Monday, October 31, 2005

my best friend hates, no despises this guy who used to like her. she wont even talk to him. she likes this guy who likes her back.

i like both of the guys, and i cant decide which is worse.

02:42:08 PM

I'm torn between trying at relationship that can't work and one that won't because of the former.

12:18:46 PM

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I really think my mother doesn't understand me. And not in the angsty, annoying teenage way, but where she really has no idea what the hell I'm trying to say to her. It's like she passes me off as crazy, and leaves it at that. She doesn't trust me.

09:46:08 PM

i want to go home. but i am at my house.

im so lost.

02:12:32 PM

Thursday, October 27, 2005

i think im the only one on this site who isnt in whatever loop of friends formed this. this is my fifth comment.

08:17:01 PM

How awful of a person does it make me if the reason I don't want to date a perfectly wonderful girl is because I'm holding out for the off chance that one out of two other girls will be interested in me? Psh, I know that's awful.

04:56:30 PM

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I have a crush on a guy who says he's asexual. How can that be?

08:02:20 PM

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I bet the spacing will be messed up. I got hit by some really angsty motivation, so I rattled this off. I'll be ashamed of it later.

We will stand in that room one day

a rosy room that smells of cinnamon

and frustration. and I will reach out my hand

slowly toward the wall; I should think

the pallor of its knuckles is alarming.

Once steadied I will ask you if I

can touch your face or pour the tea.

I’ll laugh because you don’t drink tea

ever since the time you spilled it

and the dark black stain consumed you.

and once among the apple trees,

while sitting in the verdant breeze,

i was sure not to make a sound:

i watched you lie upon the ground

placing a long and soul-wrought look

atop the burdened orchard brook

what dark regret that held you there

i now know not, nor do i care!

save that it was to think of me

and us: we two who cannot be

one? o say it so! else i shall die!

to be crushed by the silver sky…

One day

in that room

as fire sears my veins to ash

throughout the idle pleasantry…

I think I’ll laugh and pour the tea.

08:13:23 PM

Monday, October 24, 2005

i want to go to a party and make out with some guy. i think itd be fun. i dont have the guts.

10:16:56 PM

When I read the part of the meme where you put down what attracted you to the opposite sex, I could have sworn I fit each of the criteria.

Guess not. Hope you find happiness.

10:16:21 PM

well, crap.

i cant write my secret discreetly enough for everyone who reads this not to know who i am and what im referring to.

especially him.

08:10:02 PM

At first, it was once a week, maybe twice.

Then it was every day.

Now it's got me going every hour or two.

Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Tangst!

Am I alone?

04:14:40 PM

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Am I allowed to say I hate gay people?

As a general rule, it's true. Hello, self-loathing.

10:09:29 PM

damn boyfriend stealers.

2:10:58 PM

Friday, October 21, 2005

It doesn't matter how much I love her, how much I care for her and need her and want nothing at all to come between us and want desperately to have nothing ever ever harm her.........there's still the other one.

Every time she passes by, wild thoughts escape.

11:39:29 PM

i havent been on a date with my boyfriend in about two months because weve both been busy, but this afternoon neither of us had any plans and he was like, "umm im gonna hang out with some people from work." apparently he just went to hang out with two girls (i dont know them) for quite a few hours. he didnt even bother trying to contact me when he got home to talk to me since i havent talked to him all day. what the crap.

10:48:31 PM

If only time didn't stop when I see her.
If only my mind didn't stop when I think about her.

I'd figure out what the hell's going,
And regain the friendship we once had.

10:07:26 PM

I'd throw myself at him if I weren't so damn scared to talk to him.

5:33:57 PM

Someone wrote "fag's" on a bus seat and I noticed it while I was on the bus today.

All I could think about was how it was more offensive to grammar than to fags.

It's still bothering me.

5:02:44 PM

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I wish we were better friends, like we used to be. God damn the times now upon us in which time and school seperate people so mercilessly. God damn the WCPSS.

06:01:17 PM

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

So, going with the no name policy. There's this senior at Enloe who's really attractive to me. He wears tight shirts a lot, and tight pants. His butt is shaped attractively. He has really piercing, thoughtful eyes. Basically, I want to practice unabstainance with him. And I don't even know him. I can't even describe how attractive I find him. Ahhhh, he's so hot. What's a person to do.

::/teen rant::

12:22:58 AM

Monday, October 17, 2005

I want to steal his sweatshirt. Mostly because it's his and partially because it is a really nice sweatshirt.

