Thursday, August 31, 2006

Notice: 2000th post recognition.

Okay, so since it's the easiest and simplest, we're going to do the whole "Ask the Admins" thing again.

Post your questions here, and we'll link back answers from the Tangst Blog as the admins post them. Exact same format as before. Remember that you can ask questions of specific admins, or to the entire group in general. Questions that were asked before can be asked again. But that doesn't necessarily mean they'll be answered again.

Comments will be disabled after Thursday, August 31, 2006. We've got a little surprise in store for September, pending majority admin approval.

Note: Answers have been posted by sithgirl, PChis, Rashi, and Graffiti.

I thought that lake essay was about youth so much, oh well.


Anonymous
11:40:24 PM

ever see something and your just like " man that sucks for him/her" and you feel bad for them, well i kinda like that feeling it reminds me i have a conscience.


Anonymous
11:39:51 PM

those feelings, they're always rushing back. even though it's been forever, since it's been over.


Anonymous
10:23:39 PM

i wish i could get back the end of sept. '05. that was fabulous.


Anonymous
10:22:45 PM

I find myself extremely attracted to a boy in one of my classes. He's one year younger, but I've never been so automatically attracted to anyone in my life. He is amazingly cute and really smart and we share some mutual friends. I looked at his facebook profile and fell for him even more. He's p e r f e c t. The thing is, I told my friend and she says that he was a huge jerk to one of her friends in a relationship and the last thing on Earth I need right now is relationship drama.

Part of me just wants to get over him, but the other part enjoys loving him quite a bit. I'm really kind of torn about this.


Anonymous
09:04:30 PM

Tell me how things stand between us.


Anonymous
09:03:22 PM

I miss '06. A lot.


Anonymous
08:33:35 PM

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Internet drama may possibly be the worst thing ever created by mankind. Right up there with the A-bomb.


Anonymous
10:48:34 PM

stress much?

junior year is overrated.


Anonymous
09:26:17 PM

I wish I didn't feel so empty because I had to leave. The reality of not being with him hurts more each time and I just can't move on.


Anonymous
08:48:51 PM

I love her.


Anonymous
08:45:27 PM

I wish you didn't still love me. Because deep down, I love you too.

But I'm with him and..well..I don't want to throw this away for something that might just be stupid idealism, nostalgia, and hope that maybe what we had was perfect afterall.

But it's so hard not to kiss you.


Anonymous
08:00:09 PM

I ♥ the first stall in the girls' bathroom below the foreign language hall. It's sort of like the religion discussion/tangst stall, or something Whenever I go in there I read all of the stuff that people've written there. All of the commentary keeps on getting painted over, but it never really dies.


Anonymous
07:47:39 PM

I'm (afraid? excited? shamed? proud?) that I'm (not?) going to college.


Anonyomous
07:41:14 PM

He'll never write about me here.


Anonymous
07:39:35 PM

When I see her smile it takes away everything and sets me right back into a happy mood. I can have just cried out in pain for an hour, sweating, feeling like you are about to die because I can barely stand up straight and all it takes is the curling of her lip and the flash of her teeth. I Love her and I love her smile!


Anonymous
07:18:49 PM

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I drove 45 minutes to your house and you ditch me for chinese food then get mad because I won't wait around for an hour until you come back with your friends?!

What kind of fucking boyfriend are you?

(the term soon-to-be ex comes to mind)


Anonymous
08:52:44 PM

It's funny how you sometimes fool yourself into thinking something until you see how crazy it realy is in writing.


Anonymous
07:49:22 PM

Monday, August 28, 2006

I hate it when my life gets put on Tangst.


Anonymous
07:09:18 PM

guys:

would you still go after a girl that you liked if she didn't call you back and not want to hangout with you?


Anonymous
03:56:06 PM

Sunday, August 27, 2006

If he doesn't want to be with me, then I'll do everything in my power to make his life happy and comfortable without him ever knowing it was me.


Anonymous
09:52:23 PM

When I'm sitting up, turned around, fumbling with my things--pulling on my tangled shirt and bra and camisole, smoothing my hair in a rush because soon we both must look presentable, patting at my flushed cheeks and tugging at the creases, distracted--I flash my eye back and swivel around, fingers still smoothing the wrinkles on my front.

and he's laying there, head on hands, and smiling.

