Friday, October 27, 2006

I don't want a relationship. I'm not ready for one and I probably won't be for a while. But I still find myself longing for that sense of physical intimacy. I want the broad chest to rest my head against while I'm curled up in his arms. Shoulders to lean on and rest my head against. A person I can go to when I'm upset and will just hug me and not ask questions I can't answer. Someone who accepts I'm a mess, can deal with it, and not really care.

I know how unfair that entire situation would be, but I can't help wanting it. I'm ashamed that I feel this way because I always thought that I was better than this. Apparently not.


Anonymous
01:41:30 AM

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

me too

龙年 said...

Don't think so lowly of yourself. Aside from the relationship you've said you don't want, you could use a really good ("best") friend, or a good relationship with your parents.

Personally, I'd go for the "best friend" thing based on my own parents, but that's a decision you'd have to make. Either could satisfy the needs you've articulated.

If you find the right person, a good friend will get you want you want without arousing the stigma of the "unfair" situation you oppose.

PChis said...

That sounds like a relationship...where they do all the work.

Anonymous said...

Get a dog

Queen Sekaf said...

There's nothing to be ashamed of about longing for intimacy - it's a natural human desire.

Anonymous said...

hey man, i feel the same way!

i think what gets me by is taking pleasures in small things in life. going out of my way to step on a crunch leaf, eating ice cream, laughing as hard as possible... i know that sometimes they can't ever really compare, and those are the low points for me... but as for getting me through the day... well, they help me out for sure.

good luck op, don't feel bad about yourself, maybe it's time to find yourself a new pet or even a new best friend!