I loved her. That is really all there is to it.

But it could never work. I know what I want, and I know what she wants. Twoo entirely seperate things. So I'm trying to move on. I'm looking away and trying to drift away. She knows it, I think. But now I'm afraid that, once again, my timing is terrible. I have a feeling that now, of all times, she is changing. And I fear that my pulling away is hurting her more than my unreturned love used to hurt me.

My dilema is that I've moved on, mostly. I can't reverse the effort that I have put in. It would kill me, literally.

I want her to know that I'm sorry. But I can't talk to her. I wouldn't know what to say, what to do. I guess I hope that she reads this post, and knows that I'm talking to her in the only way I can.