Confessions I just kind of need to get rid of:
1. I find myself increasingly attracted to my new boss and he's like late twenties or thirties...I'm 17. Can't help it. He smells nice, he's funny, and his hands are so big...ugg how can I not fantasize? (Don't worry I'm never going to act on it.)
2. I kind of cut myself on the wrist with a pair of scissors but not very big and hardly any blood (more like scratches) and was almost disappointed when no one noticed. But not going to do it again because a)I'm a wimp and I don't like pain and b)I didn't really find much release from it and c) I've seen what cutting has done to several of my friends and I don't want to become that.
3. My crush for over 2 years asked someone out recently. It's like being run over again every time I see them together and I can't sleep at night and still feel like crying all the time, over a week later. He's one of my closest friends and talking to him just makes me miss and love him more and I still can't get over the jolt I feel every time I see him.
4. I can't help but feel really, really ugly and wonder if my plainness and my size are what makes him not want me. I'm told I'm beautiful but I can never tell if it's just out of kindness (i.e. my mother and my close guy friends who say lots of girls are beautiful) I wish I had the self-control to just eat less and though I don't want to be caught up in an eating disorder, I do want to be skinny. I'm not fat, just have a "muffin top" and I hate my body shape.
4. One of my other close guy friends cuts himself because he hates himself so much and I want nothing more than to "save" him and show him love that he's never known before. We'd be perfect together except he loves this other girl (who has a boyfriend) with all of his heart and I don't think there's room for me. We make jokes all the time about being together and flirt a lot. I'm definitely attracted to him on so many levels. How do I draw him out and make him realize even if she isn't here I am?
So, basically, right now I feel hideous inside and out. If you read all of this whining, thank you. I don't want to burden all of my friends with this when they need me so much more than I need them.
Anonymous
08:45:00 PM
3/02/2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
anonymous
We’re All Just A Little Bit Pretentious
by an anonymous and angsty writer
In a world where every word is judged,
taken a scalpel to, and dissected until the meaning is irrelevant
but political correctness is key,
molding the world into a monotonous lifestyle,
where words are bland,
dripping with the dull that is the day to day deluge of “damn I wish I had taken a chance,”
exists a group of individuals,
the auteurs of culture,
resenting the very thing that is art,
and taking away all interpretations but their own,
leaving my life dry and lonely,
missing the moisture that was the long awaited public response to my work.
Why would an artist,
an human being,
anyone,
submit herself to the euthanasia that is critical analysis,
a form of spitting the remnants of last nights dinner,
which have long gone rotten in the dewy, hellish, humid heat of an angry night,
in the face of a representative of the freedom of expression?
“Leave me be,”
is all I can cry,
hoping that the oversized and overpowering fans of censorship
will not carry my words away on the wind
as I run after them,
hoping to seize on to the “m” and be carried off to a better place.
But alas,
I am left to deal with the shit of humanity,
the pungent aroma that is secreting through the pores of every opponent of art,
of life,
of the “my country ‘tis of thee” way of being.
And whilst I deal,
they sit in their penthouse flats
swishing their glasses of Crystal
as they speak of the sensitivities of smart senators amongst
their smarmy swarms of social superiors.
anonymous
2/24/2008
06:06:00 PM
Im tired of anal sex in porn, I mean Straight anal sex for that matter, I don't like it much its just not what floats my boat or tickles my pickle but there I am playing the skin flute and that spicy little Asian suddenly has a dick in her ass. I'm sorry if its your thing then great but I find it kinda gross, dicks and shit don't mix well for me in fact not much mixes with shit very well. What I need is a warning message to tell me if a porno has anal sex in it before I watch it. That way I wont even try to start churning out some man mayonnaise to a hot chick getting pounded by some sort of beastly trouser snake only to be interrupted when it ventures into the final frontier. Why must all porn makers assume that Guys love to see Women getting there bungholes massacred? Do women really even get pleasure from anal sex? It really doesn't seem real pleasurable to me however I've never been pounded in the ass so the closest thing I know of would be laying down a big brown butt baby after a big meal. This experience doesn't really excite much. To get back to my point and hopefully sum up this ultimately pointless rant; I don't enjoy watching anal sex in porn movies and in the quest for more and more raunchy porn I believe the screen quality of normal old vag style screwing is being lost in an effort to make porn more exciting.
Anonymous
04:42:00 AM
2/23/2008
am i invisible to you? or do you just not realize that I too have a vag? because you act like you are interested... and then you decide to talk to me about other girls.
are you that thick?
i baked you a cake and then cried into it because i knew you wouldn't understand.
so... why do i still care?
Anonymous
11:20:00 PM
2/22/2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
You know what really grinds my gears?
The gross mistreatment of condoms by so many people.
I saw a group giving out free condoms the other day...it was about twenty degrees outside. This is not okay.
