Lunatic love thought without thinking and through

I ask you not to leave for thousands of reasons, for example for me, I am a reason, I might even be the reason, but there are thousands more, without counting me I can name countless reasons, like for example us, because that reason is twice as important as me, that reason is two, but not any two, it is us two, you and I, us as always, the ones from the pictures, from the walk on the afternoons, from the kisses, from the discussions on the telephone about the thousands of reasons that exist for us to be together, form yesterday’s night, from today’s morning, but there are more reasons, lots more, like the cold space that’s left in the right side of my body, or the left one, either one is the same, they are still really cold, still there are more reasons, and there are so many that I don’t know which one goes next, I’m afraid I could go on forever, and if I never stop giving you reasons then I would never know if you’re staying or not, and that frightens me, I don0t want you to leave, because if you leave millions of dreams will become orphans, and if you have ever seen an orphan you’ll know that’s very sad, almost as sad as if you leave, but I hope you don’t, I need you for tons of things, like having someone I can give stupid nicknames without getting hit or starred coldly as a answer, or to enjoy lots of movies from which I’ll only remember a few scenes because I’ll be busy on the other ones, because those scenes I don’t remember are stuck in my mind, and they burn and burn when you’re not here, that means that if you leave they won’t stop burning, and will make way through my brain, and will make way through my chest, and there’ll be thousands of wounds, one for each reason I have for you to stay, so you’ll know what I say is true, someday you’ll hear about the poor bastard that walks with a thousand open wounds and that won’t stop muttering one name that only he can understand, and you’ll know it’d me, because only a person who knows how it feels to lose someone even if there’s thousands of reasons would understand, so I ask you not to leave, all your stuff is here, or at least what matters, what matters to me, except for you, there’s no you, but I know you’ll be here, because there’s a thousand reasons for you to come, and those reasons will pick you up in a horse wherever you are and bring you to me, so will be together and it’ll be as if you never left, because if there’s something easier than leaving it is staying, it requires of less than half the work, specially when there’s a thousand reasons to do it, for example the knife you left, the blood must be dry by now, it was long ago, but I know you’ll be back, even if it is only to know what happened to the knife, or to me, they say that I’ll walk again soon, so I’ll soon go looking for you, because maybe you don’t come because you can’t, or they won’t let you, but if a can walk I can pick you up, and I’ll tell you not to worry, that I’m fine, that there’s nothing to forgive, that life can give us another chance, only if you don’t have another knife. I think I don’t like knives.

Anonymous
01:46:00 AM

There's a boy who is very nice. He likes me very much. We are interested in the same things, watch some of the same shows, read some of the same books, and have a similar view of the universe. He's everything that I ever wanted. He told me last night that he was glad he finally had someone to talk to about all this stuff. My mind/soul/spirit/whatever is screaming: this is the guy who embodies everything you think is good, morally and intelectually! If anyone could be "the one" it would be him.

Except I'm not attracted to him.

And then there's a boy, who is extremely cute. I have one class with him and I try to sit next to him whenever I can. I'm too shy to talk to him, even though I know he's single. Whenever I see him I think "damn, I want to have his babies!" For him my sexual intincts kick in and make me realize that human is animal.

The soul seeks perfection
The body seeks a fuck buddy

Anonymous
09:37:00 AM

I just found this blog by hitting the "next blog" link (which is actually kind of a sad hobby) and thought maybe I could give it a try. I’m from Bogotá, the capital of Colombia for those who don’t know it. All that is just to give a little background of all this…
I’ve always waited for that girl. Don’t know her name, or her looks. Don’t know her age, or her eyes’ color. And actually don’t even care. Still I’ve just waited for her. Every night still I dream of her, in that foggy silhouette kind of dream, and even though at the morning I can’t even remember her voice, I still remember how she make’s me feel. I know that as soon as I meet her I will know that she’s the girl I’ve been waiting for so long… maybe I’m just a pathetic guy that hopes for something impossible… but if she doesn’t exist then life’s just not worth living it. That’s why she has to exist… there’s no other way… I'll just have to… wait.