"Your back," he says, raising a palm to trace my shoulder. "It's so beautiful. . . . I'd never noticed that before."

I think I fall in love with him a little more every day.


Anonymous
09:41:50 PM

does anyone know of any classes that are 6th period but not 5th?


Anonymous
08:59:55 PM

so what are some signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you?


Anonymous
08:11:39 PM

i feel like i can't talk to my mom about boys anymore and that sucks.


Anonymous
07:29:43 PM

It's the most wonderful feeling just to see him after three months. Then, he went out of his way to say "Hey, what's up?" I'm a happy, happy girl...


Bullet
06:02:07 PM

so i liked this guy at the beggining of last year. but he had a g/f so i had no chance....even though he flirted sometimes. so i got over him. but i didnt really.

then at the end of last year he started liking me...with the g/f. he felt bad b/c she was moving away so he didnt break up with her until she was leaving. but he still liked me. and tried to take me out and do stuff for me etc.

so now i dont even know if i want to give him a chance b/c i had to wait for him for like two months. so i dont call him back like one day and now he's back with his old g/f.

I. hate. boys.

you might think i'm stupid b/c i didnt call him back. but i'm glad i didnt. he wasn't worth it.


Anonymous
02:58:32 AM

Saturday, August 26, 2006

you want him to be happy, just for him to be happy with you.
not with anyone else.


Anonymous
02:24:14 PM

....I guess we're back to not talking afterall.


Anonymous
12:14:03 PM

when you know that everything is supposed to be passed over, and it was, but only for a little,

what do you do, when you're starting to feel that special feeling again?

even if it's dispite all the qualities that he has.


Anonymous
11:18:11 AM

Little women is my favorite movie of all time...i've seen it about a million times and i still cry when beth dies...


Anonymous
02:12:32 AM

Friday, August 25, 2006

To respond to those who comments proliferated on my previous post. No, life is not fair. I am not saying it should be. If it were, then it's entire existence would contradict itself.

What goes around doesn't come around. Quit deluding yourself. Don't live selflessly, for others, in order to be altruistic, in order that something may come around for you. It won't.

Yes, life isn't fair. It's just more fair than death.


Anonymous
10:36:34 PM

MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK is the most talented group of men I have ever encountered...


Anonymous
08:22:00 PM

Why does my heart tell me yes when the world tells me no?


Anonymous
06:56:00 PM

should i give a guy a chance out of pity?

because thats exactly what i'm doing.


Anonymous
05:21:45 PM

I have a class with the guy I like, and I was having mixed feelings about this because i'm attempting to get over him. I said hi when I walked in, but other then that we didn't talk (even though he was sitting considerably close by). After class ended I started walking out with my friends, but he stopped me and started talking, and even walked out of his way to walk with me to my class. This small act was on my mind the rest of the day, even though I know it doesn't mean anything.


Anonymous
05:17:22 PM

wow none of my friends are in my classes i feel like theyve all moved on without me and im left alone. I feel like a loser.


Anonymous
05:11:51 PM

We don't have lunch together anymore, I hardly ever see you in the halls (according to my route the first day of school, I'll have to expiriment), a lot of my friends say you're in their classes, and I freaking miss you (and have missed you since June).

How am I supposed to have a successful crush on someone I never see (well, maybe twice-ish a week for very short periods of time)? I never really realized how big Enloe is before now. Damnit.


Anonymous
04:09:24 PM

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Why do we keep trying to convince ourselves that life is fair, that what goes around comes around, and that everything happens for a reason?

We say that life isn't fair, but, deep down, we believe that it will be. That bad people will get what they deserve. That somehow, fairness will prevail in our lives.

Well, guess what?
Life isn't fair. I am not saying this the way it usually is said, in a harsh, sarcastic kind of voice, the kind you heard from your mother when you whined for candy in the supermarket.

I am saying this in the voice of your best friend, not as a consolation, but a revelation. Think about it. Guess what? Life isn't fair!!
That is a discovery, in itself, when you really pay attention to it.
That is worthy of your time- if you pay attention.

You feel released don't you? Of this burden of justice?
Life isn't fair, don't let yourself think that again. Rejoice in the fact that you'll never try to cheer yourself up by believing this.

If you want justice, if you want fairness, then MAKE your life fair. No one else can do it for you. You are born free, after all.


