I want to be a professional philanthropist, if such a thing could exist. It seems like that'd be so rewarding and fulfilling a thing to do.
Anonymous
11:42:00 AM
3/26/2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Its been one year since I met you. I love you, yet irrationally so. I find myself too level headed, too logical. This one way infatuation has not only made my life dark, but resurrected a twisted faith in God.
Only God could, ex nihilo, create someone so beautiful in face and facet. Yet only God would simultaneously snatch such a blessing, such a carressing of the soul, out of my life.
I'm so fucking sick of dreaming of you. I've endured some tortured dreams. Dreams of cracked and crunched bones, inescapable damnation. But I wouldn't flinch when I drifted into sleep so long as I knew that I wouldn't find myself in that damned house, hearing your damn voice, and always being just one closed door away.
Because that's how its become. We're all in some huge strange house looking for ourselves or someone else, right? On the offchance that your internet glitches its way to this page, just know that every time I call you, its only to perpetuate the facade that I'm "just a bright and bubbly friend you could need to say comforting things in your ear".
I actually want to experience the rest of life with you. Maybe I'll call you tomorrow. Just get the fuck out of my dreams.
Anonymous
02:08:00 AM
3/26/2008
Do you think it is possible to still like someone just because you've gotten used to it?
Because I've liked someone for a really long time now, but even when I find out about him liking other people it doesn't bother me that much but I kind of make myself be bothered by it. And when I really think about it, I don't think I would want to date him.
So how do I get over this?
Anonymous
09:23:00 PM
3/25/2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Bubbles
Like the smallest spheres of air
quickly passing through the sea,
the yellow light from The Above
illuminates our destiny.
Oh fragile films so round and thin
and ever gently upward go,
an iridescent path of light
we travel, rising from below.
Be careful on your path, my love,
for 'tis a fate so worse than death
if you should stray or separate
before we surface for our breath,
And in the light we shall expand
and perhaps join side to side,
to reach up to the sky above,
and wander with the flowing tide.
And as we reach the precipice
of salty sea to salty air
the sun may burst our tiny shells
but to our love cannot compare.
As we rise into the stars-
wisps of air, so intertwined
I whisper to your zephyr soul
Our love, dear Love, can't be defined
My first attempt at real poetry, I wrote it for you.
Anonymous
10:35:00 PM
3/20/2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
You touch my little sister and I will hunt you down, and break you. Not to mention the police will be on your ass like white on rice... so take that into consideration when you plan to beat her up tomorrow. P.S. they already have your name so I would lay low little girl.
Anonymous
04:40:00 PM
3/17/2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/27
/internet-sex-predators-not-so-prevalent/
At last.
Anonymous
10:54:00 PM
3/05/2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
This isnt good enough. I take dry-erase makers to mirrors, I scribble in notebooks, I scream in the car, I blast my vocal chords on some middle-of-nowhere beach. But its not good enough. You will still be there, and I will still be here, forever wondering whether or not you are worth the memory.
So do or die. I feel too impatient to deal with the in-between.
Anonymous
12:12:00 AM
3/05/2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
my sister is being emotionally torn because all of her friends (as freshmen mind you) are throwing away their lives by doing drugs during school, and giving blow jobs at church. and every time i look at them i want to puke, because they are a reflection of what she does not see in me.
Anonymous
08:36:00 PM
3/03/2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
Confessions I just kind of need to get rid of:
1. I find myself increasingly attracted to my new boss and he's like late twenties or thirties...I'm 17. Can't help it. He smells nice, he's funny, and his hands are so big...ugg how can I not fantasize? (Don't worry I'm never going to act on it.)
2. I kind of cut myself on the wrist with a pair of scissors but not very big and hardly any blood (more like scratches) and was almost disappointed when no one noticed. But not going to do it again because a)I'm a wimp and I don't like pain and b)I didn't really find much release from it and c) I've seen what cutting has done to several of my friends and I don't want to become that.
3. My crush for over 2 years asked someone out recently. It's like being run over again every time I see them together and I can't sleep at night and still feel like crying all the time, over a week later. He's one of my closest friends and talking to him just makes me miss and love him more and I still can't get over the jolt I feel every time I see him.
4. I can't help but feel really, really ugly and wonder if my plainness and my size are what makes him not want me. I'm told I'm beautiful but I can never tell if it's just out of kindness (i.e. my mother and my close guy friends who say lots of girls are beautiful) I wish I had the self-control to just eat less and though I don't want to be caught up in an eating disorder, I do want to be skinny. I'm not fat, just have a "muffin top" and I hate my body shape.
4. One of my other close guy friends cuts himself because he hates himself so much and I want nothing more than to "save" him and show him love that he's never known before. We'd be perfect together except he loves this other girl (who has a boyfriend) with all of his heart and I don't think there's room for me. We make jokes all the time about being together and flirt a lot. I'm definitely attracted to him on so many levels. How do I draw him out and make him realize even if she isn't here I am?
So, basically, right now I feel hideous inside and out. If you read all of this whining, thank you. I don't want to burden all of my friends with this when they need me so much more than I need them.
Anonymous
08:45:00 PM
3/02/2008
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)