Hey, what happened to your facebook group? I tried to join, but you link leads to a 'no matches' page.
The Watcher
06:42:26 PM
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
i have an amazingly strong crush on you. but you dont know it, and are uninterested in me. we are good friends, and getting better, but i know that a relationship between us wont ever happen. i need to stop being so damn attracted to you, even though you are amazing. cant shake the emotions, maybe i should avoid you a bit more again..it helped last time
Anonymous
10:15:13 PM
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
i hate boys who are too dumb to go for the good thing right in front of them.
and i hate girls who are so manipulative of their friends that they don't let go of the guy even if the something could make him happier than he is with her... just as a friend.
and i hate that i don't know if i even like him that much.
Anonymous
10:55:35 PM
Monday, November 27, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I can't respect my brother's new "religion." Some guy invented it on the web while he was tripping on acid. They worship a cockroach.
It makes me so fucking mad that he treats it like some kind of cult of ultimate wisdom, just to rub it in to my parents that he's not a Christian any more.
I know I'm supposed to be tolerant, but the whole fucking thing sickens me. "Principia Discordia" my ass.
Anonymous
08:56:46 PM
I keep having this nightmare that I'm a combination of Arnold Schwarzenegger from Total Recall and Kurt Russell from A Beautiful Mind. Except, that it is completely overwhelming.
My dreams get to point where, in my dream, i stab out my eyes to avoid dellusions but that i start feeling things on my hands too. Its crazy.
God Damn You Descarte.
Anonymous
08:10:41 PM
I see things. Things crawling and grabbing at me. I can feel the pain they cause me but it crawls instead of stings. I know these things are not real. I know with every last bit of my brain they are not really there. But it doesn't really matter whether they are real or not when they are after me.
So tell me, people of tangst who have taken a psychology course and/or have access to wikipedia, what level of delusion must I reach before I count as delusional?
Anonymous
01:24:11 AM
I'm very annoyed right now because I was out tonight and I asked my sister to switch my laundry and she didn't so now I have to stay up late to finish my laundry and I'm very tired.
That's all really. I hope everyone had a lovely break.
Queen Sekaf
12:01:56 AM
Saturday, November 25, 2006
i think the worst part of everything is waiting.
really, is it that hard to pick up your phone and call someone? no.
is it really that hard to say what's on your mind? maybe, but it's not like it's anything dire--just SAY it, goddammit, why do we all play such foolish games of cat-and-mouse?
why can't people bloody say what they're feeling?
Anonymous
11:27:41 PM
Friday, November 24, 2006
Everyone is always bitching to me about their problems. They always tell me that I give such great advice for their burgeoning love lives, etc. (which is ironic considering the extent of mine, but whatever)
Then I end up telling people. Then people get mad at me.
Secrets, secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone.
These are dumb high school romance secrets. Most of what I say isn't even current anymore. Why the hell does it matter to these people?
Urgh. I realize the way I word this here, I look like the bad guy. And maybe I am. But sometimes I just want to strangle these people when they make mountains out of molehills.
Anonymous
07:31:45 PM
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
i know that i'm supposed to be doing the whole "hard to get" deal, but is it just me or is it really HARD?!
i don't want to come off as desperate. i sent him a text last night--no response. another text today--no response. i just want to call him and talk to him... but i know i shouldn't.
dammit, you know how they say that it's okay for girls to make the first move? well what happens when you HAVE made the first move...?
i do think he likes me, though.
Anonymous
10:18:38 PM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
I love that you're happy. Of all the moods I've seen you in, it's by far my favorite. Remember the days when I would try my hardest to see you like this. I drained myself in the process. I was so light and free, full of love for everything. It's not fair. You sucked me dry with your logic. I'm suppost to be the one everything is working out for, not you. I'm jealous.
Anonymous
06:11:22 PM
Sunday, November 19, 2006
It is really depressing to realize that I don't know anyone who goes to my old school anymore. If I go back to visit, I would walk around aimlessly, with no one to meet. All I would see is how much the school has changed, but that would only make me more sad. I still want to go back and visit though.
Anonymous
08:21:35 PM
i feel like a sellout. i told them everything you said, and it got back to the person who you care about most.
but i didn't mean for it to work out that way, even though it was stupid of me not to think it would.
but even though you aren't mad, we don't talk anymore.
but i know i brought this on myself, and even though i apologized, i know that this is how it's going to work out. and i'll just have to live with that.
