i had sex. thats common knowledge except to the person that should probably know. i had sex with HIM, see the with HIM part is not common knowledge and by with HIM i mean the scum of the earth, the alchoholic, the failure, the lustful HIM. HIM who no one knows. The HIM who is seperate from my world at school. The HIM who i continue to lust for no matter how much the HIM hurts me. the HIM hurt me for the last time tonight. He wants to forget it happened ... he wants to forget me. well ok. he can forget me. and i'll try to forget him. but its hard to forget your first time. I am a sexual person. there will be more sex. That's not the issue.

Now to this new amazing man. he is great. i feel wonderful around him. But his exit from my life is so soon but oddly comforting. Do i tell the new man about HIM. Do I? HIM happens to be a big factor in my life. I don't want to forget HIM. I just don't. But this new man is turning out to be unforgettable. oh how glad i am.

oh how i tell myself to please not screw it up.


Anonymous
12:39:00 AM