I have an acute case of sleep paralysis. Not the kind when one wakes up and has a stiff neck for a moment. The kind where I wake up and feel (and see) someone sitting on me, I hear voices calling, laughing, and screaming at me from above or below, I see malicious shadows moving in the corners of my eyes, I see bodies of dead relatives sitting in the corner of my room, I see thieves or murderers standing ready to attack (and sometimes they talk to me or -do- attack me, but those times I pass out and wake up hours later). I can't move for what seems like hours (but is really two or three minutes). Sometimes I can't take it and pass out, sometimes I just drift off again, and sometimes I get my senses together and wait for everything to go away and for the faces to return to stuffed animals or books or clothes.

It's all from emotional trauma and family matters in the past-

-and it's going from bad to worse. My fears are now carried outside of my bedroom. Sometimes, in the hallways, I'll see the shadows behind me and feel that paranoia grip me. Every unfamiliar face turns into a malicious grimace. The noise of the hallways turns into that familiar roar of screaming and laughter. I think people are following me and trying to "get" me from behind. I've convinced myself that people stalk me and are watching me at every moment.

I just wanted to apologize to you for my acting strange and jumpy around you lately. I've noticed you noticing me, and I wanted to explain. I'm not crazy; I just have emotional and psychological problems.


Anonymous
11:52:49 PM