Anonymous
01:27:00 AM

Hahahahahaha a frat just punked the hell out of me.

Damn, I feel like an idiot.

I want to cling to someone who will listen to all my foolish problems until I'm done and not think any less of me for them, but I'm too afraid to open up to anyone.

This seems to be a first step in some direction, though.

Anonymous
01:04:00 AM

Let's do this thing.

Anonymous
09:31:00 PM

Hey, remember the girl who was excited about the guy adding her on facebook and none of you thought it was a big deal? Well, that's me (duh) and we're now friends again, on speaking terms and we talk every night we can on MSN. I was right, it was the new beginning with him I was waiting for. Maybe he's seen the light?


Anonymous
11:07:00 PM

you know how people say that you shouldn't like a guy just because he's cute, and not just because of his looks.

everyone likes to think that they do that, and they're not shallow. but we know that most people are that shallow.

i've always been one of those people, until i met him.

he's definitely not the attractive one, and if you just showed me in a random group, i would never think a second thought about him.

but we're in a class together. and we spent most of a day together. and he's one of the most charming, charismatic, and non-jerky guys i've ever met.


Anonymous
10:33:00 PM

umm everyone in my family dissaproves of my future major and the college I want to go to.


umm wtf.


Anonymous
09:22:00 PM

For a fraction of a second I almost thought maybe I had a hope of getting over her eventually.

As much as it hurts (and it does hurt, more and more by the day), I'm glad I was wrong.

I am so mixed up.


Anonymous
03:29:00 PM

I still love a stone. So unfortunate.

Plus -- How forward can we be with people of the opposite sex in college, and how quickly can we be that forward? Thank you.

its 1222am on a friday, with a 3day weekend ahead. i could be out with my friends all night having a good time.

instead, i sit at home bound by my culture and tradition.

i want to be free.

Anonymous

9/01/2007 03:24:00 AM

Junior year survival tips, anyone? It's the first week of school and I'm already dead.

Anonymous

8/31/2007 08:17:00 PM

God, I hope this relationship can make it through college.


Anonymous
03:33:00 PM

i feel happy when i talk to him.
i feel happy when he talks to me.


Anonymous
10:06:00 PM

I'm so fucking angry about parking spaces. I mean, I understand if your parents say you can get a car if you get a space, but people who don't have lisences or even permits got spaces because they entered their names into the lottery. Ugh. Fuck you guys. Now I have to park with the Juniors who don't know how to parallel park worth horseshit.


Anonymous
06:36:00 PM

you know what? listening to the same fucking song over and over again still makes you feel like shit. i think it makes you feel shittier, actually.


Anonymous
11:43:00 PM

08

That is all.


Anonymous
03:19:00 PM

To all the admins who have just recently begun their collegiate adventures: how are you guys liking it?


anonymous
01:20:00 AM

HEY HEY MODS MODS
I DON'T LIKE YOUR STYLE OF ADMINISTRATION
NO WAY NO WAY
I THINK WE NEED SOME NEW ONES


anonymous
08:35:00 PM

im so sad


anonymous
07:21:00 PM

I have a crush on the boy that everyone has a crush on. Crapzilla.


anonymous.
11:25:00 AM

i cannot believe that i fell for that again. i am still in awe of what an idiot i am. a stupid, selfish, ignorant, idiot.


anonymous
09:15:00 PM

we have to go to school,again.

why do i feel nervous?
i've been with these same people 
for two years now.

i just can't understand it.
it's not like i'm an outcast,
or anything close.

i've got my friends.

help.


anonymous
08:52:00 PM

i'm going back to school on wednesday, and the very thought of being around all those people that i used to care about makes me want to go jump off a bridge.

people don't change.... do they?


Anonymous
09:47:00 PM

I haven't gotten my license yet because I'm afraid that if I do I'll end up acting on impulse and killing myself via car crash. I don't think I've told more than one person this and she could care less at this point.


Anonymous
12:17:00 AM

college sucks already. I haven't made new friends just left all my old ones behind.


Anonymous
05:27:00 PM

Sometimes I wish I was another race... anything but white. I think darker skin is just gorgeous, but besides that it seems like
American culture is not as rich or interesting as other countries.


