopeless romanticism. A fan of soft classical music and watching the stars on a clear winter night. Nobody knows me for who I truly am, and it is my fault.

The worst part is I can't let anyone know. Being burned in the past has made me reluctant to open up at all. If I could have the opportunity to change one thing in my life, it would be my sixth-grade decision, a new kid in a strange and unfamiliar school, to try and become something I wasn't. I often wonder what my life, friends, and relationships would be like today had I not made that choice.

Ok, wow that was a really long post. Think I'll take a break now.

Has it ever occured to you all that this blog could consist of 4 or 5 people (plus the admin board) who just like to argue with themselves? I know I have done that once or twice.

12:17:08 AM

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I may have just sent her to her death... so why don't I feel guilty?

10:12:06 PM

Just a Random Query

Are any of the people that post on this site from a school other than enloe? sorry for being nosy, but i really would like to know. so speak up, anonymously of course.

PS...I don't really want to know what school you do go to, unless you want to post it. just whether or not there are any non-enloe posters.

thanx everybody

Why do I always fall for the wrong guys? I mean, he is so beautiful and considerate and nice, but (a) he has a girlfriend and (b) he treats me like the little sister of his best friend that I am.

And here's my best friend: her crush talks to her and treats her like he really enjoys listening to her opinions, even if said opinions are a bit wacko at times. He stares at her too, like he can't figure her out, and wants to know what she's really like. And he is quite handsome, in that dark and liquid-eyed way.

Damn. There must be something wrong with me.

06:54:07 PM

Monday, December 12, 2005

dealing with the ex will be interesting. we've already had a confrontation...and we just began...

10:16:52 PM


Life is so underrated.

I just felt I'd throw that one out there.

Hurray for most things!

Cynisism...It never fails to Satisfy.

09:54:13 PM

She and I used to be decent enough friends but I really resent her now. She has no idea.

I just want to yell at her "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE SO DAMN SPECIAL?!?!"

Sometimes, I really really really just want to smack her.

09:46:55 PM

im growing away from this site because its getting so many posts, which i find quite weird. but at the same time, it makes complete sense.

08:30:49 PM

Sick sick sick sick sick sick sick.

Being sick sucks.

05:09:38 PM

Oh and by the way, Heather.

Is there a way for me to put this blog on my dashboard so that I can post directly to it?

04:45:56 PM

I'm glad I found this site, because I am not a person that willingly shares personal feelings with others. Plenty of people confide in me and come to me for advice, but I tend to hold my own counsel. Hopefully this site will give me a place of release.

04:42:24 PM

My greatest fear in life is that one day I'll regret every missed opportunity I was too afraid to take a chance on.

04:35:15 PM

Sunday, December 11, 2005

My english teacher got a stiffie talking to me last year.

Thing is, he's really hot. (and the same hight as me!) I would have gladly taken it further if it weren't illegal, etc.

10:53:04 PM

I sleep naked.

-not in a perverted way... I just like it cause it's so much more comfertable. My mom would freak if she found out.

10:39:02 PM

I really hate that I've fallen in love with him now. It's 4 months too late. And I know he's moved on. My life is just one giant mess of missed opportunities.

09:50:42 PM

Is paranoia based on reality?

Because I have a constant and never waning fear that everyone I talk to thinks I'm a one track asshole.

And I think I know what the post 4 or 5(?) post before mine was about, but I'll ask later

08:17:22 PM

I use drugs!

08:05:50 PM

i have no self-control. i give in way to easily. i feel like im a whore. i think my two best friends think i am a whore.

04:50:55 PM

I might be a telepath. I might be insane. I might be crazy or loosing it. Uncertanty is my bread and the butter is my doubt.

All things are aroudn me like circling vultures and my mind is a morsel they wait for, the fight to keep waoiting making irt more tasty.

04:17:57 PM

basically, i'm willing to give sexual favors to any guy who asks me.

04:04:04 PM

Saturday, December 10, 2005

She and I have become good friends over the last year. I keep thinking about whether its worth pursuing that friendship to a different level.

Then I realize I have hardly got time for a "life" around the deluge of work that consumes me.

And yet, here I sit, taking time to angst on Tangst.

What's a guy to do?

08:37:58 PM

I'm really getting tired of everyone yelling at everyone else. I've left the comments enabled on all the posts to generate discussion, for everyone to support each other, not attack everyone else and leave comments that degrade the value of the site. Comments like "You're a sick fuck" don't do anything except make people alienated. If you actually think that, fine, I can't stop you. I'm not even going to delete your comment.

