Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I leave for "home" tomorrow.

Though this summer's activities will mirror those of last summer's my general outlook has changed dramatically. Since I graduated with a boiling hatred of all of the people I was ever close to in high school, last summer was the best summer of my life. I could run away and kick the dirt in their faces and never, never, never look back. Every smile was a huge "fuck you" to everyone who wrote me off as a bitch or a whore or a crazy person. I was free of them and what they thought would never, ever matter again. They didn't know who I was and they still don't know. Their b, not mine.

This summer I leave these mountains knowing the absolute greatest people I've ever met. Instead of running far, far away from here I'm being dragged kicking and screaming. Sure I will laugh with my neighborhood friends back home- we'll party and go nuts and spend the summer shining like water under the sun. I will frown on the inside, though. I don't know if I can be truly whole and happy knowing that I'm not with the people to whom I belong.

09:34:00 PM


Anonymous said...

I know how you feel, A. I am going to miss campus life so much. Everyone here has been so much better for me than Raleigh-folk.

Anonymous said...

I like campus life, but I appreciate summers in Raleigh because they let me recharge. Sometimes it's nice to spend time away from the demands of even the most enjoyable social life.

Anonymous said...

You guys have not been to the right part of Raleigh. Nearly all of the people I met in high school are still amazing friends. Yes, some of them moved off to different places, but I still stay in touch.

Anonymous said...

Anon3, I probably know the same Raleigh people as you do and while I love them there is a certain bond that you form with friends when you're all living together. Maybe it's you who hasn't had the right experiences in college.

OP (A) said...

>>Nearly all of the people I met in high school are still amazing friends

Therein lies the problem- nearly all of the people I met in high school think of me as a bitch and I don't give a shit about them. I have friends here but they aren't friends from my high school. Also college friends >(x100) high school friends and home friends. It's going to be a shitty summer.

A3 said...

I'm sorry OP. I wish you the best. Do your college friends live anywhere near you so that you might visit them or they visit you?

Anonymous said...

I think it varies. I feel much closer to my high school friends than to my college friends, even if I see my HS ppl less often.