Anonymous
10:42:00 PM

He likes me way more than I like him. How can I break his heart?


Anonymous
09:29:00 PM

she doesn't even like him that much.
he deserves so much more.
like me.

Anonymous
08:24:00 PM

I hate having feelings for someone. I'm not kidding. It's paralyzing and annoying, especially when you don't get them.


Anonymous
05:55:00 PM

today was one of "thoes days" the kind you just wish would never, ever happen. not cause something bad happened. today was my first day in public school and i, yes actually i am, i am so encredably scared i could scream!!! i cant figure out how to open my locker, and i dont have time to go to it anyway, my binders for my classes take up a messanger bag and a backpack, and thats WITH OUT text books. speaking of text books i haven't really ever had them....and i dont know ANYONE who goes to school with me. really at all, i have one class with this girl i knew years and years ago, and my path crosses sometimes with people i've met... once or twice...

can ya tell i'm kinda flipping out?

wow college is so soon. Summer was short. Im really nervous about this transition. That is all

Anonymous
01:31:00 PM

A week before I was supposed to go to college my college sent me a letter saying my acceptance was void because of a lower grade at the end of the year than I started with. In a hard class. With no time left to transfer or apply to another school, even community college.

Fuckers.

I've had to go live with my sister. My mother wouldn't stop crying and I haven't spoken to my father since before the letter came.

I'm going to burn it to the ground.


Anonymous
05:10:00 PM

http://www.raleighcharterhs.org/faculty/index.asp?subject=All
Mrs. Woolard is at RCHS.
Damn.


Anonymous
12:34:00 PM

i've always been an outspoken opponent of long-distance relationships and even though i refuse to believe i am in a "relationship" this is so ridiculous. i haven't seen my "boyfriend" in over two months, haven't spoken to him for over a week, i am not even sure i like him anymore, and i don't know what to do. should i "break up"? it's not even a breakup, we haven't even done anything, not even seen each other. and he's going to college anyway... i just feel bad because i know he likes me a lot. but how can i change what i feel?
dammit, this year was supposed to be easy.


Anonymous
11:28:00 PM

I should be over her by now.


Anonymous
12:55:00 AM

i still have the same curiousity and interest for you.

and i don't know why?


Anonymous
12:20:00 AM

I will almost never forgive myself for not choosing French over Spanish.


Anonymous
04:07:00 PM

Secret: I think 4chan eats souls.


Anonymous
11:02:00 AM

should I go to the party or stay at home?


Anonymous
07:54:00 PM

FOX cancels all the good shows

I'm sick of this reality tv crap and those shows that are totally unbelievable


Anonymous
09:33:00 PM

Your adding me as a friend(!!!!) on facebook just made my summer :D:D:D:D <3 Forever,
Me
P.S. I'm so happy, I think I will burst. I hate the awkwardness and the not talking...maybe that's all over. AHHHHHHHHHH! *runs away grinning*


Anonymous
12:26:00 AM

I'm going off to college in less than two weeks now, and I am terrified. I feel like my whole life is about to change, and I really have no idea what to do.


Anonymous
06:41:00 PM

okay, is there any way i could change my lunch? 4th lunch is so fucking stupid.


Anonymous
09:15:00 AM

Everyone knows.


Anonymous
05:21:00 AM

Im so fucking awkward sometimes, I don't know what it is I think if I sens that the person is on a higher social level than me then I just hide.


Anonymous
11:34:00 PM

I feel incredibly angry all the time and I don't know why.


Anonymous
11:26:00 PM

It's been months and I still regret not kissing you that night.


Anonymous
10:37:00 PM

Friends with benefits is never ever supposed to work, with anyone, ever.
But it's working for us.
Really well.
This is better than dating.


Anonymous
06:13:00 PM

SCHEDULES ARE ON SPAN!


anonymous
05:46:00 PM

I just lost my virginity to someone I told I was not a virgin.

Imagine his surprise.

I lost it knowingly, but unwillingly. I told him no, but I let him keep going.

It's not his fault I led him on.