Condoms should be kept at room temperature.
Don't leave them in the glove compartment for long periods of time. Putting them in your wallet or in your back pocket is not okay. I don't care if it's only going to be there for a night; your ass is a hot thing that can weaken the latex. If you need to take them out with you, at least put them in a purse or something.
As for the rest, just read the damn box: it tells you EVERYTHING...
Except this (which is my little gift to you): To test your condoms (after you're done boning), just fill them with water; if water leaks out anywhere, you know you have a breach, and you can go get some emergency contraception and use it when it's most useful (which is as close to the event as you can possibly get, btw).
I'm not gonna pull any of my philosophy on when and how you should have sex (at least in this installment), but if you're going to do it, realize that babies are a serious possibility.
Take your safety that seriously, alright?
I'm sure some of you will come back at me with "well I did such and such and my girlfriend isn't preggers." Well I congratulate you. That doesn't mean you're not stupid.
I have spent the last seven hours trying to contact you.
At first I was mad at you for ignoring me and apparently canceling our plans. Then I just wanted to know you were alive.
I am going to wait up all night for you to call back and let me know that you're safe, because I care about you. And then tomorrow I will find out that you were okay the whole time, that you just "forgot" to call me back or "didn't have time."
Caring for you hurts so much sometimes.
Anonymous
01:25:00 AM
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
You know what really grinds my gears?
It's when people don't understand the phrase "have my cake and eat it too."
So once and for all, I need to clear it up for everyone who reads this site:
The phrase is not referring to someone owning a piece of cake and then being denied the right to eat said piece of cake. It is instead referring to the impossibility of having a piece of cake ready to be eaten and also eating that piece of cake. You either have it, or it's in your belly (or somewhere in between), it can't be both at the same time.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
All of this talk of colleges is really starting to scare me.
I'm a junior with mostly As, and decent extracurricular activities. But all of these people who didn't get into UNC-Ch, or even State, or Appalachian... it's making me worry a lot.
I always figured that I had at least a decent shot at UNC, and that State shouldn't be a problem. Now I'm beginning to wonder, and I just hope that my original assumptions were right.
Anonymous
11:41:00 AM
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I really hate cutters. I know there are complex emotional reasons for self-mutilation and all that bullshit, but for fuck's sake. Just STOP for the love of pete, it's so fucking stupid-- and don't act all jaded and "oh, I've been to therapists and they don't care, they don't help, blah blah blah." I secretly wish you would all cut deeply, the right way, and just remove your stupid depressed genes from the pool. Your life obviously isn't doing you much good, so why keep whining?
Anonymous
08:59:00 PM
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Monday, January 07, 2008
Friday, January 04, 2008
I hate doing all the work in a friendship. I'm always the one who has to call you. You never think to invite me to your get togethers, and most of the time I don't find out about them until it's too late. I'd feel better if I thought you were just lazy, but since you spend so much time with your other friends (that you have known for less time than you have known me), I get the feeling that you just don't like me that much.
It wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't think of you as one of my better friends. One of my only friends.
I know people drift apart naturally over time, and five and a half years is nothing to cry over, but I just feel that this is the story of my life. I make a friend, and we're really close for a while. Then they meet other people, and stop hanging out with me. I try to make it work for a while, but eventualy I see it is foolish to keep up a one sided friendship. I wished it wouldn't happen to you, and I invested a lot to keep it from happening, but there's really no use wasting your time anymore.
I hope you're happy, I really do. You deserve it. But you don't deserve unconditional love from someone you don't really like.
Anonymous
06:45:00 PM
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
I have major rage problems. When I get really frustrated or angry I react and usually end up hurting myself or breaking something around me. I never act this way when someone else is around - and it is usually just a brute explosion then I curse myself for reacting. I need some way to not break things when I get angry.
Anonymous
09:56:00 PM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
would you give your father a second chance?
a father who hit you and your mom when you were little. an alcoholic, who had an affair and left another woman pregnant. who divorced your mom and when you stayed at his house when you were little...left for two days leaving you all by yourself.
he wants a second chance now.
Anonymous
09:19:00 PM
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I was in a bad mood and arguing about little things (but not in an angry way.. I just do that when i'm tired and unhappy). He stopped talking to me because he argued with his parents last night and didn't want to deal with anymore drama. He didn't feel like dealing with me... I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel.
Anonymous
07:31:00 PM
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
I definitely put myself out there last night and, surprise surprise, there wasn't much on the other end. It actually WAS kind of surprising because I thought he liked me too. This is just one in a string of almost-something heartaches. I'm not bitter (well, yes I am, but it's not so bad, because I "learned" from it) but I just wish something would come my way.
All people can say is "at least you have the guts." Yes, yes I do. But it hasn't gotten me very far, has it?
Anonymous
02:54:00 PM