I don't think we should all be hippie, love everyone, the world is your friend types, but the comments could be a bit less harsh. Not nice, necessarily, not even supportive. Just less harsh.

One last thing - don't post as the original poster unless you are. That completely violates the inherent trust involved in the site.

So yes, continue to visit, leaving your thoughts, etc. Just know that I really hate intervening in the workings of the site. I don't like censoring your comments, but as you've seen, I will if I have to. The fact that I feel like I have to write this post makes me sad. Don't make me do it again.

Friday, December 09, 2005

I really want to bang Ms *****. I just imagine getting her alone in the teachers lounge. MMM!

08:34:22 PM

Okay, here's my rant, which is fair because of its nature.

The people who post comments on other people's threads, on the main site, etc, saying stuff like "Um, there are people posting things not secrets" need to get a grip.

This is, for most purposes, a public forum, only where everyone is anonymous. Nothing more, nothing less. If I've never said "I like the color red" to anyone, why, then that's my secret and I can post it in the spirit of the site. If I have said it, you won't know! Because it's anonymous!

It seems to me like people resort to that argument when they're reading something that's uninteresting to them, that they're bored with, or that makes them upset. Fine, great, whatever. But don't accuse people of breaking the rules, just because you don't like what they have to say. It's whiny and obnoxious; no one makes you read any of the posts on here.

Of course, I can't tell you not to post those things. That would be hypocritical. I just thought it was fair to let you know that you're idiots, whether I can tell who you are or not.

06:35:58 PM

I love you so much. All I want to do is confess to you and live happily ever after.

But I know that will never happen. I know that telling you what I really feel will destroy us both, and everything we've worked for.

I tried so hard to be who I am not. I spent years building my reputation. If I were to tell you, all of that could be destroyed in the space of three words.

It would be worse for you, I know. It would break her heart, and she would ruin me, my family, and my friends. But I wish I could tell you.

I'm so sorry.

Good things come to those who wait
06:29:36 PM

I'm never ever ever ever ever going to be thin enough for myself. I starved myself last year and didn't learn a single lesson.

The worst part is that I'm okay with it.

04:48:07 PM

Thursday, December 08, 2005

heather, correct me if i'm wrong, but...

i was under the impression that this site was like postsecret, where you simply post your secrets as a way to get it out.

but recently it's turned into "i hate school." "i hate being a virgin." etc.

those aren't secrets. that's complaining.

how about we go back to what it's supposed to be? i liked being able to tell my secrets to someone without being judged as a person.

11:17:29 PM

heather i don't understand how to post my own. help me if you could

10:40:40 PM

I don't understand you pro-choice people.

I mean, you're killing babies...

oh yeah, and please don't bring up the rape argument, something like .01 abortions are conducted because of that.

07:25:36 PM

I miss when I was ugly and strange. Back then the people who said they cared about me actually meant it. Back then I had actual friends instead of casual aquaintances, and my relationships with guy friends were never awkward. I don't want to be another ugly-duckling-turned-something-else. I don't want to be easily accepted like I am now.
I miss when people didn't like me.

06:09:46 PM

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Maybe it was the other recent post that made me think of this, but I am really, really afraid of sex. The more I read and see and hear, the more it seems like I will inevitably end up A)rushing into sex too fast and against my will to please someone else or B) living a cold frigid life and becoming a cloistered nun. I used to think that option B really wouldn't be too bad... but I really like him now... I don't want to lose him just because I can't give him what he wants.

Those stupid sex ed videos-- they make saying no look so easy.

10:22:55 PM

I still don't know what to get him for Christmas. Maybe this isn't angst, just a pitiful plea.

What do you get a boyfriend for Christmas?

09:48:33 PM

I'm a sex deprived teenage boy.

06:37:49 PM

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

***** Fucking ***** is a senile bitch.

That's all I have to say.

10:29:29 PM

I may not know how to spell voyeur, but I am one. And it's getting harder to respectfully turn away when friends start kissing at the bus loop or on the breezeway.

06:24:23 PM

why does he have to like the girl i can't stand?

03:59:48 PM

Monday, December 05, 2005

OMFG Tangst is Down!!! My life is over!!!

10:13:15 PM

I think that many of you will take comfort in the fact that I will not be posting anymore.

05:15:13 PM

If it's really important, I always put it off. I'm gettin' real good at it.

04:42:25 PM

I'm not who my parents think I am. I'm not right. I may have an extraordinairly high IQ, but I'm broken. I wish they could see that. I try so hard to fit in, to make them proud, to uphold our family pride, but I am the cracked pillar in the temple. Why don't they see? I need help. Help, before the stone crumbles, bringing everything down with it...