Anonymous
11:28:30 PM

I once used aloe vera gel as lube. It stung a little bit, but it did the trick.


Anonymous
10:33:56 PM

I'm gonna get fucking killed. why am i so irresponsible????


Anonymous
10:23:52

why do parents write fucking blogs full of nothing but their kids pictures?? Why aren't they parenting instead of posting stupid pictures all day?


Anonymous
10:22:13

07



That is all.


Anonymous
10:16:06 PM

I've been in love with him for over two years now. He's two and half years old. He has just started college while I am a junior in high school. I have tried time and time again to forget about him, and despite the fact that it may work for a while, he keeps hitting me again...he is like a fucking boomerang.
And now right after he breaks up with his girlfriend of 8 months (who he went pretty far with, not sex, but almost), he's suddenly talking to me....and it makes me happy but my parents say no...my parents forbid me to even talk to him (for three months...until the end of september)
My best friend practically screams "NOOOO!!!" when I tell her I'm talking to this guy.
Girls I have hardly even talk to approach me and warn me to stay away from this guy, because he is trouble.

But I am still in love.
He's kissed me, and I know it shouldn't have happened, but I think about it all the time, and I want nothing more than to hold him forever and just fall and fall into his arms, and I know it sounds tacky but it's true.
And I thought I finally got over him, but recently I"ve been falling deeper and deeper in love .....


Anonymous
10:13:45 PM

I've not finished my apush summer work yet... I have 8 hours


Anonymous
10:00:42 PM

school tommorow is like impending doom...


Anonymous
07:55:16 PM

12 hours 'til 06-07 begins.

I feel mixed about this.


Anonymous
07:15:47 PM

i've moved on. i've made my peace. i'm a happier person because of it. my mind is in a state of closure.

so why is it when i see him in the hallways i get this little jump in my stomach, nervously try to smooth down my hair in an attempt to look good, and feel a rush of nausea (or is it awkwardness?) come over me?

sometimes i wish i could have someone psychoanalyze me and tell me why i do the things i do.


Anonymous
06:20:57 PM

Fuck. I told myself I wouldn't leave single. I did.

Two weeks until my next chance. I will not fail again.


Anonymous
05:49:54 PM

I don't like to tangst out, cuz everyone knows who I am.


Anonymous
02:58:29 PM

Last night, my boyfriend fucked me for two hours, gave me four orgasms, until I turned into a babbling idiot. I had to push him off toward the end because I literally thought I was going to pass out. And here I thought he wasn't too interested in sex. The best part? He wouldn't stop telling me how gosh darn in love with me he is.


Sorry female race. He's mine. :)


Anonymous
01:37:30 PM

I just heard this song on the radio
"and even when your hope is gone, move along move along, just to make it through"
The problem, however, is that I never lose hope. There is always a tiny part of me that hopes he will randomly realize that it is me he wants to be with. Whenever he asks me to hang out, my hope is renewed that if I look good enough, or act cool enough, he will start liking me. But then by the end of the night i'm shot down, but there is still that tiny part of me. It is turning out to be really aggravating, because I know it'll never happen but apparently hope isn't listening to my brain.


Anonymous
01:36:04 PM

CLASS OF 2019!!!! WHOOT!


Anonymous
01:40:38 AM

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

you know... i'm going to have to get over it.

that's my only option at this point. no more "what if"s. even i talked to him, it would just cause more hurt and confusion. and i really don't want to do that.


Anonymous
11:59:39 PM

Tomorrow is the last day of summer ::tear::


Anonymous
10:31:04 PM

Responsibility is man's greatest burden.


Anonymous
10:04:34 PM

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

i guess i'm just PMSing...

but god my life sucks right now. and i hate it.


Anonymous
10:14:50 PM

Don't look down, Dave.

/

/ ;]


Dave
09:22:58 PM

i secretley love playing violent video games, especially trying to come up with creative ways to blow myself up.

and yet i wonder why i've never been kissed.... *shakes head*


Anonymous
08:52:14 PM

so anyone know how to reactivate my span account? I tried to contact the school but alas not much luck so...


Anonymous
05:06:18 PM

A person whom I care about very much is leaving for a college far away tommorrow. It had to happen, but I still don't like it.


Anonymous
12:19:55 AM

i tried... i'll try again.

people think i don't try, but in reality i just always fail.

i really did like him...

do you ever wonder if you're really really ugly and just nobody will tell you so?


