i saw him today, and it freaked me the hell out. just last night i was thinking about him, how much i just want to say hi to him and even though i know we can never go back to the way it was--i've moved on from that, really-- i just want to be able to say hi and not have it be so fucking awkward. i just want to see how he's doing and not perk up like a fucking dog everytime i hear his name mentioned.
i saw him in the hallway today, i knew i was going to see him but i wasn't expecting him to be right there in front of me. on a day when i looked so stupid, too. and i mouthed "hi" and all he did was walk right by, staring right into my face and not a muscle moved and there was no recognition in his eyes... i felt dead.
and then, sick to my stomach, i walked around all day inwardly cursing myself for making such a grave, grave mistake.
i'm back to square one, and i'm the loser... again.
Anonymous
05:02:47 PM
6 comments:
Easy there, honey... the "dead" look he gave you today when you mouthed a simple salutation probably means nothing.
Why? Well... when walking down the hall, high school students "see" as in "don't run into that"... there is very little actual recognition. Fact.
Give it some time, and avoid the self-cursing. Or kick him to the curb (emotionally, that is) ;)
i wouldn't think about it, i mean that happens all the time. loads of times i'm walking down the hall and like acknowledge my friends and they just walk right by, and sometimes when i'm walking and one of my friends walk past me, like 3 seconds later i'm like "oh shoot i shulda said hi" or "oh shoot they said hi"
yea...you just like stare not even thinking and then when you pass them you feel like a dumbass because you didn't say anything to them.
don't worry about the look.
wow. it seems like my counterpart is writing this. that's how i felt when mine ended.
yea when im walking down the hallway im never actually focusing of whats at hand, most people are just on autopilot.
thanks guys, i understand what you're saying 100%, i do it all the time... but... he SAW me. he looked right at my face, into my eyes, and saw me say hi and just kept walking.
I suck.
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