01:17:44 AM

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I think my history teacher is the hottest redneck ever.

11:23:44 PM

when did this site turn in to bitch central? any time anyone posts anything, granted some of them are silly emo stuff, they get shot down immediately. i mean i know who the main person doing it is...but he can't be the only one. this is a place where our secrets are shared and accepted...

10:38:59 PM

I love anonymity. So far, I've argued three different viewpoints in the class rank thread, and nobody's the wiser

10:20:43 PM

im sorry for the pain ive caused you. i know youre more hurt than ever before.
im sorry for getting your hopes up. i thought it would work out too.
im sorry for the wasted time. so much to do, so little time.
im sorry that i have to let you go.
im sorry.

09:21:36 PM

WHY oh WHY do all my teachers have to have like 8 things due every day this week.

07:12:10 PM

Whoever was posting earlier got his or her wish. The one who was like "I want dramatic emo angst"

06:44:37 PM

Sometimes, I feel like grinding my teeth and stomping like a toddler. I want a boyfriend! I want to have someone who calls me all the time and annoys me on my cell phone. I want someone who I can revolve my plans around. I just cuddle in his arms and sweetly kiss him and feel his breath against my neck. I want to have endless conversations with him about absolutely nothing. I want so much and I give and give and have COMPROMISED so much in my romantic life, only to amount to nothing sustainable that I can think of.

I hate to leave it like this, but...sigh...good things come to those who wait. No one ever said how hard the wait actually is.

04:59:23 PM

Sometimes I think I'm insane. Just last week, I sat in class and and I saw a hand on my desk. It was moving, grabbing my pencil. I wanted to scream and then I realised that it was my hand. I never know what's real anymore. I'm broken inside, and I hold up a mask of paper to stop the other's from seeing the real me. I want to be normal, but I'm broken, imperfect, damaged. I'm terrified of what they'll say when I can't hold up the mask any longer.

03:32:44 PM

Sometimes, when you open your mouth, I want to kill you. I hate you and everything you stand for and everyone who follows you. And when you talk, I know that you're right and that you'd beat me to the ground in an argument of logic, and that just makes me want to kill you more. I bet you hate me too sometimes. But we'll never tell each other that.

12:19:37 PM

And I stomp stomp stomp in my big red boots. And I go to my room and I cry cry cry because my mom mom mom told me me me that I can't can't can't go stomp stomp stomp in my big red boots. So I'll cry cry cry in my big big big, red red red, boots boots boots until I can stomp stomp stomp all day long in big big puddles in my big red boots.

09:59:37 AM

Since this is all "Teen Angst" and everything, I find myself wondering why nobody posts saying "I'm going to kill myself". Instead, we get things like "Wah, she/he didn't call me. Boo hoo hoo. Wah wah wah. Cry cry cry." I'm not saying people should want to kill themselves... but if we're going for the whole.. emo angsty thing... well...

09:57:25 AM

Friday, December 02, 2005

He never called me back.

07:04:03 PM

Now we turn on the tv
But it’s so embarrassing
To see all the little people
I don’t know what they mean
And it was magic at first
When they spoke without sound
But now this world is gonna hurt
You better turn that thing down
Turn it around.

Well it wasn’t me says the boy with the gun
Sure I pulled the trigger but it needed to be done
because life’s been killing me ever since it begun
You can’t blame me cause I’m too young.

You can’t blame me sure the killer was my son
But I didn’t teach him to pull the trigger of the gun
It’s the killin on this tv screen
You can’t blame me it’s those images he sees

You can’t blame says the media man
Well I wasn’t the one who came up with the plan
No I just point my camera at what the people wanna see
Man it’s a two way mirror and you can’t blame me

You can’t blame me says the singer of the song
Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on
It’s only entertainment, and as anyone can see
The smoke machines are making man you can’t fool me

It was you it was me
It was everyman
We’ve all got blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell then hell is what we’ll have

Now we’ll turn on the tv, but it’s so embarrassing
To see all the other people
Don’t even know what they mean
And it was magic at first
But let everyone down
And now this world is gonna hurt
You gotta turn it around.
Turn it around.

05:41:47 PM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I think someone just suggested having sex with me. In a semi-serious manner.

...that's a new one.

09:44:26 PM

And all at once it hits me: My life has become a boring pop song and everyone is singing along.

06:26:44 PM

I've never understood the touchy-feely Ya-Ya Sisterhood-type lovey teary lifelong friendships that females create between each other, and I don't want to share this kind of relationship with anyone, especially not with her, no matter how much I mean to her or how much she loves me or how much like a sister I am to her. The feeling is not mutual.