Anonymous
12:19:08 AM

Monday, August 21, 2006

I don't feel like a senior... Everyone keeps coming to me for advice, it's weird...


Anonymous
07:22:22 PM

God fucking damn fucking damn Mrs. Fucking *.

God, I HATE HATE HATE the counselers at my school.


FUCK YOU, idiots!!


Anonymous
11:35:14 AM

[Admin note: Last inital removed from post to prevent identifying the individual.]

I really wish that Bill O'Rielly would just shut up.


Anonymous
02:51:22 AM

The only person I trust enough to cry in front of is my exboyfriend. I wish things were different.


Anonymous
01:15:10 AM

Sunday, August 20, 2006

god i hate my stupid fucking manager. That fat whore what a bitch, I think shes trying to get me fired. how can she be so dman condescending when she seems to be a mentally ill walrus.
well i feel a little less angry so ill end my rant.


Anonymous
07:07:53 PM

Saturday, August 19, 2006

ugh damnit no one is in my lunch period. but then again i always fret over my schedule so who knows. such is life.


Anonymous
10:17:05 PM

I love him. I have loved him for 3 years now, but we are just good friends. Sometimes, I feel as if I should tell him how I feel, yet, I don't know if it's appropriate since he has a girlfriend already. what should I do?


Anonymous
09:57:05 PM

Life sucks. I'm making brownies and watching Japanese horror flicks.


Anonymous
09:18:20 PM

Are the people in your town liberal or conservative (politically speaking)?? I live in a town of rich white liberal hippies and I am getting kinda sick of it even though I am mostly liberal myself. Sometimes I just wish they would shut up and stop pretending to be accepting of the rest of the world.


colorado kid
06:30:34 PM

I laugh at that stupid, emo 'Blood of Our Pens' blog. They haven't had a post since February.

Suckers! It takes more than affiliation to sell a blog.


Anonymous
06:19:13 PM

how would you feel if your best friend was dating the person you still love? what would you do? is there even anything to be done?

and what if they knew they were hurting you? and kept on anyways? is that ever forgivable?

how would you get past it and move on? would things ever be the same again?


Anonymous
04:15:58 PM

why does loving someone have to hurt so much?


Anonymous
03:45:14 PM

Hey....
He said he might show up.
Well, that took courage....

Ah, well.
Please wish me luck....


Anonymous
02:49:40 PM

i really do like to hurt...


Anonymous
12:09:44 PM

Friday, August 18, 2006

he 'just loves me as a friend', and that's the best that i've ever gotten with a guy i really like.

two of my friends want me to be one of them, but i'm not cut out for that. i'm not pretty enough or whatever, but if i say that then i get a shower of empty lies.

which is probably the best i can hope for.

they smoke and drink and pop diet pills and binge and purge and god knows what else.

i don't know what the hell i'm doing.


Anonymous
11:08:08 PM

Increasingly, I feel as if I'm not good enough for the man I have.


Anonymous
08:15:57 PM

right now, life is good. i hope i'm not jinxing it. seriously.


Anonymous
07:44:46 PM

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Modest girls are the hottest girls.


Anonymous
11:55:31 PM

It brings me great joy to make my mother cry.


Anonymous
09:40:18 PM

I have my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting tomorrow.

Wish me luck. I need it more than ever.


Anonymous
02:54:46 AM

You managed to alienate all of your old friends, but not me. Never me. I've been the one defending you to them all this time.

But now you've crossed the invisible line and I can't do it anymore. I don't want to. You're driving me away and I'm going to stop resisting it. I don't think you even realize the magnitude of what you've done.

Girls: we're despicable creatures.


Anonymous
12:40:30 AM

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I think everyone should get a book of rules saying what Best Friends can and can not do.

Some things are simply Unforgivable.


Anonymous
11:57:19 PM

How fucking messed up is it that right after a panic attack, I call my exboyfriend to talk through the fact that I was raped rather than my current boyfriend?

God. I don't know what my problem is. I don't know if I'm still in love with my ex, or if it's that sense of security, compassion, and familiarity I crave. Especially when my current boyfriend is so damn closed off.

I seem to have all the answers..until it's my messed up life.


