A friend of mine recently told me about a car accident he was involved in. The girl he loved died. She insisted on sitting the front seat of their friend's car on their way out somewhere. The friend had had a bit too much to drink and when he crashed, she went flying out the car. They had been dating for 5 years and were engaged. My friend ended up having to get a blood transfusion after the accident. He was given some bad blood and now has full blown AIDs. His parents know none of this. His parent's hated hers and they don't even know she's dead, much less anything about the AIDs or their plan to get married. He doesn't what to tell them because his parents are both in bad health and he thinks springing this on them might send his dad into a literal heart attack. He also just found out that is girlfriend he's been seeing is really bipolar and she's suicidal this week. He was planning on breaking up with her. He already feels responcible for one life and he doesn't want to feel that way about another. I know this all sounds too full of drama to be a real life story but it is. If you could see the way he deals with things, you'd cry. He's so outwardly detatched from what's going around him. He's also been cutting himself and who knows what else. I don't know what to say to him. I guess listening is enough but what if he does die? He was the boy who help me find God again. I owe him so much. I don't know if I could live without him at this point. If anyone knows anything I could do without telling someone, please tell me. I feel helpless.
Anonymous
01:14:06 AM
8 comments:
This boy....this family needs some real counseling - Tangst isn't going to be enough for this one.
A boy with AIDS cutting himself will not last long.
^ he'll last longer than a boy with hemophilia cutting himself, though not much longer...
but yes, tall parties involved need some serious counseling. off-kilter teens on their summer vacations can't help you with this one.
yea totally agree. maybe talk to your parents about and help their whole family get help. but its not like you can wait a few years and think about whether you should get him and his family help. you have to do it now. before its too late. you owe him that much remember? he's not gonna wanna it...but its the only way to help him.
what a sucky way to get aids....
i'm really, really sorry. for you, to have to stand and watch this happen, but also for all of the parties involved in the story. like other people have said, i really think that this isn't for tangst (though i guess it's a good outlet)... these people need help, and fast. it sucks to be the one who has to be "proactive" in this situation, but remember that if you don't do it now you'll spend your whole life regretting that you could have made a difference in some way.
my thoughts and best wishes are with you and the entire family.
Remember when they told us not to drink? Remember when they told us to wear our seatbelts.
We all laughed.
My heart is crying because of this. I don't really know what to say. I read this post, and first (yes, OP, you guessed it accurately) thought it was a joke. Then allowed myself to move out of denial. Then realized how incredibly serious and heartwrenching this is.
You say he helped you find God again - then could God be a source for his comfort? Or at least yours? On Postsecret a week or two ago, there was a postcard that read, "God is just a big placebo." And somebody sent in an e-mail, replying, "Strangely enough, placebos sometimes work."
(Personally, I believe that God is more than a placebo - and I hope you do, too.)
Solace and comfort CAN come, my Tangsted friend.
As for advice? You don't want to hear it. But I feel like I need to type it.
Tell. Someone.
Maybe you don't have the courage, strength, or means to tell it all. But at the very least, get some help for this guy's girl. I have seen what horrible things suicides can do - above and beyond the initial fact that somebody decided to take their life.
Oh, so you still want some don't-have-to-tell-anybody advice? I already gave it: go to God. Pray, cry, scream and kick and shout and run and let it all out into His hands. There's no need to keep bottled up that which He can take away.
Tell someone real.
Tell someone you trust.
Tell someone you can talk to.
Tell someone who can give you a hug.
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