But if I tell her that, she will probably kill herself.

04:53:08 PM

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

the whole anti-class rank petition thing bothers me... i under stand the viewpoint, but i definately don't agree with it

11:45:50 PM

It's the oddest thing... A girl who told me she adores me, shows all the love to the world around her, save for one person. Me. In my case, she almost acts indifferent. She never goes out of the way to acknowledge me, or call, or anything. Seems like it's all up to me. Much different from when we were just friends. I suppose it's an indirect or subconscious signal that I am different, and she really likes me. But it's hard pulling encouragement from discouragement.

09:43:11 PM

Argh. I could take the chance and tell him . . .

. . . or I could just drag it out further.

Why's it hurting me so much? It's him the one I have to shoo away.

09:34:12 PM

I worship you, follow you like a puppy, eager to please and hoping for a kind word. I watch the sun glint off your earring and your hair, the same, glittering gold, as you kiss her on the balcony. I watch, and the tears slide off my face and pool in my hand. But you never see, never have seen, never will turn around and see me there, behind you. I know it could never work, and yet every time you call, my knees go weak as the silence stretches, threatening to snap. It could never work, and yet I sill follow you. I pray that she can make you happy, that she will not tire of you. I wish you a happy life, but know that I will always be here- only a footstep behind.

08:15:00 PM

well, i've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and a half, and i love him completely. we were best friends for years before we started going out, and everything is so wonderful.
however, i met this kid in school, and he's really adorable and funny and cute, and sometimes i just have the urge to hug him or kiss him or cuddle with him, even though i know a relationship with him wouldn't work and that i'm completely happy with my current boyfriend.
i guess what i'm wondering if it's possible to love more than one person. i wonder if this is just affection/attraction or if it's... i dunno, something else.

07:46:47 PM

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

my ap english teacher is the nicest most retarded teacher ever.

11:45:51 PM

Josh? Josh who.... Damn, and who is this guy?

08:21:08 PM

i'm posting my secret because josh told me to.

here i go being emo.

im sad. i thought i could deal with just being friends but like suddenly tonight im losing my mind wondering what he's thinking. he's said some things that make me wonder if he actually does think of me in a different light but is too shy to do something about it. its tormenting me like never before.

08:19:13 PM

Monday, November 28, 2005

On the topic of Politics.

People have bled, sweat and died for slavery as well. And I don't care for it either.

However, I will bleed, sweat and die for whatever I damn well choose, and should that be a life where I recognize politics only as a necessary evil, that I will do everything to avoid on any occaision, then you have no say in that, because you can go bleed, sweat and die for whatever it is you want to, but I got mine.

11:41:57 PM

he stopped hitting me. i try to be his friend, but i still cant respect him.

10:35:01 PM

i almost want her to die so i wont have to save her anymore

08:29:28 PM

I can't tell him to knock it off.

It's so horrible, what he's doing to himself, this isolation from the present; this refusal to believe the truth; this entrapment in a wish of what could have been (but will never, ever be).

And, what's worse is, it's because of me.

I stood it for three days over the holiday, heard his whining protests, saw the half-veiled hints, tried only perfunctuorily to ward off his advances, watched as my friend was transformed from his usual zany self to the most cynical of love-distraught guys.

Because of me. I guess.

I have a strong character. I've steeled myself before and been able to walk the hardest path to tell people what I honestly needed to tell them. Once or twice, I've even found the words to say to boys that--the great teenage euphemism for one of the most inexpressible feelings imaginable--I liked them. Isn't that supposed to be the hardest thing in the world to verbalize?

It's not.

Maybe Dagny left Eddie Willers looking out across that black expanse of train track because she was too much of a wimp to tell him.

I wonder how they spent Thanksgivings at the Taggart household.

07:54:46 PM

Sunday, November 27, 2005

I have the urge to kick, in the face, people who say that they don't care about politics because its all crap and bullshit, etc. . To me politics is more important than almost everything else, the right to be interested and involved in politics is what millions of people have struggled, bled and died for.

11:30:18 PM

I have an unhealthy addiction to Tangst. I get really sad when I check the site and there are no updates.

10:44:23 PM

Saturday, November 26, 2005

So far away, and yet so close! Ten thousand words separates me from eternal glory. Ah, bittersweet November, how do I hate thee and yet love thee and still angst over thee continusously!