Anonymous
01:41:10 AM
Saturday, November 18, 2006
a paradoy of batboy... names have been changed for keeping the identities of these people safe
Becky: How could you tell me you loved me, when you knew it not to be true?
Christopher: How can you say that? I loved you! Can’t you see it in your soul?
Becky: A soul? Is that what you call it,
that empty pit, that wound where my heart should be?
You dug this hole in me bit by bit, nothing is left of me!
Give me one reason why I should stay.
See, you have no reply.
The world is gay or straight, but I am both or neither.
So goodbye!
Julianne: I'm sorry, Becky, really am.
Sorry to hear your life's a sham.
Still, it doesn't have to end this way!
So ask him out and don't be cute.
College—almost here. Don’t be a fruit!
Do it now, no one cries today.
GROUP: Don’t let it reoccur, why do you pity her?
Look at the options- why don't you stop her!
What kinda girl are you?
What are you gonna do?
We oughtta stop you too!
Why don't you stop her!
GET HER! GET HER!
Becky: Don't deny the obvious- such a bad girlfriend.
Everywhere you put me, look what I can’t mend!
(Becky stands on the edge of the platforms in front of the audience)
GROUP: Push her! Stop her! Jesus, Ashley!
Stop her! Push her! Push her! Do it!
Becky: Why don’t you just tell him, and let me release.
If you're not a coward, give me peace.
GROUP: It’s killing you bit by bit, why do you pity it?
Can’t take an upheaval-- God, you're both evil!
What kinda girl are you?
What are you gonna do?
Ashley, he wants you too!
Push her or we will!
(Ashley moves to push Becky off the platforms into the audience, but
can’t do it.)
Becky: Coward.
Ashley: I'm sorry.
Becky: You know...
One thing alone saved me from despair,
back when I was with Chris.
Adam: Becky...
Becky: Once in a while he would meet my stare.
Then I had nothing i would miss.
Adam: Becky, don't!
Becky: But surely his smile wasn't meant for me.
Adam: Becky no!
Becky: Easier to dismiss. But, tonight he kissed me, here.
(General gasp)
Becky: Tonight he gave me this. (She takes out Adams’s pants)
Group: Huh?
Becky: I smell his old spice and his sweat...
Ashley: Oh my God...
Group: Jesus!
Becky: Look what a gift he gave me- (Takes out condom)
Ashley: Is it true?
Becky: Almost enough to save me.
Adam: Yes!
Becky: And I imagine you're upset...
Ashley: Oh my God!
Becky: But I would sleep with him again!
Group: Stop her! Slap her!
Becky: And do you know what he did then?
Group: Stop!
Becky: He offered me his pain.
Group: No!
Becky: He offered me his love!
Group: God!
Becky: He offered me everything!
(Ashley runs to strangle Becky. Christopher stops her.)
Ashley: Christopher, I'm sorry. All of this is me.
Chris: Ashley, please.
Ashley: (overlapping)
I can't bear to look at you. She are all I see.
Her eyes, Chris, its in her eyes.
It hurts too much to put behind me... the way I lost you.
Chris: (overlapping)
Ashley, don't.
Please, oh Ashley, don't deny the obvious, leave the past behind.
We can start again, love. We have both been blind.
Julianne: Becky, damn you... Becky, you dirty horror...
Chris: Ashley, I forgive you. I know, my love, I know.
Ashley: And every day her eyes remind me.
Group: Slut! Slut! Slut!
Chris: Ashley, come here. Ashley, let it go!
hahah... the rest would spoil the end. oh well. guess you'll have to come see the real show before i post the next part.
Anonymous
07:51:55 PM
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
its been a while, and nothing ever happend in the first place. im supposed to be over this whole thing, yet its getting to the point where i cant look in peoples profiles because its a quote from her. i dont listen to certain music because it reminds me of her. i have delayed or hurried walking routines between classes so i dont have to see the other guy. not talk to him. just see him.
im not supposed to feel this way. why do i have such a problem with moving on (even if nothing happened)
Anonymous
11:23:04 PM
I've told both of them that I like him and asked them both to stop flirting with him.
They won't stop and they say they aren't flirting but they are constantly all over him and I'm jealous and I shouldn't be
They're a junior and a sophmore and he spends lunch with me everyday almost. I just wish I knew how he felt
Anonymous
10:33:35 PM
I'm so fucking tired of not doing as well as i should be. Even if I buck up and actually study my ass off this year I feel like it won't do any good.
