Friday, April 10, 2009

When I was little and I couldn't sleep, my mom would rub my back while telling me the names of all the people who loved me. She would fill a whole hour like that sometimes, exhausting nuclear family members, then household pets, then distant cousins, then teachers and friends from school, and occasionally (but rarely) falling back on Jesus and God. I think sometimes I faked nightmares just so she would do that with me.

I'm twenty now, and I'm in college far away from home. I'm a big girl who does her own laundry and has a discount card for the local grocery store and always remembers to sort the recyclables. I know I need to learn to be an adult, but all I want right now is for my mom to sit on the side of my bed and rub my back and tell me the names of all the people who love me.

12:33:00 AM


Anonymous said...

Your Mom did that so that someday, when you are who you are and where you are now, you would remember that and be able to do it yourself, in memory of her and all those people who loved you. Nothing is permanent, but because you had such a great Mom, you had a great beginning to grow from. Make her proud, and cherish her voice inside you.

Anonymous said...

I'm 18, turning 19 this week and I want that SO badly right now.

I feel like my birthday coming up is like another testament to a year I haven't grown up.