Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Dear God, It's Me, Margaret

So... Gainesville. A wise man once said it is where the Devil's female fruit blossoms. However I feel increasingly obsessed over a girl I know who hails from this... grove. What do we do, Tangstmunity? What do we do when we're obsessed for some ridiculous reason. I think a preemptive burning of bridges might suffice, or making up a conversation to play out the fantasy that I know is ridiculous. In any case, maybe I just want to have some sort of female contact again. Lie, though, it's much more than that. I want a girl I can take home to Mom and Dad, who I can call on the phone and have an actual honest-to-God relationship with. I'm so tired of all these random hook-ups (count: 0 so far) and I'm craving some actual connection. Please, just let it actually happen. Pray for me, or cross your fingers, or create a damned love potion. Something, please.

Doctor A

7 comments:

SwalesT'shooth said...

I would say "It can't hurt to ask her out to dinner-- what's the worst that could happen?" but I know that there are worse things than a "no." It's complicated, man.

I would work on building up a friendship with her first, feel her out, see if she'd be into the monogamy thing. Chances are she would--she's a girl, we generally like monogamy and are delighted to find guys who like monogamy, too. Be sure to engage in some lighthearted flirting with her, too, so it doesn't become such a platonic relationship that you get the "Gee, Doctor A, I like you a lot but I just don't feel that way about you." Because this person would totally be calling you by your Tangst name.

Take things slow, is my advice. Not that taking things slow has ever gotten me anywhere, but taking things fast has gotten me bad places, so the equation should work in reverse, no?

Dr. A said...

Well the friendship thing has already been accomplished and I mean we're going on something that she labeled a date, whether light-heartedly and as a joke or not (I don't know). And I've been flirting with her this whole time and I haven't become such a good friend as to become invisible on the love radar, I think (Pchis, Maverick -- compare to Sparrow).
It's just my problem has always been not being able to make the move necessary and so... I just want to be able to make the move if the time calls for it. However, I don't know if the time calls for it or not and I don't know how she feels about this so-called date. And yet, I can't help feeling as excited about a girl as I've been in a couple months. But yeah, so far I've followed your advice, swalest'shooth, and I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow night.

Anonymous said...

Keep us updated?

Anonymous said...

How did it go?

Dr. A said...

Pshh. Not very well. As it turns out, the girl was just interested in friendship and the whole thing ended up never happening anyway. She made plans for later and all in all a disappointing experience. Again

Anonymous said...

LAME
This girl must be LAME

Dr. A said...

I couldn't agree with you more anonymous number last.