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You can draw two parallel graphs of how much my parents yelled at eachother when I was young and how many times a day I broke down crying. Their divorce is probably one of the best things that's happened to me, in retrospect.
I want to feel your pain, but I can't. For some reason, whenever my mother and stepfather fight I feel happy and victorious. Of course this isn't my true family, and it will never be.
It bothers me when my parents fight too. I'd say I wanted them to get a divorce but I don't because if they did neither of them would have anyone except me and my brother to blame.
"We all talk about the sanctity of marriage but no one really cares these days."
There's nothing sacred about meantal trauma for your kids. All the sanctity needs to happen before hand, in making a wise choice of who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. But if you jump into things and find out you've made a mistake, clinging to a failed relationship is only going to cause more problems.
"There's nothing sacred about meantal trauma for your kids. All the sanctity needs to happen before hand, in making a wise choice of who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. But if you jump into things and find out you've made a mistake, clinging to a failed relationship is only going to cause more problems."
That's the whole point, it's not something you jump into. Neither are kids.
Marriage is saying that you're done being lonely and you're willing to give up your privacy, individuality, and freedom for the chance to wake up each morning next to someone you love and who loves you in return.
"Marriage is saying that you're done being lonely and you're willing to give up your privacy, individuality, and freedom for the chance to wake up each morning next to someone you love and who loves you in return."
I believe that's the exact philosophy that causes so many marriages to end in divorce.
Marriage is a commitment. When that giddy feeling is gone, your connection and respect for eachother shouldn't be. You have to work at it. At least that's what I hear from old people.
"Marriage is a commitment. When that giddy feeling is gone, your connection and respect for eachother shouldn't be. You have to work at it. At least that's what I hear from old people."
I agree.
I heard from someone the other day that love is a decision and not a feeling, and at first it sounded weird.
But the more I think about it's true, we all think love is this magical thing that just happens to be there or it isn't, but that's completely wrong.
You choose to live the rest of your life committed to one person.
I think that entails trying to eventually break down your barriers of ego to the point where you care about your other just as much as you care about yourself. It's something I think our individual focused society has a difficult time imagining, hell, I can't imagine it.
As to that post that I disagreed with, I do blieve that marriage entails something very much like that, but the way it was stated sounded very pessimistic to me. Kind of like Thoreau stating Locke's theory in his essays.
18 comments:
Shouldn't it?
You can draw two parallel graphs of how much my parents yelled at eachother when I was young and how many times a day I broke down crying. Their divorce is probably one of the best things that's happened to me, in retrospect.
^Moral of the story: Don't marry someone that you'll have to constantly fight with.
Moral Two: Once the love is gone, get out of Dodge. You're only hurting the kids.
I'm sorry. Really, I am. Went through all of that, parents got separated and it still sucked.
My sympathy doesn't translate well into words, I'm afraid, but I am sorry.
I want to feel your pain, but I can't. For some reason, whenever my mother and stepfather fight I feel happy and victorious. Of course this isn't my true family, and it will never be.
I feel bad for you though, and I am sorry.
It bothers me when my parents fight too. I'd say I wanted them to get a divorce but I don't because if they did neither of them would have anyone except me and my brother to blame.
"Moral Two: Once the love is gone, get out of Dodge. You're only hurting the kids."
I hate this philosophy, because divorce is such a cheap way out. We all talk about the sanctity of marriage but no one really cares these days.
"For some reason, whenever my mother and stepfather fight I feel happy and victorious. Of course this isn't my true family, and it will never be."
Wow this is so much sadder on so many levels.
On the flip side, I feel awful sometimes that my stepmom is an alright person, like I'm somehow betraying my mom by getting along with her.
"We all talk about the sanctity of marriage but no one really cares these days."
There's nothing sacred about meantal trauma for your kids. All the sanctity needs to happen before hand, in making a wise choice of who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. But if you jump into things and find out you've made a mistake, clinging to a failed relationship is only going to cause more problems.
people change too i suppose.
.'. the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with may not be the person you spend the rest of your life with, if you know what i mean.
what is marriage anyway
"There's nothing sacred about meantal trauma for your kids. All the sanctity needs to happen before hand, in making a wise choice of who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. But if you jump into things and find out you've made a mistake, clinging to a failed relationship is only going to cause more problems."
That's the whole point, it's not something you jump into. Neither are kids.
what is marriage anyway
Marriage is saying that you're done being lonely and you're willing to give up your privacy, individuality, and freedom for the chance to wake up each morning next to someone you love and who loves you in return.
"Marriage is saying that you're done being lonely and you're willing to give up your privacy, individuality, and freedom for the chance to wake up each morning next to someone you love and who loves you in return."
I believe that's the exact philosophy that causes so many marriages to end in divorce.
What you define as a successful reason for marriage then, PChis?
"what is marriage anyway"
God's way of making kisses rote, sex stale, and expanding his empire.
Marriage is a commitment. When that giddy feeling is gone, your connection and respect for eachother shouldn't be. You have to work at it. At least that's what I hear from old people.
-old people who are still married and therefore need to justify spending >50 years with someone they may no longer love.
"Marriage is a commitment. When that giddy feeling is gone, your connection and respect for eachother shouldn't be. You have to work at it. At least that's what I hear from old people."
I agree.
I heard from someone the other day that love is a decision and not a feeling, and at first it sounded weird.
But the more I think about it's true, we all think love is this magical thing that just happens to be there or it isn't, but that's completely wrong.
You choose to live the rest of your life committed to one person.
I think that entails trying to eventually break down your barriers of ego to the point where you care about your other just as much as you care about yourself. It's something I think our individual focused society has a difficult time imagining, hell, I can't imagine it.
As to that post that I disagreed with, I do blieve that marriage entails something very much like that, but the way it was stated sounded very pessimistic to me. Kind of like Thoreau stating Locke's theory in his essays.
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