Anonymous
01:37:31 AM

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

damn you schedule and your knack to never give me the same classes as my friends. damn you to hell


Anonymous
11:05:14 PM

I hate my family sometimes. No one understands me.


Anonymous
08:53:45 PM

why cannot dell give to me a laptop battery that doesnt spontaneously combust!!!!!


Anonymous
06:49:48 PM

*Sigh*

He has been fighting stomach cancer for two years now. He lasted much longer than his doctors expected.

But now he's gone. He was like a grandfather to me.

Shalom, chaver.

to the one who knows who he is:

i just thought this was interesting. i don't really mean this as strongly as it seems. cleopatra feels strongly. i just think it's stated well. enough disclaimers. yeah.

"Fool! Don't you see now that I could have poisoned you a hundred times had I been able to live without you." -cleopatra


Alison
12:33:01 PM

well i know that there was another girl from iowa who posted about her admiration and affection for one of the admin, but i have to say:

i'm from iowa. i think i've known the admin longer than you. and quite frankly, i think he's the most fantastic kid in that entire state.

*censored*, i love you!


ok, now the angsty part:
i'm scared for school and being overwhelmed, and it hasn't even started yet. woohoo for pre-emptive freakouts.


Anonymous
12:32:25 AM

Monday, August 14, 2006

I followed tangst obsessively since it's inception. I loved it, and used every spare second to grab my lappy and check the site, feeling deep disapointment every time I saw that there was nothing new.

Over the summer, I went away for two-and-a-half months to another continent, returned and discovered that...

I. JUST. DON'T. CARE.

None of your heart-rending stories and poetry have power over me anymore.

So this is my farewell, dear friends. Oh, I may check in every so often, when I'm bored, but no longer shall I be a slave to the angst.


Anonymous
07:31:25 PM

to the admin who still knows a girl in iowa:

the girl is in iowa is slightly pissed off and disappointed. just so you know.


Alison
10:57:51 AM

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Hey everyone. I know it's been forever since anyone has seen hide or hair of me, but I got an intense job, etc. I just wanted a few suggestions from anyone who knows what they're talking about...

Does anyone have any college suggestions for someone interested in Psychology as a major? Or a way of looking at the top colleges for a particular major.

Thanks,
Doctor A

A few years ago, I was going to the library to return some books. In the lobby, on the bulletin board, between the lost pet flyers and notices for upcoming communications workshops, there was a poster for the Peace Corps. It was the sort of poster with strips of perforated paper on the bottom, each with the number and URL of the Peace Corps. I took one. It's been in my wallet ever since.

There's so much need in this world. I feel sick sometimes, knowing that there are people in dire need of food, water, or medical attention and that I am doing nothing to help them. People know that I feel this way, but I've never told anyone about the Peace Corps paper in my wallet.

They need me. I'm going to do it.


Anonymous
05:53:18 PM

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Well I'm out of here guys. Just thought that I'd say goodbye to all of you despite our varying levels of friendship (or lack thereof). I'm off with the notion that there will be much bigger better things out there. Many smarter, sexier people, many more brilliant discussions and daring escapades, and possibly a place I can call home once this one has disappeared.

That's the trouble though and my greatest fear. What if it's not? If college were merely "just as good" as these last four years have been I would be perfectly content. I would be damn lucky in fact. Enloe has been hard, sure. I've felt embarrased, I've felt unwanted, I've been so stressed out that couseling was sounding more and more like a viable option, but those were just moments, and just like all of you will do soon: I made it. I made it out happy and healthy and better for the experiences I had. And looking at it from the other side, overall I feel a sense of peace and accomplishment.

So as I'm packing my last boxes and staring down that long dusty road wondering just where I'll end up, I want you all to know that I'm thinking of you and my memories of all the things we've shared will always be a part of who I am.

I'm going off ahead.

If you don't hear from me soon... send a search party.


Anonymous
11:20:59 PM

summer is so short


Anonymous
09:53:17 PM

it's a beautiful day, go out and play :)


Anonymous
06:19:36 PM

One night, George W. Bush is awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. Bush asks: "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises.

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moves through the dark bedroom. "Tom," W asks, "what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," Jefferson advises.

Bush isn't sleeping well the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asks. Abe answers: "Go see a play."

BRILLIANT I DO INEVITABLY SAY!!!!


