Tuesday, January 04, 2011

I have been in limerence over one person or another for almost eight years straight. I've managed to keep it mostly under wraps, with exceptions regarding the close friends in whom I confide. But recently I've found myself dropping thinly-veiled (or not veiled at all) hints among everyone -- friends, acquaintances, even some strangers. Like Patrick Bateman, I feel my "mask of sanity" slipping. I hope that expressing my troubles here will help channel my frustration away from the areas of my life where it could irreparably damage my interpersonal relationships.

Being a limerent hurts. So much so, that any attempt to explain it is nearly futile -- especially for someone with my limited literary abilities. I shall thus resort to expletives in an attempt to get my point across, to vent:

Limerence sucks. It hurts so GODDAMN much, especially on Christmas -- and ESPECIALLY when I realize how illogical, pathetic, and downright stupid this whole thing is. I can tell how happy they are together and that there's no way in HELL things could work out the way I think I want them to. And I DON'T WANT MY HAPPINESS TO BE DEPENDENT UPON ANOTHER PERSON. I'm ashamed at my lack of self-control.

I just want this whole mess to end. I want to GROW THE FUCK UP and to move on with my life.

03:06:00 PM