03:18:35 PM

Friday, November 25, 2005

i saw a certain presidential candidate in the last election sitting across the aisle from me at a basketball game tonight, and it was all i could do to keep myself from walking up and saying "i don't support a single thing you stand for." kicking him in the shin, and returning to my seat.

i'm sure all of you know who this is now. fine by me, i just REALLY don't like this guy. and not even entirely for his political views. he seems to have a faulty character.

11:37:13 PM

Am I starting to like her again?

I sort of liked her last year when I was going through this weird cycle of liking one person after another in a sad attempt to get a girlfriend.
Then she found out, and we had the "we're just friends" conversation, and then we became better friends than we had been.
Now we're hanging out and talking more than we ever had before, and maybe I'm liking her again, but does she still think we're just friends.

Amazing how my persuit of women always ends with nothing, but the times I actually have meaningful relationships is when they fall right into my lap.

01:25:32 AM

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I don't know when it would be appropriate to call him. He says he's a night owl, and I definitely want to talk to him... I want to see him again. It's only been two days, but I've already almost forgotten his face again. I don't know if I should call.

09:15:51 PM

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

i still have a crush on my boyfriend from 3 years ago. we were together for 3 weeks and we didnt even go on a date. but i still want him.

05:08:53 PM

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I definitely have a crush on him--it's been like that on and off for a year. Like, sexually and otherwise. But now that we are friends, I realize that he is so much like me. It's almost like I have a crush on myself. That's weird, right?

06:16:21 PM

Monday, November 21, 2005

(am I doing this right? Post as a comment here?)

What can I do? It's not like I try to be better, I just... I just am, and I hate to admit it. I get the homework done, I get the lessons, I somehow manage to pull pretty good essays out of somewhere provided I have a lot of caffiene availible. Why can't he? Why should he make me feel guilty for succeeding and making him look bad by comparison? Wish I could just not care... but he's my brother. How can I not?

10:03:00 PM

I never know how forward to be. Guys are just too confusing sometimes.

03:10:01 PM

Sunday, November 20, 2005

I've got an insatiable need of sex. (duh.) And the girl that I'm totally for isn't something at all about physical attraction outside of how aesthetically pleasing her form is, so what on earth do I shoot for?

11:35:13 PM

the ball is in their court. some days they seem to like me too, some days they dont. i wish they'd make up their mind.

yes, i know that sounds so pre-teeny, but honestly, they just keep jerking me around...

08:10:41 PM

Do you know that you make my day whenever you show the slightest interest in talking to me?

You're geeky perfection, and in you I just see all my faults. I don't expect anything from you. I wish you'd return my feelings for you, but I want you to be happy. And I guess I wouldn't bring you that happiness, even though I adore you.

01:49:16 AM

Saturday, November 19, 2005

but like i was going to say, guys, do us all a favor and dont take up space commenting on secrets saying "yeah that sucks" or "i've had that happen, it sucks." if you've got something good or constructive to say, do it, but dont just say "that sucks." that is no consolation to the poster.

ticked off.
11:26:14 PM

you are a stupid face, person who just posted.

11:24:43 PM

I'm going to get majorly attacked for this... and I know "this is what the blog is for". All the expression of "angst". You guys know what angst is, right? It's exaggerated feelings... being angsty = making too much out of nothing. It's good to express yourself... but damn guys, have some backbone and do it for real. Talking about it is like running away. Yeah, I know I'm posting here along with everybody else, but how else can I talk to all of the anonymous "Tangsters"?

11:21:50 PM

Friday, November 18, 2005

I guess I've never been in love before, because society says that I should be feeling suddenly awkward and tongue-tied when we're hanging out together, but I've never felt so happy and at ease with anyone the way I am around him. So what exactly is that?

PS: I'm especially confused because when we're walking together in comfortable silence, I wonder what would happen if I just kissed him...or said something...because that's pretty much what I'd do if we weren't such close friends.

10:45:51 PM

Me and a friend talked about how cool tangst is for about ten minutes in 8th period today, and now I can't help but wonder who everybody is. I wish we could talk this freely to each other instead of through a website.

03:21:01 PM

Thursday, November 17, 2005

i almost kissed him today. i wish i did.

04:25:44 PM

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Has anyone ever though about the fact that kissing is kind of wierd?

I mean, hand jobs, oral, sex, they all involve the sexual organs and that makes sense why it would be fun, but is kissing simply society's portrayal of it that links it so closely with sex that it's a turn on?

'Cause I mean seriously, think about exactly what's going on, it's kind of gross really.

And think about eskimos who rub noses to "kiss" is that the same thing all because of society?

