Wednesday, December 31, 2008

i'm sixteen years old. i feel very lonely. i have a lot of friends but i feel like none of them share my vision of what is life. i want very close friends, i want to have meaningful discussions, i want to explore, i want to experience.

i want to be happy.

the reality i live in is so dissapointing. i'm afraid of what's coming up. it is so scary how no one really knows how i feel or who i am...

i am so confused about ... everything. i'm disturbed.
so hard to find the right words..
i do drugs, often alone, because i'm trying to escape from this existence. i'm trying to set my spirit and my body free.

im trying to get to know myself. i seek for authenticity.

why do most people have to make me feel so different...

07:31:00 PM


Anonymous said...

You just summed up everything and I mean EVERYTHING I feel:
I'm 16 years old and I feel exactly the same way you feel.
I smoke weed just to feel free and escape from my body and my life. To break free from so many restraints. and I too am trying find myself. Ihe only thing I'm sure of is that I want to find happiness.

Anonymous said...

By doing drugs or alcohol you will eventually lose yourself. Please don't risk that. It is a dead end that will take away your happiness.

Don't give up yet. I'm sure you can think of better ways to get closer to people and reach your goal. At least you know clearly what you want. Now study and practice how to go about getting that. The older you get the more autonomy you have in choosing and associating with a wider range of people too. Hold onto you goal, because better days can be coming for you. Practice now.

Anonymous said...

glad to see im not the only one

Anonymous said...

You are not alone, trust me, you are SIXTEEN. Everyone feels like that at 16.

Anonymous said...

I know. This is so common. Everyone feels so different, strange, estranged, and weird, and only later you realize even the coolest most confident-appearing people were a mess inside, too unfortunately. Everyone thinks only they are so different, misunderstood, alone. It gets better with maturity. Hang in there! Read biographies--it puts things into perspective.

Anonymous said...

Don't let your sixteenth year waste away. Hardships at that age are priceless and will define you as a person later on. This might sound ridiculous, but when I had problems at that age, my parents were really easy to talk to because they honestly DID remember what it was like at that age. Your friends will show their true colors, and you can pick and choose which ones are there forever. Don't let drugs get in the way of enjoying every part of high school you possibly can.