I hate that fucking bitch. She can't teach and she acts like she knows everything when, in all actuality, she uses the powerpoints prepared by the AP people and answers "you know, I don't know" to every single question we ask. She thinks she's doing us all a bunch of big favors but she doesn't teach us a goddamned thing. And I'm totally sucking it up in that class right now.
Fucking a.
Anonymous
10:22:10 PM
I have no right to post here. I haven't lost a sister, a brother, a father, or a mother. I've never seen a death. I've never tried to kill myself. The worst thing I've ever done happened tonight when I left home for two hours during an argument with mom. I have no right to post here, but my post is still welcome. Thank you tangst for requiring no excuses.
Anonymous
03:30:37 AM
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I am an attractive person. I get a lot of attention from good-looking boys, and people always tell me I'm pretty. I never have problems finding someone who whose interested me.
Recently (say in the past year), I've noticed that I'm attracted to plenty of guys who just...aren't attractive. Some of them are actually ugly. I just think they are so funny, smart, or interesting that well..I'm into them. I'll occasionally mention it to another girl, and it's usually met with a repsonse like "are you crazy? he's really ugly!" and I'll be thinking "well yes he is, but it somehow doesn't matter".
Is this normal? Does anyone else find themselves attracted to people they know are not actually attractive? I can't seem to figure it out.
Anonymous
09:07:57 PM
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
so... yelling at a girl in response to them telling the boy they like them... that means they don't like the girl? or that they're just an ass?
especially when it happened to be like this:
1: i was scared to tell you.
2: you shouldn't be scared.
1: you just looked so happy-- (cut off)
2: WE ARE HAPPY! WE ARE SOOOOO HAPPY! (yelling at the top of his lungs)
Anonymous
10:09:43 PM
Monday, November 13, 2006
i'm diggin' on him and it's really cool because for the first time ever, i'm really chill about it: if it works out, alllllright, but if not... meh, it's cool too. i think he's into me as well.
i really hope this works out, or else i'll have to swear off feminine intuition for the rest of my life.
advice for nabbing my first man?
Anonymous
11:23:34 PM
Sunday, November 12, 2006
There's pain there, where my heart is. was. broken into a million tiny pieces. It hurts so bad.
He likes her. He does. He just confessed to us.
I'm heartbroken. I never understood the term before, but I do now. I have to go to school tomorrow, and see them joking and laughing together. I don't know if I can face it. After so much hoping, talking to him again will be like stabbing myself.
And he'll be gone soon, to some college far away, never knowing. And I'll be trapped here, where the memory of his smile haunts my steps, and the ghostly laughter fills empty classrooms. And I'll on my own. Again. Abandoned by those I loved best.
I'm crying on my keyboard...
I love you.
Anonymous
11:57:10 PM
i go and freaking work my ass off everyday 2 hours everyday and spend 5 hours of my saturday at your studio. then you cast the dance everyone in the company is supposed to be in and you leave me out of it? what the FUCK? DO i suck that much? because if I do please tell me now so i dont continue waisting my time.
so then I have to friggen walk into the studio again and pretend like i dont care. its just one dance. who gives a shit? EVERYONE gives a shit. and look at everyone while they smile and pity you and lie continuously and they say oh its no big deal....i wish i werent in it so i wouldnt have to go to rehersal. and its so akward and its your friends pitying you like that and they have no fucking idea what its like. and they really don't care fucking care ata ll. all thats going through their minds is....I'm glad I'm not her.
Anonymous
10:31:11 PM
To quote someone i know "If I didn't believe in love i'd just die."
It's true. If i didn't believe in love at first sight, love forever and always, i don't know what i'd do with myself. no matter how stupid boys are being, or how horrible my friends are to me i know that.
no matter how much i curse love and the gods for hating me so much, i know deep in my heart that if i didn't believe there would be no point anymore. i would just die.
so... thank you person for saying that. i didn't think there was anyone else who felt that way. and i hadn't told you how much i value your friendship... even when you can't console me over the phone. haha.
too bad it hurts so much.
Anonymous
10:20:27 PM
I'm really tired of explaining myself.
Tonight my mom threw a dinner party and I had to babysit (for free, mind you) ten snotty nosed brats who kept spilling and screaming and running around... and basically being pain in the asses.