Shit. Now I have to explain myself.

Please please please tell me this doesn't count. :[


Anonymous
11:56:00 PM

someone new... i like them. i think. maybe? maybe i just hate being single


Anonymous
08:04:00 PM

You're all I think about... you're in all my dreams... I can't get over you. I miss you, ex.


Anonymous
01:34:00 PM

Last night sucked. Im not going to smoke again for a long time. I don't like the loss of freedom.


Anonymous
07:44:00 PM

The only things I really miss when I leave town for two weeks are my cats and the internets.


Anonymous
11:06:00 PM

Thatonegirl needs to learn how to admin efficiently. Apparently she can't delete the initial posts after moving them to the main page. Get with the program, sister!


Anonymous
02:53:00 PM

i can't get up in the morning and i can't fall asleep at night.


Anonymous
10:50:00 PM

well fuck


Anonymous
09:48:00 PM

Why is it that I talk to everyone about my issues except the ones involved?


Anonymous
7/31/2007 12:24:00 AM

i hate going into situations where you've already pissed off everyone there. like school, for example.


Anonymous
7/30/2007 11:07:00 PM

I truly have some great friends, I realized that because I haven't seen them for a while and recently i saw them again. Soon I will leave for college , and I will not see them again , or at least for a while.


Anonymous
04:35:00 PM

I hope she got home okay....


Anonymous
02:13:00 PM

I hate you, God, why did you give me this big stupid fucking mouth? I've ruined everything now.


Anonymous
11:20:00 PM

Has anyone else realized that we have more admins than posts from nearly the last 2 weeks. Tangst has really died this summer. This message probably won't even go up for another 3 days or so.


Anonymous
7/27/2007 12:32:00 PM

You don't want to hang out with me? Fine, I don't care. Just DON'T keep going "I'm soo excited to see you! We'll do this! And this!" and then not invite me. Make up your fucking mind.


Anonymous
7/26/2007 12:24:00 AM

He makes my heart break, sometimes.


Anonymous
7/26/2007 12:06:00 AM

I just wish I had the right words to make everything okay again


Anonymous
7/25/2007 10:17:00 PM

when do schedules come out?


Anonymous
7/24/2007 03:36:00 PM

is nigger a bad word? equivalent to fuck and shit?

Because I say it all the time.


Anonymous
12:53:00 AM

The Prince's Tale > Sex


Anonymous
11:53:00 AM

Im scared of going to college.

Anonymous
10:39:00 PM

Its odd how people overestimate the extent to which events in there own microcosm reach. In other words people think things important to them and their crowd are more universally important and known than they really are. 


I don't know if my wording made much sense to anyone else, oh well.


Anonymous
10:39:00 PM

oh today's not the day to talk.
today's the day to act.

now let's act.


Anonymous
10:29:00 PM

death, the dark cloud. one no silver lining is apparent for, death. the hurting sigh. the aching greaf.
death, the dark cloud with a golden lining. 
tomorrow the sun will still rize.
good bye.


Anonymous
09:01:00 PM

I know hope is only going to hurt me more, but I can't help thinking this will all end in that asshole from MTV showing up saying "You got punk'd!" and me noticing all the cameras. How can I make it through these next couple weeks when I don't even know how I'll make it to tomorrow?

Anonymous
1:26 AM
7/18/2007

ALL RIGHT WHO THE FUCK IS SPOUTING THE MEMES.
RULES ONE AND FUCKING TWO.
TANGST DOES NOT DESERVE MEMES.

Caps Lock is cruise control for cool etc.

Just stop it guys, tangst doesn't understand. I mean, look at the Canada/bags post.


Anonymous
10:40:00 PM

I really want to just say "Fuck you your not my best friend any more" but then i realize that I'm not 8 years old granted an 8 year old would not say "fuck you".


Anonymous
11:28:00 PM

"Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry," said Hermione.

Harry Potter spoiler. I kid you not.


Anonymous
09:35:00 PM

Spock: Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, more colorful metaphors, "double dumb-ass on you" and so forth.
Kirk: Oh, you mean the profanity?
Spock: Yes.
Kirk: Well that's simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you unless you swear every other word.