I figured I'd put a sort of sex related topic on this site that's not really an angsty thing..hmm..maybe it's not going with the whole theme.

06:46:07 PM

today i was looking around in class wondering if the person next to me posted the last post. try it sometime. its weird.

06:01:29 PM

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I was so convinced that I wanted a break, so that I could fool around and have a bit of fun.

But after talking to him and bursting into tears, I realize I really just want to let him in and show him how much I care. He means everything to me, and I don't want to run away anymore.

01:38:54 AM

Monday, November 14, 2005

What do I think you? I think you rock! Thanks for recommending me on BE to that person looking to promote their blog :-)

PS: I can help give you a boost with what you are doing here. Neat idea. Feel free to submit your blog :-)

teh blogfather
09:24:57 PM

I have this incredible guilt of having the advantage of being born to an educated upper middle class family in the most affluent country in the world. I feel that if i don't make the best use of the advantages that have been dealt to me, i will be the worst kind of failure.

08:32:44 PM

It hurts so much to be near him, but he makes me smile and I love laughing through the tears.

06:13:45 PM

i love boys.

love struck
03:43:30 PM

whos the tangst creator?

03:19:11 PM

I've had a crush on the tangst creator (see, no names!) since ninth grade.

I'm a girl. ;)

12:52:52 AM

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I can't cry. I've tried.

Sometimes I think things would be so much easier if I could let it all out, but I can't.

08:55:27 PM

I'm so confused, because I never know what it means when I'm "**** favorite" or just the best or whatever, so wtf? is it any special at all?

7:30:16 PM

i've gotten to the point where i'm so mad at my parents for never being satisfied with me that i think i'm TRYING to do badly at everything to spite them. show them i don't care what they think anymore.

i dont care what they think, but i do care what my friends think, and i do care about my future.

how do i make it stop?

07:11:24 PM

im a bitch to most people. im sorry.

06:54:15 PM

i have a best friend who treats me like a friend for the first time. ever.

all my other best friends (all two of them) used me, multiple times.

04:30:37 PM

I really hate *** and her damn attitude. She really doesn't consider anyone else's schedules when she makes plans. We're supposed to be a group for godsakes.

1:31:30 PM

I like her, but my life is school (like all other 'loe juniors), so our friendship must suffice.

12:14:45 AM

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I don't know who I am, where I'm going, or why it matters.

11:33:33 PM

I don't know whats going on~

10:34:49 PM

I had more real friends when I was ugly. Now people only like me for who I am on the outside.

04:25:17 PM

I pride myself on my blowjob technique.

12:20:02 AM

Friday, November 11, 2005

Although I'm in a great relationship, I have a huge crush on a friend who I don't know very well.

I'd love to get to know him better because we have so much in common, even though I know that a relationship would never work, nor would I ever pursue one. I just don't know how to approach him without seeming sleazy.

08:40:07 PM

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

i really REALLY like him, but my parents probably wont let me date him.

10:16:53 PM

oblivious or not interested?

09:17:15 PM

Monday, November 07, 2005


So, for the people who posted poems, can I submit them to ELO for Stone Soup? Because Chappell would need to know who you are, but they can still be published anonymously. E-mail me to let me know. Please, cause a friend of mine would be really grateful. So would I.

And yes, I'm submitting the one I wrote.

I'm afraid I'm leading him on because of the awesome sex.

5:37:14 PM

Sunday, November 06, 2005

okay in a more serious tone, I'm feeling terribly angsty in my position as a human being and the whole should I try and make something work when I really want something else sort of thing. Because I'm all for this _________
but I'm so much for this other more than them so I dont know whether I should pursue what I can or if I should try for what it is that I really do want.

09:44:52 PM

Classical music... I'm Ron Burgundy?

09:42:24 PM

i had wild dreams about him last night.


Saturday, November 05, 2005

I love you, but please, just back off.

11:51:13 PM

Thursday, November 03, 2005

i am addicted to facebook.

8:33:12 PM

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

There's a serious issue with this system. I'm always finding how these work within my social knowledge, which is terribly depressing in that I know I'm ego-tripping, and that it's just rather depressing junk in general.

05:22:16 PM

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Does she think there's more to it than friendship? Is there more than friendship? Was there ever more than a laugh and a joy?

If not, is all lost?

Why can't I ever understand the simple things when they involve me?

10:37:01 PM

he confuses me so damned much. why cant he be consistant in his actions. itd be so much easier to deal with things if he just consistantly ignored me. i hate getting sucked back in.

