I don't want to be anorexic again.
I really don't want to.
But I just can't help it.
Anonymous
07:59:57 PM
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6 comments:
I used to be bulimic, but I still get that "Yay!!" feeling in my stomach whenever I'm forced to skip a meal or when I wake up in the morning and my stomach is flat. In fact- I read an Anorexia mantra the other day that's been echoing in my head since.
A flat stomach is nice
But a concave one is nicer
I don't throw up anymore or deliberately starve. I eat regularly and am perfectly fine with my weight (appearance is a different matter, but we all have insecurities) but I will always have those scars in my mind. I don't think they'll ever go away.
There's times where I wish I could go back so badly, but I think of how it tore me apart and how well I'm doing. My last relapse was a couple months ago, and I haven't really felt an urge to binge and purge since.
You can do it too <3
I don't want to be suicidal again.
And after what happened this morning, I know I never will be. After being reminded of what I tried to do, I realize now how stupid and pointless it would have been. It scared me, remembering I was once like that. I had trouble going to sleep.
I talked to a friend about it a couple hours ago. About how yes, it was terrible to be reminded, but look at how the reminder reinforces my resolve. How the high contrast between what I was like then and how I am now changes my perspective. How everything is finally going right.
I don't want to be suicidal again. I will not be suicidal again. I am happy. I am free.
You were so strong.
What happened?
I'm going to miss the old you.
Anon3, how do you know that I am the one you're thinking of?
Please, please talk to someone, OP. Please. For everyone who loves you, who cares about you in some way.
Because I can put two and two together
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