I'm going out tonight. I accidentally forgot about that and I ate. I ate like a fucking pig.
I can feel the butter oozing and dissipating throughout my body. Fat fat fat. It's unbearable. This supernova of oils and sugars about to explode through my veins. Intravenous death. It's just sitting there as I type this. It makes its presence known. I can feel it weighing my body to the ground. Just waiting to spread to my stomach. I need to get rid of it. Fast. Just like whenever I fuck up, I need a shower. I need to turn on the shower and the bathroom fan and rid my body of such injustice I've shown it.
It's the only way I'll have confidence enough to talk to you.
You're my inspiration, don't you feel special? <3
Anonymous
05:07:04 PM
12 comments:
I seriously doubt I am your inspiration, however, assuming that I was, I would no longer want to be it. If I made you feel like that....suffice it to say, I would want you to stop.
You need some self-confidence. Most people don't look very different after one day of pigging out. If you really feel that bad you should go run or swim or get some sort of excersize. I'm sure it will make you feel better. Not only phisically but mentally too.
i know who this is. please, don't do this to yourself. no matter what, you'll be gorgeous. i hate knowing you're hurting yourself and i can't do anything about it. and i know HE wouldn't want you to do this either. remember, we all love you Exactly How You Are. you don't need to be anything else.
it's probably too late but i don't care. i want you to know that i'm worried about you.
How in the name of all that is good in this world do you know who I am, anon1? I admire your ability to observe if you've guessed right, though I've been able to hide my problem severely well.
Is it really me, or do you just want it to be?
I think that people who do this actually rationalize it. You are taking it to the level of obsession. You would be explaining it away, not elevating it to the level of poetry.
Overall, I give it a 4.5/10 on the 10-point tangst rating scale. The shower thing got you the most points, because the analogy was poignant, but overall it was a tad too melodramatic and trite.
Good try?
How can you evaluate somebody's secret as if it were an ice-dancing competition? Tinted, I used to have respect for you.
As for the OP, well... it sounds like you threw up. As a former bulimic, I can say this: DON'T. It's senseless, useless, and detrimental to your health. Not to mention self-esteem.
While on the topic of self-esteen, I'd like to add - you need some. One of these people obviously knows you, I know they think you're beautiful. Please stop.
"Overall, I give it a 4.5/10 on the 10-point tangst rating scale."
Seriously tinted, balls to you. Trivializing people's problems, is the exact opposite of what we're trying to do here, remember?
i think tinted took the center section of the post as an attempt at rambling angsty teen poetry. at least, his response makes sense if you think of it that way.
This reminds me so much of my former self. I'm so scared for you, op. I know how it feels. I know that amazing need to do that. I have no words that could possibly describe how happy I was to get rid of it. I know you don't want to, and I'm not telling you that you need to. I could have written this a couple of months ago. Because beauty is confidence, right? And to you (formerly us) confidence is power, and power is bulimia. I know who you are, but not who you actually are (as in name, etc). It is a part of you. There is nothing we can do.
From expirience, Tinted- You're wrong. That wasn't poetry, that is the exact train of thought of the OP. Not even joking. She probably wasn't trying to be poetic.
My point wasn't really that it's bad poetry, but rather bad biology and sociology.
The OP was ignoring several basic truths about the functions of both the body and the social mind when she wrote her post. For instance, if you are overeating, then yes, excessive fat and sugars can be bad for you. And if you aren't exercising, then these things are stagnating in your body. But if you are vomiting or severely limiting your fat intake, then you're missing essential chemical structures that store a lot of energy and compose cell walls. Your body begins to break down muscles and bones, so that your cells can continue to function. Delicious-- self-cannibalism.
And, obviously, this person thinks you need something besides a functioning set of vocal chords to speak with someone else. That's not rational either. You don't need anyone else, and consequently you don't have to care what anyone else thinks about you.
I really hated this post and the poster because it made so many flawed assumptions. That's what I was responding to.
I can still hate irrational people?
Sorry for responding like woah, but I really cannot see what the big deal is.
I think eating disorders are tragic. I hope people with eating disorders don't die.
I still didn't like this post. Get over it? Maybe? I don't even know.
Sure we get a little sick and tired of all the people who try and solve their problems with self destructive behavior, but we have to treat them all individually and seriously just like any other person with a disease or disorder. You don't judge or alienate some with paranoia or depression for being irrational do you?
To get better they need treatment but above all understanding. Leave that first part to parents and doctors but support and understanding is our territory and we'll do anything we can op.
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