Sometimes I fantasize about being shot to death in the west gym lobby before school one day. I play out how it would happen, what people would say, which people would run and which people would stay to watch me bleed. I wonder who else would die. I wonder how the school would handle it, how kids would handle it. What would my funeral be like? How would individual friends or teachers respond? Would there be a memorial on Tangst for me?
It's not that I'm suicidal or anything. I just think about it sometimes.
Anonymous
11:27:30 PM
13 comments:
God, I do that all the time.
Glad to know i'm not alone...
I do the same thing with rape. I feel like a complete waste of life when I do it. How awful of me.
is it me, or is this NOT normal? i'm sorry anon1 & anon2, but the op & you 2 are a little odd. not putting down what you think or dream or fantasize about, mind you, but thinking about being shot or being raped IS NOT normal (is it?).
am i right?
sorry... not trying to be judgmental or anything. just my humble (ha, ha... that's funny) opinion.
well fantasize generally has the meaning of positive or is used that way. but yea i sometimes do the same thing but like i ususally think what i would do if there were just zombies invading. I dont know why zombies but i have thought about what i would do for every building that i am in frequently what i would do in the event of zombie attack.
i guess saying the word "fantasize" and the words "being shot" or "getting raped" just don't seem to jive with me. oh well... different strokes blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, OP, sometimes I think about complete self-indulgence too.
Then I realize that it is total narcissism.
I don't think it's odd at all. I generally imagine ridiculous things (from something slightly as realistic as someone pissing me off to the point where I fight them to ridiculous things such as zombie invasions.) Perhaps it's an exercise in imagination or problem solving. Perhaps it's cause of boredom.
It can be pretty cool nonetheless.
yea, a lot of times i imagine like horrible things happening to me to try and see the positive that would come out, or how people would react... like who would cry at my death and stuff like that
it's not odd at all
I hate you people. You remind me too much of me.
I always imagine a terrorist attack on the school and how we would fight back, or not.
i completely understand. i've imagined that so many times.
When I do it I usually imagine myself getting like cancer or something - nothing too violent. OP, your scenario is definitely a bit disturbing to me, but I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I suppose people just have different ways of thinking about what would happen if they died. Death is something that no one alive really knows about, so it's natural to wonder.
wow. yea. sometimes i wonder how much people would miss me at my funeral and stuff. it actually makes you feel better when you feel like shit. or me anyway..
and sometimes i wonder if like my best friend or family died.
and then i stop. its really weird.
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