ah tom sawyer you devilish fox you.
Anonymous
05:05:26 PM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
I've thought about you a great bit today (it was completely inevitable given my surroundings).
Around my ever-so-encouraging friends I pretend to find your existence irksome and painful- I pretend that you've become a burden for me to handle. I pretend to be angry at you and I pretend to want to scream at you for everything you've done to me (nothing- which is precisely why I'm perturbed). I even start believing it at times, but it's Not True. I could never be angry at you, I'm just...sad.
Sad that we never talk. Sad that we never see each other. Sad that everything kind of fell apart. Sad that I act distant. Sad that you've distanced yourself. Sad that you have no initiative and sad that I haven't said anything to you about it. The only way to take my mind off of this sadness is to act hateful because anger blinds.
I'm also sad that I'm too sheepish to say this to your face, so I have to post it on Tangst.
Anonymous
03:23:26 PM
Friday, June 02, 2006
I posted on here a few days ago because I was afraid I was beginning to come between my friend and her boyfriend. Well, he broke up with her yesterday (I knew I had a bad feeling about it). Im not sure I should do - I might be interested in him if I got hang out with him more, but my friends really upset about it so I definitely want to stay away for at least a while.
Anonymous
10:53:32 PM
After all the hugging and goodbyes I went through today, I miss being in a relationship more than ever. Just having that physical intimacy, that closeness, that security, is something I've found I hate living without.
I kind of want to weep from the lonely dispair I'm feeling, but that would make this even more pathetic than it already is.
How did I become so good at hiding what I actually feel? Why did I reinforce the walls of my heart so well? What's so wrong with me that I couldn't show him how much I love him? How come I can't let him see how miserable I am without him now?
Damn it. I am crying now.
Anonymous
10:29:33 PM
On at least 2 times today I've looked at people that I've know forever and been reminded of all those stories they make lifetime movies about involving "real teenagers" lives. My friend today was slapped on the ass about a thousand times in a row and didn't even give it a second thought. It was discussing. They grabbed her boobs and kept making jokes about how they wanted to fuck her. She was soaking it up. I can't see her as my friend today. I see her as a slut. A dirty trash receptical for sperm. Even though that's how everyone else sees her, I can't help but feel bad for thinking it. I should be mad at my guy friends for taking advantage of the fact that she has no self respect what so ever like I normaly would be but I'm not. I honestly wanted to throw up watching it. Later, I was listening to some kids talk after school on the ride home. The where making fun of this girl they all knew. The things they said were too terrible for me to repeat, even on tangst. How does a person bring them selves to say such horrible things about another human being without feeling ashamed? I really don't understand the world sometimes.
Anonymous
12:20:20 AM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)