10:02:22 PM

always the brides maid and never the bride...

i see all my friends hook up and talk about their angsty love life but i feel like that person who is just the friend. so far it hasn't paid off.

whats wrong about me?

05:44:57 PM

Monday, October 31, 2005

my best friend hates, no despises this guy who used to like her. she wont even talk to him. she likes this guy who likes her back.

i like both of the guys, and i cant decide which is worse.

02:42:08 PM

I'm torn between trying at relationship that can't work and one that won't because of the former.

12:18:46 PM

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I really think my mother doesn't understand me. And not in the angsty, annoying teenage way, but where she really has no idea what the hell I'm trying to say to her. It's like she passes me off as crazy, and leaves it at that. She doesn't trust me.

09:46:08 PM

i want to go home. but i am at my house.

im so lost.

02:12:32 PM

Thursday, October 27, 2005

i think im the only one on this site who isnt in whatever loop of friends formed this. this is my fifth comment.

08:17:01 PM

How awful of a person does it make me if the reason I don't want to date a perfectly wonderful girl is because I'm holding out for the off chance that one out of two other girls will be interested in me? Psh, I know that's awful.

04:56:30 PM

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I have a crush on a guy who says he's asexual. How can that be?

08:02:20 PM

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I bet the spacing will be messed up. I got hit by some really angsty motivation, so I rattled this off. I'll be ashamed of it later.

We will stand in that room one day

a rosy room that smells of cinnamon

and frustration. and I will reach out my hand

slowly toward the wall; I should think

the pallor of its knuckles is alarming.

Once steadied I will ask you if I

can touch your face or pour the tea.

I’ll laugh because you don’t drink tea

ever since the time you spilled it

and the dark black stain consumed you.

and once among the apple trees,

while sitting in the verdant breeze,

i was sure not to make a sound:

i watched you lie upon the ground

placing a long and soul-wrought look

atop the burdened orchard brook

what dark regret that held you there

i now know not, nor do i care!

save that it was to think of me

and us: we two who cannot be

one? o say it so! else i shall die!

to be crushed by the silver sky…

One day

in that room

as fire sears my veins to ash

throughout the idle pleasantry…

I think I’ll laugh and pour the tea.

08:13:23 PM

Monday, October 24, 2005

i want to go to a party and make out with some guy. i think itd be fun. i dont have the guts.

10:16:56 PM

When I read the part of the meme where you put down what attracted you to the opposite sex, I could have sworn I fit each of the criteria.

Guess not. Hope you find happiness.

10:16:21 PM

well, crap.

i cant write my secret discreetly enough for everyone who reads this not to know who i am and what im referring to.

especially him.

08:10:02 PM

At first, it was once a week, maybe twice.

Then it was every day.

Now it's got me going every hour or two.

Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Tangst!

Am I alone?

04:14:40 PM

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Am I allowed to say I hate gay people?

As a general rule, it's true. Hello, self-loathing.

10:09:29 PM

damn boyfriend stealers.

2:10:58 PM

Friday, October 21, 2005

It doesn't matter how much I love her, how much I care for her and need her and want nothing at all to come between us and want desperately to have nothing ever ever harm her.........there's still the other one.

Every time she passes by, wild thoughts escape.

11:39:29 PM

i havent been on a date with my boyfriend in about two months because weve both been busy, but this afternoon neither of us had any plans and he was like, "umm im gonna hang out with some people from work." apparently he just went to hang out with two girls (i dont know them) for quite a few hours. he didnt even bother trying to contact me when he got home to talk to me since i havent talked to him all day. what the crap.

10:48:31 PM

If only time didn't stop when I see her.
If only my mind didn't stop when I think about her.

I'd figure out what the hell's going,
And regain the friendship we once had.

10:07:26 PM

I'd throw myself at him if I weren't so damn scared to talk to him.

5:33:57 PM

Someone wrote "fag's" on a bus seat and I noticed it while I was on the bus today.

All I could think about was how it was more offensive to grammar than to fags.

It's still bothering me.

5:02:44 PM

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I wish we were better friends, like we used to be. God damn the times now upon us in which time and school seperate people so mercilessly. God damn the WCPSS.

06:01:17 PM

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

So, going with the no name policy. There's this senior at Enloe who's really attractive to me. He wears tight shirts a lot, and tight pants. His butt is shaped attractively. He has really piercing, thoughtful eyes. Basically, I want to practice unabstainance with him. And I don't even know him. I can't even describe how attractive I find him. Ahhhh, he's so hot. What's a person to do.

::/teen rant::

12:22:58 AM

Monday, October 17, 2005

I want to steal his sweatshirt. Mostly because it's his and partially because it is a really nice sweatshirt.