Anonymous
05:49:05 PM

Admin Note: Prior art found at http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokebushghosts.htm

the administrator of this site who knows a girl in iowa rocks the girl in iowa's socks off. just so he knows.


alison
04:44:06 PM

Where is Maverick?


Anonymous
12:25:27 PM

the fat girl at my work got fired and im actually kinda glad because that way i dont have to put up with her flirting.


Anonymous
12:07:43 AM

Im Henry the eight I am.


Anonymous
12:06:40 AM

Friday, August 11, 2006

"amazingly self-centered girl"? you fucker.


Anonymous
09:46:40 PM

Ever have one of those days where you're ashamed of everything you do, and you just want to lock yourself somewhere where no one will be looking at you? Not to cry, but just to sit, free of the obligations inherent in conversation, interpersonal interaction. I have a lot of days like that. Today is one of them.


Anonymous
05:50:37 PM

I'm really addicted to Moe's food. It's pretty unhealthy. I go there at least once a week, sometimes twice..but I want it everyday. :(

There's got to be nicotine in the salsa.


Anonymous
03:35:11 AM

Thursday, August 10, 2006

I am alone.


Anonymous
11:35:59 PM

I can't do it. I can't force myself to pick up the damn phone and make the call.

Pathetic.


Anonymous
09:44:04 PM

How do you know when to stop torturing yourself?
And when is it too late to fix things?
And are second chances possible?


Anonymous
07:53:28

"Well are you going to drive me or am I taking my car?"

Of course he's going to ask me why I would be stupid enough to think that he'd bother with something as mundane as driving me places.

"Because if you don't drive me, then the car will stay with me forever. I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back."

I'm leaving this house. By God, by the end of next week I will be gone. And I doubt I'm coming back.

This has been so long...


Anonymous
02:35:10 PM

I wish life was like a mosh pit. No matter how hard you fall, there's always someone to pick your ass back up and toss you right back into the mayhem.


Anonymous
09:49:57 AM

I haven't posted on tangst in nearly 6 months.


CajunExplosion
12:29:23 AM

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I dont have a social life. I have quite a few friend but im not really a solid part of any circle. Well i am but they never do anything.


Anonymous
10:22:51 PM

She's my best friend, one of the people who's supposed to know me extraordinarily well. Why can't she see that she's killing me? That every suggestion, every "what if" detail she thinks of hurts me?


Anonymous
01:53:14 AM

That's it. I'm sick of myself. I blew it tonight.

Tomorrow. I swear I will do it tomorrow.

I might've been nine months too late in realizing it, but I finally have. You can't sue me for being slow. But you know what? I don't have a heart of stone like he does; and it took me a damn long time to heal, and to figure out what I wanted out of him, and out of life. I'm starting this year fresh, with a new attitude towards him and myself, and I'm ready to face the world again. I don't need to run to him every time my life starts to seem fucked up, and I realize now that he isn't, and has never been, as big a part of my life as I thought. I'm ready to kick some ass.


Anonymous
12:00:39 AM

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

ok so i'm trying to get my schedule changed and i need to know if there is a spanish 2 class 1st period. does anyone out there either have it or know if there is one?


morethanjustajock
08:11:41 PM

The longer I wait, the bigger the problems get. I wish I had a spine.


Anonymous
05:02:21 PM

I thought I could handle it. I really did think so.

It's been months, but now I've lost him for good. I haven't cried this much, for this long, this hard since we broke up. I've already thrown up twice.

But the mere "what if" of the two of them together... I can't take it.

I thought I had pulled myself back together, I was trying to date again. Not trying very hard, but trying.

I havne't posted here for months, but I don't have anyone to talk to. It just hurts so damn much.

Why do I fuck up my life so badly?
Why am I such a stone?

I can't do this. To her. To myself. But especially to him. It's not fair.

I've made such a mess of things.


Anonymous
06:31:35 AM

I'm going to do it today.
I'm going to calmly sit in her office, and tell her that I don't need her any more.
(I wanted a psychiatric check-up, now I'm on for every week.)

Going through my journal made me realize - my problems are gone of their own accord. Things used to be a lot worse.

I can't wait to get out of "therapy."