I realized i turned into the girl that everyone hates at dinner parties. I was the bitch; i kept yelling at the little kids to just shut the fuck up (not in those words but i certainly thought it several times). I felt really bad, but I didn't know what else to do.
and then one of the older, brattier ones said: "wow, you look dead, and like crap."
well thanks, you stupid seventh grade slut. i feel like shit, and it's YOUR fault, so it makes it totally okay for you to insult ME.
you know what? fuck it; i'm going to be the bitch that everyone hates, and i'm going to be moody and grouchy at random times (no, not because i'm PMSing either), and i'm NOT going to explain myself.
because i don't have to.
Anonymous
01:36:33 AM
Saturday, November 11, 2006
I just spent a lot of time and effort to install Yahoo Messenger on my computer.
I hate Yahoo and never wanted to get Yahoo Messenger. I did it to stalk someone.
Then I find out that to add someone to your friends list they have to approve you. So much for stalking her.
I feel like a loser.
Anonymous
12:21:06 AM
Thursday, November 09, 2006
A year ago, I thought you were a great friend, but as I spend more and more time with you, the more annoyed I get.
You are a black hole, sucking all the attention from anyone else. Jealous of the stars for their light, you steal their glory away into your abyss. You seem so imense, because your gravity is so awesome. But behind this charade, your matter is small and dense.
You've been hurt, I realize this, but do not think that simply because you were hurt that you deserve honor. Their is no honor in pity, and seeking pity will only leave you with a sickly-sweet, but brief feeling of importance. But the high you get is addictive, and since it is easily obtained, you prefer this drug over honest work for respect.
You are a salesman who talks too much, hopefull to sell us something. And we listen for a time mesmirized, not because of your product or eloquence (for in truth, you lack both) but because of the natural gifts (not earned) of a powerful voice and a pretty smile.
You want to be everyone and everything, but you spread yourself too thin. And when others best you, your defences rise to obvious hights.
Your have many who care for you, but few that you care for when they leave your sight, and thus your mind. Always looking for an ear to hear you, but never offering one to a friend in need -perhaps more need than you.
You create drama, and molehills become the Alps under your eyes, so you claim the worm is a snake and must be killed.
Or else, when bored or when your spirits are low, you slander others over imagined insults and unfounded suspicions.
Worried about your own status (though you need not be, since your friends would love you no matter what) you consantly seek the shadows for the eyes you know can look in your very soul.
But you will not find them there, for they lie in the shadow of your heart, which you can barely stand to look at for the shame you know that it would give you.
Anonymous
09:51:38 PM
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Ok well here goes.
So I really liked this girl for like 2 years. Finally ask her out. Go out for 7 months then she dumps me. That's all fine and shit if you want to do that to me it's your right to break up. But at least have the fucking honor to do it to my face not in a fucking email. Then on top of that hurt me worse by getting a new guy within 3 fucking weeks. Alright now you want to act like everything is ok. Well guess what honey, their is a reason why I cant look at one side of the room. And why I leave any possible chance I get. Truly I don't really know why i'm still mad. I cant stay mad at anyone, other than my family, for more than 10 minutes so if I'm still fucking mad at you it must be for a reason. I don't think I've ever felt this angry, sad and just fucking betrayed before. I guess it's got a lot to do with me being angry at myself for letting myself care that much about you and on top of that thinking that you might actually have ever cared about me. The only problem here with the above portrait of anger is that I still feel the exact fucking way about you as I did when we were going out and that pisses me off more than anyone could possibly comprehend.
See yuh
Anonymous
10:02:03 PM
last night i stayed up talking 'til 2 am to a girl that i consider a really close friend of mine. she's so laid back that she is just friendly to everyone, and it's pretty cool because there's never any drama involved with her--we're just friends, that's it, we can hang out and laugh til we piss our pants but there's never any juicy steamy stuff (not between us anyway).
anyway so the past couple of weeks have been kind of weird, mostly because she's been really busy and stressed out, but i felt like i hadn't talked to her in ages; we're even in the same math class together. so we talked and talked and it was really good because we haven't just TALKED in ages.
i really like reconecting with old friends!
there wasn't any point to this, really, i just woke up from a nap (hey, sleeping at 2 am gets to ya) and i'm in the foggy stage when there is no way that i'll comprehend my spanish homework.