10:14:27 PM

Sunday, October 16, 2005

I have one of the best days ever with you, and still at the end I felt like you got bored of me.

10:58:27 PM

you are more than i bargained for. but thats a good thing.

im more than you bargained for. but thats a bad thing.

9:33:53 PM

I can't park to save my life.

And, no, I don't mean the tricky parallel parking or angled parking or tight-spot parking. . . . . My car has a great turning radius and it's really small and fits everywhere.

I. Just. Can't. Bloody. Park.

03:34:46 PM

Saturday, October 15, 2005

My life parallels Atlas Shrugged so much it's slightly disturbing. . . . . I see so clearly the Henry Reardon, Francisco D'Anconia, Ragnar Danneskjold, and Eddie Willers to my Dagny, and think most of them could recognize themselves as such.

. . . And I wonder if he knows how much he's my Galt.

12:10:06 PM

I'd give anything just to know what to do.

10:20:02 AM

Thursday, October 13, 2005

So yeah, I finally figured out that my friend ***'s crush is this kid named ***. What a weird find...

12:02:53 AM

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I think I'm always the "friend". The one guys come to for advice, but never for actual romantic intentions. And that's okay, I love my guy friends, and I want to help them. guys ever ask any other girls about ME?

11:30:52 PM

"You're a great guy," they say.
"It makes me sad you don't have a girlfriend, and like sad to the point of tears," she said.
Unfortunately for you, everyone thinks that same thought:
you're a great guy but not for me

This is diffusion of responsibility at its worst.

10:46:09 PM

It appears as though I have no feeling to acknowledge him at all, but inside lies that desire to be friends with him after this long. Whenever we are both in class, I can't help but not look at him because I am afraid that he will get the wrong idea when I only want to see how he has become. Sometimes, it takes a few minutes to try and get the courage to finally glance over.

I just wish his head would turn too. Maybe my heart will be able to stop and start pounding all over again.

7:53:40 PM

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I wonder if she'll ever feel the same way

10:14:33 PM

Well you were sitting around
Like you were looking for something to do
And I'd come strolling by
'Cuz that had been my situation, too
So I came up behind you
And leaned on the back of the seat
It seemed so long I talked with you
Before you were on your feet
And off again
In the wind
While I'll never know if you were real
You really taught me how to feel.

10:13:37 PM

I feel so uneloquent now.

06:13:57 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

A sonnet. Conform the words to the rhythm, not the rhythm to the words:

Your tears do not solve anything at all
They merely make your eyes puffy and red.
It does not matter where the droplets fall—
In public show, or in one’s private bed
They still have no pow’r, no magical charm;
Tell me when salty tears have done as much
As stopping death, disease, and physical harm,
Can tears mimic a mother’s soothing touch?
There is no plant which in that water grows
And there’s no beast that drinks from tear-fed streams
Would merchants trade my tears for food or clothes?
And could those tears fulfill my weakest dreams?

But then somehow still, down my dirty cheek,
I feel the trace of a droplet, a sparkl’ng creek.

09:51:47 PM

Inside this broken body
There's a heart that yearns for you.
And inside that broken heart,
There's a secret love that's true.
A secret that should not be kept,
And a lie to be untold.
Inside this broken body,
There's a hand that meets your mold.
Your fingers know the story,
And your eyes know my own face.
My broken heart is losing ground,
Your own's my saving grace.
Inside this broken body,
There's a terror to be swayed.
Because I'm so scared without you,
Unsafe and so afraid.
My fear, it does survive me,
And I'm wanting for your guide.
Inside this broken body,
There's a heart somewhere inside.
And even though it's broken
And even though it's cold,
I cannot think without you,
And my mind has grown so old.
I'm careless, unaware,
I'm kissing you away.
You're locked away, a memory;
And a memory you'll stay.
Inside this broken body
There's a stranger you don't know.
And inside that broken stranger,
Is the girl who loved you so.

06:45:59 PM

Life -- The Elusive Bitch

It's got its peaks
And its valleys
It's got its highs,
And its lows.
It's life,
The elusive bitch.

Why must it taunt me so?

She brings me happiness,
And joy.
She comes bearing euphoria,
And a laugh.
Then she beats me down.

He bears guilt,
And fear.
He hates my guts,
And feeds on my soul.
Then he compliments my style.

Why does life taunt me so?

It build me up,
Only to dash me against the rocks.
It nurtures my soul,
Only to cast it aside.
It's life,
The elusive bitch.

Will it ever end?

06:35:67 PM