Anonymous
10:58:00 PM

hello

my name is
ThatOneGirl

its nice to meet you

AP tangst, anyone?

Anonymous
05:12:00 PM

With my wand, I shall penetrate your mind.


Anonymous
10:57:00 PM

i feel completely sexually inadequate.


Anonymous
06:54:00 AM

Dear tangst,
I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry.


Anonymous
05:57:00 PM

One of my good friends seems to be trying to ditch me. Perhaps this is just my paranoia kicking in but it seems that they are ignoring all my attempts at contact. Perhaps they think they are too cool for me now, or maybe they just are lazy. I don't know.


Anonymous
11:31:00 PM

I've always been close with my mom. She's always shared her problems with me and I of course have confided in her too (even when I don't plan to). But now, with all this crap happening in my family, the time when we need each other the most, I can't be there for her. I've purposely detached myself in order not to get sucked in and completely stressed out. I'm scared of her problems. I'm scared of feeling what she's feeling. I don't really know what to do. I wish I could just run away and have it be better. But that wouldn't help her much, would it?


Anonymous
07:34:00 PM

Note:

If you sent in an admin application and have not gotten a response, please send it again. The address is my.tangst@gmail.com.

I'm the older sibling. My younger sib is constantly talking about how restricted they feel. I honestly want them to follow their own path and interests, but they insist that I subconsciously force them into doing what I want. I WANT THEM TO DO WHAT THEY WANT. MAKE YOUR OWN DECISION PLEASE STOP BLAMING ME. Yes I acknowledge that I am influencial as the older sib, but I am here actively encouraging you to find out what you love. And what you love is not necessarily what I love, and vice versa.


Anonymous
08:54:00 PM

I wish I could have Queen Rania's life.


Anonymous
08:42:00 PM

FUCK YOU, MOM.

You say that all Bennett and I talk about is quotes from websites and you don't see how we can't carry on that relationship over the phone? FUCK YOU. You say that it's not really communicating at all to talk to my boyfriend on IM and I'm silly to get upset over news from him that comes over the internet? FUCK YOU. You've trivialized my relationship with my brother, you've trivialized my relationship with my lover, FUCK YOU. You don't know shit about Bennett and me and you never will. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU!

In Canada, milk comes in bags.


Anonymous
04:31:00 PM

To add to the list of shit I seriously regret but will probably laugh about later:

So apparently last night, the final night of our cruise, I decided to get really fucking drunk with the cutest boy on the boat. I remember being super excited about it. I remember the rum. I remember chugging it just to impress him, and I remember it worked. I remember talking to him and being so entranced by him. I somewhat remember crying ALLLEXXXXXXX alleexxxxx aaaaaaaaaallex while on the floor as he walked away.

Wake up this morning in my bed, found out I passed out on the promenade deck sprawled face down on the floor, someone found me, security called my mom.

Hah. What a way to have my first blackout from alcohol, security in my face and a scared mother.

He LEFT me there.
I think I will add him on facebook.


Anonymous
04:28:00 PM

Agh!! I wish she would just have her period already so we can stop worrying about it. There's no way she's pregnant (no penetration, no direct genital contact), it's just sort of a mental thing.


Anonymous
06:45:00 AM

Do you ever feel like not wanting to go out with friends, and instead just relax (more like hang around doing nothing) at home? Or is something wrong with me.


Anonymous
02:01:00 AM

can one become an admin if living in the "thewallshaveeyes" zone of coverage?

and not in north carolina or where ever ya'all live
?

Anonymous
08:40:00 PM

when can we check ap scores online?


Anonymous
04:04:00 PM

He told me that he liked me, that he'd "fallen for me" but not in the cheesy cliche way, I could tell that he meant it because he almost never says anything that personal.
He is possibly the greatest guy in the world, but I don't know if I like him back.


Anonymous
08:35:00 AM

how do you define flirting?


Anonymous
10:11:00 PM

if no one is going to post that spanish or whatever post...just delete it, it's starting to be annoying


Anonymous
01:40:00 AM