Anonymous
07:30:57 PM
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
he calls me every night. and most nights, i don't answer. and then the next night i make up an excuse about why i couldn't talk to him the night before. and i feel really bad about it. but the truth is, his clinginess is making me not want to talk to him. i don't know how to tell him this without sounding mean. i don't know if i even like him at all anymore. i wish it was like it was in the beginning.
Anonymous
09:34:13 PM
As much as you are overall an excellent friend and as much I do not want to overreact, it drives me absolutely fucking insane when you take my stuff. Please, I have tried to explain this in simple non-misinterpretable terms and it seems like you understand but then you do it again. Do I have to scream at you to get you to realize that I greatly dislike this?
Anonymous
12:15:08 AM
Monday, November 06, 2006
Words from my my mind:
"You deserve so much better than me... You deserve someone who could help you, someone who could be everything you need them to be and more... someone who could..."
I am Interrupted by Him.
"Could you Love me?"
"Because if you could love me than you'd be everything I need, and if you can love me than I'll fight to be everything for you as long as you'll let me, as long as I can."
~*~
When I learned that you could accept me for who I am, all my flaws and imperfections and everything that I have been and could be...
I fell. I fell so far into you I lost myself. I stopped worrying about you. I stopped thinking about the inadequacy of me.
FELL in LOVE with YOU.
To let go and not know if there's going to be someone to catch me, not knowing if we're plummeting to some unknown disaster, or be like children digging to china, falling all the way to some foreign land...
Falling so far that you know longer know if you're falling or flying, floating away on a dream that is so beautiful that you think your heart will breat with the beauty of it.
Wrapped in your arms, laughing and crying with all the time we've lost and all we have to gain... You carried me from the couch to the bed and we dreapt while we were awake...
No dream could be as beautiful as you.
I know we don't know. I know every day you could be taken away from me and every moment with you is precious...
~*~
Words from my HEART:
"I don't think I couldn't love you"
And I couldn't.
Here is Love....
I know we're falling, and it's the greatest freedom I've ever known.
Anonymous
09:55:51 AM
Sunday, November 05, 2006
i did a stupid thing tonight. i've gone since august completely ignoring him... and i know he's seen me around school and i've definitely seen him...but we expressly ignored each other.
and then i saw him tonight.. and i looked so good... and i just wanted him to tell me.
anyway, he left and didn't even get to see my performance, but i talked to his family (they all love me). but then i sent him a text. it was so lame: "hey i saw you tonight and i wanted to say hi but didn't get the chance. Hi, and hope everything is going well."
well obviously he didn't respond and now i feel like the biggest fucking dumbass on the face of the planet.
Anonymous
12:46:33 AM
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
tonight we have the opening night of our school play, "The Laramie Project".
and guess what? Fred Phelps (reportedly) and his congregation, the Westboro Baptist Church from Kansas is coming... to picket us. They're picketing like 9 churches (just in time for all the masses) and then picketing outside our school Saturday night and the Sunday matinee show.
Basically, they just want to get a rise out of people so that they can get into an argument (hopefully a physical one) and the people can sue us. That's how they get their money to do this.
What the fuck must be going on their heads? "God hates fags"; "God hates Jews"; "the gays caused hurricane katrina"... seriously, i'd like to ask the guy what the fuck is wrong with him, and without giving him a chance to preach any more religious crap to me (i've been approached by jehovah's witnesses three times this week) ... i'd like to knock him out cold.
but at the same time, i kind of just want to have a conversation with him, and see if he was like beaten as a child or something, and if that's what caused his ridiculous ideology.
i really hope our school doesn't make a spectacle of itself... i hope we become models to how the rest of the nation should be. I hope no one starts a fight, or eggs him, or anything. i hope we get the strength to walk by coolly (maybe make a snarky comment or two), and just ignore that fucker until he just goes home.
Anonymous
04:55:15 PM
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
i've always been just one of the guys... only the guy's best friend, nothing more.
but lately a lot of guys have been paying attention to me and i don't know if i like it. especially since its not the guy i want to like me.
and all of them are starting to get jealous over me being friends with other guys. like suddenly i can't have ANY guy friends without there being something sexual there.
i can't go to a party and dance with one of my oldest guy friends, my first kiss, without some guy saying he's disappointed in how much i flirt with other guys.
i can't say someone looks hot with their new hair color and no glasses without someone saying i'm not paying them enough attention
GOD DAMN IT!! If you like me so much, why don't you just fucking ask me out and get it the hell over with!?!?
Anonymous
08:43:36 PM
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