I give you cold, fake lies that it doesnt bother me or tell you off whenever you cut, but I do something just as dangerous when I hurt. I get in my car, turn the sterio all the way up, and push it straight to the fourth gear redline (120-130mph) down a two-lane highway nearby, and I usually do it late at night to avoid being stopped by cops. Sometimes I go down the dirt road as fast as I can so I can whip her around even if its only 3/4 a car length wide.
Anonymous
08:16:36 PM
8 comments:
dare I say it.........sounds like fun?
You probably need to stop doing this. Anytime you do something potentialy dangerous while "hurting" could end very badly. all you need to committ suicide is one slight jerk of the wheel, be it accidental or otherwise.
When you are high on negitive emotions, as you apperently are often, driving like this can only end badly.
It isn't all that different from cutting yourself, in that you are bringing yourself to a point very close to suicide but not yet over the edge. Eventually you will try to bring yourself closer and closer to the edge to relive your emotional problems, and end up just causing major emotional problems for a great number of other people (many more than you might think).
find something better to do to burn up the negitive feeligs. like post here, for example. play basketball. get a punching bag. something that doesn't risk your death, but instead improves you and your self esteem. this probably sounds corny to you, but it's much better than the alternitive, which you are well on your way twords.
my friend died driving that fast...
it's more dangerous than cutting.. don't tell people off if you're going to do something just as dangerous
Well, first of all:
sd, I believe that you have restated something the OP is saying. Driving fast isn't very different from cutting. Both are incredibly dangerous activites driven by negative feelings and emotion.
And second of all:
anonymous2, I believe that you have hit the tangst on the head. What the OP is confessing as much as driving fast is the way s/he tells off a friend for cutting and then does something very similar. But perhaps our first response shouldn't be censure and finger-wagging.
But I think we should think about the difference between this or cutting and actual suicide. Frequently, cutting and driving this fast isn't about dying. I've heard that cutting is attractive because of the thrill: you literally have your own life in your hands. It dulls emotional pain because you feel so alive doing it. It can also be a cry for help from others, or a way to put your emotional pain physically onto your body. I'm sure everyone that does cut has a different reason.
So, also, I think that the "one jerk of the steering wheel" is part of the risk, but it isn't the whole idea; driving that fast is to put yourself into a position where you, once again, have your life in your hands.
All that to say that the driving isn't as important as the reason for doing this, and any caution we could give this or boy would be less important than the compassion we could give him or her as to the underlying cause of the behavior.
And you assume that this is a boy...?
I was a cutter.. I did it for control.. not unlike what you are doing with the car.. I just hate it when people yelled at me for cutting and then went and did dangerous shit like that..
my friend wasn't driving fast because she wanted to die.. she wasn't even driving.. I respect that when you do this you do it late at night because this way at least you aren't putting more than yourself at risk.. Although still doing that isn't great.. I've started doing dangerous shit like this.. no speeding but no seatbelts and stuff and it's because cutting is denyed to me. I write when I hurt too.. I let the pen bleed its ink instead of me bleeding my blood... I never cut for the "thrill" as DA said.. I cut for control like I said before, and maybe this is why you pull dangerous stunts..
I'm sorry if I got upset and wagged my finger a little bit but I know how fucked up another person can be if someone dies in a car accident that didn't have to happen.. Its a destructive way of coping just like suicide/cutting is..
sorry if none of that made sense or sounded bitchy
Yeah, but see, cutting is gross, pure and simple. At least driving fast doesn't necessarily cause scarring
wastes gas though.
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