10:14:27 PM

Sunday, October 16, 2005

I have one of the best days ever with you, and still at the end I felt like you got bored of me.

10:58:27 PM

you are more than i bargained for. but thats a good thing.

im more than you bargained for. but thats a bad thing.

9:33:53 PM

I can't park to save my life.

And, no, I don't mean the tricky parallel parking or angled parking or tight-spot parking. . . . . My car has a great turning radius and it's really small and fits everywhere.

I. Just. Can't. Bloody. Park.

03:34:46 PM

Saturday, October 15, 2005

My life parallels Atlas Shrugged so much it's slightly disturbing. . . . . I see so clearly the Henry Reardon, Francisco D'Anconia, Ragnar Danneskjold, and Eddie Willers to my Dagny, and think most of them could recognize themselves as such.

. . . And I wonder if he knows how much he's my Galt.

12:10:06 PM

I'd give anything just to know what to do.

10:20:02 AM

Thursday, October 13, 2005

So yeah, I finally figured out that my friend ***'s crush is this kid named ***. What a weird find...

12:02:53 AM

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I think I'm always the "friend". The one guys come to for advice, but never for actual romantic intentions. And that's okay, I love my guy friends, and I want to help them. guys ever ask any other girls about ME?

11:30:52 PM

"You're a great guy," they say.
"It makes me sad you don't have a girlfriend, and like sad to the point of tears," she said.
Unfortunately for you, everyone thinks that same thought:
you're a great guy but not for me

This is diffusion of responsibility at its worst.

10:46:09 PM

It appears as though I have no feeling to acknowledge him at all, but inside lies that desire to be friends with him after this long. Whenever we are both in class, I can't help but not look at him because I am afraid that he will get the wrong idea when I only want to see how he has become. Sometimes, it takes a few minutes to try and get the courage to finally glance over.

I just wish his head would turn too. Maybe my heart will be able to stop and start pounding all over again.

7:53:40 PM

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I wonder if she'll ever feel the same way

10:14:33 PM

Well you were sitting around
Like you were looking for something to do
And I'd come strolling by
'Cuz that had been my situation, too
So I came up behind you
And leaned on the back of the seat
It seemed so long I talked with you
Before you were on your feet
And off again
In the wind
While I'll never know if you were real
You really taught me how to feel.

10:13:37 PM

I feel so uneloquent now.

06:13:57 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

A sonnet. Conform the words to the rhythm, not the rhythm to the words:

Your tears do not solve anything at all
They merely make your eyes puffy and red.
It does not matter where the droplets fall—
In public show, or in one’s private bed
They still have no pow’r, no magical charm;
Tell me when salty tears have done as much
As stopping death, disease, and physical harm,
Can tears mimic a mother’s soothing touch?
There is no plant which in that water grows
And there’s no beast that drinks from tear-fed streams
Would merchants trade my tears for food or clothes?
And could those tears fulfill my weakest dreams?

But then somehow still, down my dirty cheek,
I feel the trace of a droplet, a sparkl’ng creek.

09:51:47 PM

Inside this broken body
There's a heart that yearns for you.
And inside that broken heart,
There's a secret love that's true.
A secret that should not be kept,
And a lie to be untold.
Inside this broken body,
There's a hand that meets your mold.
Your fingers know the story,
And your eyes know my own face.
My broken heart is losing ground,
Your own's my saving grace.
Inside this broken body,
There's a terror to be swayed.
Because I'm so scared without you,
Unsafe and so afraid.
My fear, it does survive me,
And I'm wanting for your guide.
Inside this broken body,
There's a heart somewhere inside.
And even though it's broken
And even though it's cold,
I cannot think without you,
And my mind has grown so old.
I'm careless, unaware,
I'm kissing you away.
You're locked away, a memory;
And a memory you'll stay.
Inside this broken body
There's a stranger you don't know.
And inside that broken stranger,
Is the girl who loved you so.

06:45:59 PM

Life -- The Elusive Bitch

It's got its peaks
And its valleys
It's got its highs,
And its lows.
It's life,
The elusive bitch.

Why must it taunt me so?

She brings me happiness,
And joy.
She comes bearing euphoria,
And a laugh.
Then she beats me down.

He bears guilt,
And fear.
He hates my guts,
And feeds on my soul.
Then he compliments my style.

Why does life taunt me so?

It build me up,
Only to dash me against the rocks.
It nurtures my soul,
Only to cast it aside.
It's life,
The elusive bitch.

Will it ever end?

06:35:67 PM