I have been in limerence over one person or another for almost eight years straight. I've managed to keep it mostly under wraps, with exceptions regarding the close friends in whom I confide. But recently I've found myself dropping thinly-veiled (or not veiled at all) hints among everyone -- friends, acquaintances, even some strangers. Like Patrick Bateman, I feel my "mask of sanity" slipping. I hope that expressing my troubles here will help channel my frustration away from the areas of my life where it could irreparably damage my interpersonal relationships.

Being a limerent hurts. So much so, that any attempt to explain it is nearly futile -- especially for someone with my limited literary abilities. I shall thus resort to expletives in an attempt to get my point across, to vent:

Limerence sucks. It hurts so GODDAMN much, especially on Christmas -- and ESPECIALLY when I realize how illogical, pathetic, and downright stupid this whole thing is. I can tell how happy they are together and that there's no way in HELL things could work out the way I think I want them to. And I DON'T WANT MY HAPPINESS TO BE DEPENDENT UPON ANOTHER PERSON. I'm ashamed at my lack of self-control.

I just want this whole mess to end. I want to GROW THE FUCK UP and to move on with my life.


Anonymous
03:06:00 PM
12/28/2010

I don't know how to initiate kisses.


Anonymous
04:03:00 AM
9/18/2009

Ladies: The first several times you had sex, was it bad? Did you feel anything pleasurable? Did it kind of hurt? Did it take you a long time to figure out how to make anything feel good down there?

Please don't let me be the only one experiencing this. I already feel so alone.


Anonymous
12:53:00 AM
7/08/2009

I ended high school with almost zero friends. I burned most of my bridges and I haven't looked back and I am currently the happiest I've ever been. My new friends actually care about me. My boyfriend loves me 100% and I've never experienced this close of a bond before. I had problems with drugs, yeah, and that's why most of my friends gave up on me and I've overcome. I know most of them don't read this and I know some of them still do and I don't even give a fuck if they know who they are or not. I'm happy. I'm fucking happy. I beat drugs and I beat the losers who gave up on me. Just sharing the love and I guess self-flagellating a little bit. Feels good.


Anonymous
12:12:00 AM
12/23/2008

Seriously. Learn to take care of yourself. Stand up by yourself, learn how to take care of yourself, learn to take emotional responsibility of yourself. I'm sick of wiping you off the floor when you make it so easy for you to end up there. Be proactive about finding solutions to your problems, don't just schlep yourself around in a funk. no one wants to be around that, no matter how much we love you.


Anonymous
11:56:00 PM
12/22/2008

I've been horny for a few weeks now and I decided to give masturbating a try.
I've tried at least 10 times now and I still haven't had an orgasm. I've read up to see what objects I might use and tried a few(pen,pencil,hairbrush,etc.)
And I'm getting pretty frustrated at this point. any suggestions or ideas? anyone?


Anonymous
01:24:00 PM
8/10/2008

holy shit I just figured out how sex is supposed to work and it is AWESOME now!

that's all.


Anonymous
12:45 AM
07/20/08

i'm so tired of being unattractive. i think a boy likes me and then i realize, wait, he wouldn't like you. i don't want to think that anymore.

it would help though if you asked me out sometime.

i mean, i can actually see if you're calling now since i can see the screen of my phone.

so really, there's no excuse except for that unattractiveness. but do you really see me the way i see me?


Anonymous
05:46:00 PM

i did a stupid stupid thing and now i'll have to live life knowing i'll never be good enough for anyone. this is the only reason i can understand us never working out. because all the other reasons were stupid.


Anonymous
06:43:00 PM

Die shoulder pimple! Die!


Anonymous
12:08:00 AM

i want her. and him. and i want them to want me.

and i want me to want me. except not be self centered or asexual or anything.

wow i sound fucking stupid.


Anonymous
11:05:00 PM

I'm failing Calc BC.
I have never been failing a class in my life.

This would probably be a good time to pull it together. If anyone wants to tutor me during 5th lunch or after school, I'd really appreciate it. Or if you know someone who would, let me know.

Masturbating is actually helping my sex life.


Anonymous
07:10:00 PM

I've realized just how much I dislike people who are like myself. I find traits in others that I have, and find them annoying to say the least. The person who takes on that condescending tone when they are talking about something they believe they know most about. The person who talks (a lot)about how their parents get mad over the most trivial of things. The person who speaks loudly with their friends in the hall and acts crazy while thinking that people around them will think she's cool for it (I can't explain why I do it). The person who puts up certain away messages in the hopes that a particular person will ask her about it.

I have to change these things about myself.


Anonymous
06:38:00 PM

my emotions are far too easily swayed by something so simple as a facebook post. perhaps i should be more solid.


Anonymous
03:52:00 PM

right now i just don't think i can balance everything, and my friends are all bothering me, or more like i'm bothering them.

so i'm studying, sleeping, running, reading, doing anything to not focus on other people.

self centered maybe, but probably good up to a point.

oh and i should do the laundry, but i just can't get motivated ya know? (that last part is just to try and get the laundry angst tag)


Anonymous
02:27:00 AM

How does one measure intelligence?

I think that I am reasonably intelligent, but not very smart. Or the other way around, as I can't remember which is which.

It bothers me, often, that I have so much trouble formulating opinions on things. Is it through ignorance, which is bad in itself, or simply because I am bad at thinking for myself? Neither is a good thing, though I'd say that the second is almost worse than the first. Ignorance can be more easily corrected.

I am good at learning things. I am good at learning concepts and abstract ideas, and fairly good at picking up information. But I am terrible at knowing some of the most obvious, current things and am terrible at holding strong opinions on most things.

I want to figure out why, so that I can try and fix it, try and repair the damage if it is not too late. I also want to be less ignorant of current affairs and events that I should know. I want to become more globally minded.

But the trouble is, I don't know how, or where to start.

How does one go about learning to really think for themself?

All of the things that I have learned will not do me any good if I can't even use them properly.


Anonymous
09:47:52 PM

I failed today.
But there is nothing I can do about it now except learn from it.


Anonymous
02:56:07 PM

i'm quiet. and catholic. and apparently these two factors are enough to convince everyone who doesn't know me really really well that i am a goody-goody and never do anything wrong. in fact, some people seem to find it necessary to censore themselves around me. i hate it. it's not like i've never heard "the f word" (or said it myself) and i definitely don't hate people that use it. i'm not perfect, and i don't want to be ostracized from the rest of high school society because i have "higher moral values" or something, but i don't know how to change my image without changing myself in the process.


Anonymous
09:10:08 PM

end, day, end.
end, week, end.
I'm always asking for ends these days. Maybe it's time for a beginning.


Anonymous
08:21:55 PM