Thursday, July 24, 2008

if you just completed your first year of college and your a guy can you date a girl who is just coming into college?

If two people go on a date that might or might not be a date should they guy still pay, should a guy usually pay?

If a girl has got a crush on another guy but seems interested in you how could you tell if shes just friendly or if there is more?

I feel embarrassed just asking these questions but They are occupying the back of my mind and stuck in my head like sand in a oyster. Ive come across most of the questions/ situations before but this time it just feels different, its something I really don't want to mess up.

05:41:00 PM


SwalesT'shooth said...

1. Yes. Totally okay if you're into one another. Just be sure that you don't monopolize her time; she needs to learn her way around the college world for herself.

2. Split the cost half and half on a first date or an experimental not-quite-date. In a long-term relationship, try to alternate who pays for what. The idea that the guy should always pay is a bad one. Not only does it drain a guy's bank accounts, it puts pressure on a girl to put out. Sharing the cost of dates means that you're together because you both enjoy being together, not because some guy is paying for your company.

3. Straight up ask her. A girl might have a crush on somebody, but a crush is just hormones gone a little wacky. It's not a signed contract. Nothing says a girl can't be crushing on another guy but have bigger, more important feelings for you.

Anonymous said...

1. yes. ive known a guy who was a soph in college who dated a senior in hs. dont let numbers hold you back. unless youre 18 and shes 12.

2. i'd say offer. if its up in the air and maybe neither of you have addressed it, then she'll at least know youre ineterested if you are.

3. i gotta agree with 'shooth. just ask her.

Anonymous said...

1. absolutely, no problems - but I agree with swalest in that you should allow her to explore college for herself some too.

2. 50/50 split. Otherwise it does leave the guy broke after a while and that has a number of consequences later on (insecurities about not being able to pay anymore, etc). but the ever so often treat isn't a bad idea (I would just make sure it's understood that its a shared relationship - therefore cost is shared)

3. I agree with top two - but if you don't want to do that, just hold off, keep flirting and maybe it will become more clear in time.

Anonymous said...

The guy always pays.

Well, almost always. If it's your birthday or something, you're off the hook. But if you're going to date someone, you should be have appropriate finances to do so. Sounds silly, but it's really not. It's simply chivalry.

And to those who say that it puts pressure on the girl to put out, that is not the point. Unless the guy is really sleazy, in which case you shouldn't be dating him anyway, he will never use "but I bought you dinner" to get sex.

Anonymous said...

Pay for the first date. Girls think it's sexy.

a girl said...

^not really.