4 exams down and 1 to go...
I am so scared to leave all of this, and most of all, I'm terrified to leave you.

Anonymous
12:28:00 PM
5/05/2009

When we snuck to the ridge it was harder to tell whether it was closer to dawn or dusk, and as tiny speakers played music without words you revealed a side of yourself that I had never seen. It was there, as you carefully explained the rotating constellations and in the way you held me, protectively, in your arms to keep me warm. I was happy to endure the teasing glances of our friends as i traced patterns on your cheek because I know they approve, and later as they slept, I curled myself into your chest and found myself in the place I most wanted to be.


Anonymous
1/14/2009
07:34:00 PM

For the first time I can remember, I really honestly, to the depth of my soul think it's all going to be alright.

Anonymous
05:41:00 PM

I love the fact that on a 12.5 hour drive to the most southern tip of this country I will come across about 350,000 cars. And in each of these cars there are people with just as many memories of how their cousins tormented them during those ageold family reunions in the middle of nowhere. With fears of the future coming forward and the past coming back. With allergies to pollen, cats, and assholes. With some opinions of religions, where Humanity is going, and how great an impact we have. I love the fact that its not all background noise. And the grit of growing up is fully romanticized (and justly so!).

I love the fact that "love" itself isn’t entirely bullshit. Sure, I hate how the word has lost a lot of its glory from being thrown around all the time, but the fact that the concept hasnt been swallowed up entirely gives me a bit of hope. I really hate tossing that word around though...when you say it, you should know the weight it carries. And if you do mean it, and know the weight it carries, say it to who deserves it...too often people forget...

I love those iconic things that people have. One of my close friends wears a beanie almost as often as he wears skin. My sister will always have a guitar in her hand and a grin on her face. My arch-nemesis has a cigg on his ear, plaid shorts on his legs, and douchebag rolling off his tongue at any given nanosecond. I have this map of New York about 1.5 feet from my keyboard right now...because one of these days this scene will cave in and smoke me out from NC, and put me in a car or (if summer pays well) on a plane to JFK. Hopefully I'll go with someone I hardly know, like one of those people on a 12.5 hour road trip. Or someone from college I know only through that ridiculously distancing head nod of acknowledgement that guys are famous for committing. Or maybe even you, whoever the hell you are, and whatever the hell you stand for/against.


I love the brutally honest. The "spill your guts" people. Mind games are a bitch for both sexes. The extent of my detective skills stops at mastering "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" on my computer in 4th grade, I cant decipher what your cat-and-mouse games mean. Too much communication is caught in redtape and caution. Though I'm being hypocritical, because I do it a lot, I get tired of playing verbal diplomacy like it was a card game. It seems sometimes you're sacrificing trust for personal safety. And it seems that the older you get, and the more convoluted your problems become, the more valuable trust gets. So for those of you who speak your mind, congrats, my red, ace-of-spades wielding Fedora is off to you.


Anonymous
11:46:00 AM

Looking back at old tangst posts...there are some I'm not sure if I wrote, or someone else did.

In a way, it's rather heartening...

It means the gaps between us all are necesarily all that insurmountable.


Anonymous
10:25:00 PM

I had a dream last night about you, all I did was hold you and comfort you but it was great.


Anonymous
10:01:00 PM

i get a warm feeling every time i hear the sound of your voice


Anonymous
09:35:00 PM

It feels kind of weird eating in a giant food court at a table by yourself, but it's quite enjoyable. Also shopping by yourself, walking around by yourself, and buying extremely cute shoes without the opinion of anyone else.

I ♥ me time. I reccomend it to everybody.


Anonymous
08:48:00 PM

Can't I keep my delusions just a little bit longer? They're so comforting.


Anonymous
09:04:54 PM

I haven't cut for over 3 months and I can't fight it anymore, I'm cutting tonight


Anonymous
09:32:43 PM

I'm strong. I'm smart. I'm independent. And I'm lonely. I want so badly for someone to come rescue me.


Anonymous
07:26:34 PM

Relaxing with my dog, playing on my computer, listening to music.

Feels like all I need.


Anonymous
06:37:46 PM

To quote The Parent Trap:
"You don't always have to be so brave."

Don't run from the ones who can help you.


Anonymous
10:55:17 PM

Thank you. For everything. Seriously. Everything.

It's such a comfort to know there's someone else like me. Someone that understands what I've been trying to explain to everyone else for all of my life. I am no longer alone.

P.S. I love you.


Anonymous
12:46:19 AM

So many times I go to write a comment to a post then think better of it and navigate away from the page without posting. even so, it makes me feel better. plus, i don't have the guilt of insulting someone or saying the wrong thing


Anonymous
08:58:40 PM

before you leave i wish you'd make it all up to me and show that you care


Anonymous
06:31:35 PM

I think a glass of cool, not cold water is the most comforting thing in the world.


Anonymous
11:30:50 PM

I sing to myself as a distraction to make myself feel better. I do it all the time. Like instead of dwelling on the fact that I got a horrible grade on a test, I just hum to myself on the way to my next class, as if not thinking about it will make the problem go away.


Anonymous
07:57:13 PM