Vagino-centric chivalry pisses me off big time.
There are millions of girls out there that expect doors to be opened, chairs to be pulled back, and hats to be tipped in their direction with them doing absolutely nothing in return. Maybe that made sense back when women couldn't have jobs, drive cars, or lift heavy objects because of their corsets, but nowadays it's a moot point. Equality is a two way steet. You can't have it both ways.
I open doors for people when I see them coming behind me as a rule, but the only way I'm going to run to open doors for every girl I see is if strange women are also running to bake me cookies and hem my pants.
Anonymous
01:48:08 PM
22 comments:
Ah, but see, nowadays, girls tend to laugh in the face of chivalry. As a guy, I see that as breaking the rules. We're there to pay for dinner, open doors, tips hats, etc. It's what we do. It's common courtesy towards, pardon the expression, the weaker sex.
I am a firm believer in chivalry, and if it'll get me laid any faster, good for me.
mmmmmm, cookies.
But seriously, chivalry is just common courtesy these days. I generally do it without thinking, it's just good manners.
That said
When things are done for you they should not be taken for granted. There should be pleases and thank yous for superfluous things that are done for you.
If someone expects it without their end of the bargain or demands it of you, well then they're just being douchecocks and deserve nothing.
I'm astounded any time that I'm graced with an act of chivalry. Sure, it's unnecessary, but it's so courteous and respectful-- something that you generally don't see in this modern world. It's refreshing, to say the least.
I think chivalry is silly and romantic, but I'm often polite to everyone. Opening doors for anyone, paying for someone's meal, respectful greetings, it's the way I was raised, and not just for girls.
Nice is nice :D
OP: Alas I'm headed out now for dinner for winter fomal and yes...I will be paying for dinner.
I think it's ridiculously sweet-- not when the guy is rushing to open every single door for you, or what have you, but the little things-- it makes a difference. I notice it anyway. Some random guy opened the door for me yesterday, and it made me smile. *Shrugs*
I firmly agree with tintedfragipan. Manners are lost today in this self-centered society we dwell in. Guys: be chivalrous because, sadly these days, it never hurts to go against the norm.
-Guys- be chivalrous?! That's just the problem. Why does the burden of common courtesy only fall on the male gender? Hippocrisy I say, hippocrisy.
What the hell is hippocrisy?
Hypocrisy conducted by large water mammals...duh.
I do practice common courtesy. The burden of that doesn't fall on the male gender, but it's noticed more by females when males do that, I think.
Why does chivalry fall on us? Why does wearing dresses fall on women?
It's just the way society works, but like I said, it really shouldn't be taken for granted and should be seen as the favor it is.
Plus, I just get a really weird feeling when a girl opens a door for me. Now, I'm not talking they opened the door and then hold it so you can grab it, everyone should do that for everyone. I'm talking the sort of chivalrous butler opening the door and letting you through without any effort on your part (just to clear up what I think is "door opening" in the chivalrous sense). When they open it for me they're taking away that duty you should of done for them...I don't know if that makes sense.
I also get a similar feeling when girls pay for the whole thing. Now splitting the bill, that's perfectly fine, we each get what we want and pay for ourselves, but somehow, if I have money (if I'm a tad broke well then it's perfectly fine) I generally like to pay for at least my share of things.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that girls like being taken care of a guys like being providers. One of us isn't necessarily better at it than the other. Evolution just gives us a warm fuzzy feeling when we play our roles correctly.
Hm, because nobody did it before:
I presume by "hippocrisy," the 5th and 6th previous anonymous commenters meant
hypocrisy ;-)
Other than that, I'm not sure I have anything to add. My points have already been stated by several anonymous posters.
Thankee kindly dear ladies and gents.
so why does child birthing fall on us then?
THAT'S RIGHT
And why do WE have to propose and buy the rings??
You DON'T. That's the thing- it's just been done for so long that it's expected now.
Times are a-changin. It is no longer unladylike to ask a boy out on a date- it's actually looked at as a sign of awesomeness (and it's fun to do :D. Girl just don't do it much because we aren't expected to.
I guess chivalry is just expected. Which is pretty sad.
when a guy opens the door for me I think he's the sweetest person in the world.
and if a guy opened the door for me and was always courteous like that he would definitely be getting some cookies if he wanted them. maybe even more then cookies.
Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man —
Stan: Or woman.
Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan? You're putting us off.
Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
Stan: I want to be one.
Reg, Francis: What?
Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me "Loretta".
Reg: Wha'?
Stan: It's my right as a man.
Judith: Well,why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But... you can't have babies.
Stan: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan, you haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
[Stan/Loretta starts to cry.]
Judith: Here! I-I've got an idea. Suppose that you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb — which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' — but that he can have the right to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry.
Reg: Wh-what's the point?
Francis: Wha'?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.
A million points sir. A million!
Hm... as an individual of the female persuasion myself, I must say that random acts of chivalry make me feel awkward. I agree with the OP. I didn't do anything for you, why are you opening the door for me? Granted, when my boyfriend opens a door for me, it's sweet- but that's because we're together and I *have* done something for him to merit the chivalry. Just other guys, like friends or accquaintances? Not the same feeling.
I suppose it doesn't matter much; chivalry is nice, but not neccessary. If you don't throw your jacket over every puddle that every random woman walks past, I don't think anyone will call you a beast.
oh man, I forgot about the jacket on the puddle. That's a chance for some ultimate browny points.
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