Anonymous
02:49:52 AM

so pretty much, I give up

on both of them


Anonymous
01:53:11 AM

Monday, August 07, 2006

I feel
more naieve
in this moment
than ever
before

Sunday, August 06, 2006

I'm the person who posted the story about my friend who's girlfriend died. I just found out that I'm in love with him. Could I have worse timing? There is no way I can date him with all he's going through. He needs to come to terms with everything he's going through. I just found out he feels the same about me through a friend and now my hearts telling me to go one way and my heads wants me to go another. Oh, this angst. When will the madness stop?...


Anonymous
03:54:30 PM

does anyone have spanish 2 during 6th period?


morethanjustajock
10:52:59 AM

I can't believe he actually said it. "You shouldn't worry about having unprotected sex with me because you're sterile anyways."

Fucking hell. If you know a better way to just rip out my heart yet again and stomp on it, please, I'm all ears.


Anonymous
03:53:37 AM

Saturday, August 05, 2006

okay i commented on the last blog, and i really need to say this.

why the fuck are you all such douchebags? give some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. okay, so you're under an anonymous name (except for the admins or regular posters), why does that give you all the reason in the world to put people down? even if the problems aren't big to you, they're PROBLEMS. we all have them. don't fucking parade around like you've never gone through ridiculous and stupid shit in your life.

i understand that not everyone who posts on tangst is mean or rude or w/e, but for the past few months all i've been noticing is the growth of numbers of people who feel that it's okay to kick people when they're down. BE NICE. really, it's not that hard.


Anonymous
11:51:44 PM

I was in the middle of writing an open, honest post when I had to stop. I would never be able to post it without massive editing because my phrasing and strict grammar adherence are too distinctive. This happens too often.

Even the wording of this missive was changed about 5 times so as not to implicate myself.


Anonymous
08:17:49 PM

I didn't miss him at all, and when he called, I panicked and didn't answer. That's the final signal in my head saying it's not right.


Anonymous
07:03:03 PM

A friend of mine recently told me about a car accident he was involved in. The girl he loved died. She insisted on sitting the front seat of their friend's car on their way out somewhere. The friend had had a bit too much to drink and when he crashed, she went flying out the car. They had been dating for 5 years and were engaged. My friend ended up having to get a blood transfusion after the accident. He was given some bad blood and now has full blown AIDs. His parents know none of this. His parent's hated hers and they don't even know she's dead, much less anything about the AIDs or their plan to get married. He doesn't what to tell them because his parents are both in bad health and he thinks springing this on them might send his dad into a literal heart attack. He also just found out that is girlfriend he's been seeing is really bipolar and she's suicidal this week. He was planning on breaking up with her. He already feels responcible for one life and he doesn't want to feel that way about another. I know this all sounds too full of drama to be a real life story but it is. If you could see the way he deals with things, you'd cry. He's so outwardly detatched from what's going around him. He's also been cutting himself and who knows what else. I don't know what to say to him. I guess listening is enough but what if he does die? He was the boy who help me find God again. I owe him so much. I don't know if I could live without him at this point. If anyone knows anything I could do without telling someone, please tell me. I feel helpless.


Anonymous
01:14:06 AM

Friday, August 04, 2006

Schedules are on SPAN!

And mine's right! It's senior year, a good time for a first, I suppose...


Anonymous
09:20:29 AM

Thursday, August 03, 2006

For the past thirty minutes, I've been fighting the urge to call him and ask him over for dinner with my family. I think he'd be a bit weirded out by it, but I really just want him around.


Anonymous
05:18:37 PM

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Everyone who is playing is going to hate me for this, but i get so much pleasure from doing it.

I lost!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous
01:41:17 AM

is it just me or....
does it seem like time goes by faster as we all grow older...?
maybe i'm going crazy.


Anonymous
12:14:14 AM

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I don't believe in God. When I lead others in prayer I feel like I'm lying, but when I pray on my own I'm sincerely giving thanks. Faith shouldn't be this screwed up.


Anonymous
9:51:07 PM

schedules go up on span the 4th.

and everyone should THEORETICALLY be getting new passwords around that time.

who even knows.


Anonymous
09:07:29 PM

this has probably been the best week of my life. and sadly, it's because i've been cheating on my boyfriend with a really great guy.


Anonymous
06:24:07 PM

I'm really tired of waking up alone and horny. It's ridiculous.


Anonymous
06:40:13 AM

I love that we're playing this game again. I missed it.

I missed you.


Anonymous
01:59:39 AM