Ahhhh, even as I write these very words, TANGST IS DOWN.

I am crying, on the inside.

I will post something from a novel, that I could relate to:

"In a strange room you must empty yourself for sleep. And before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are emptied for sleep, you are not. And when you are filled with sleep, you never were. I don't know what I am. I don't know if I am or not. Jewel knows he is, because he does not know that he does now know whether he is or not. He cannot empty himself for sleep because he is not what he is and he is what he is not. Beyond the unlamped wall I can hear the rain shaping the wagon that is ours, the load that is ourno longer theirs that felled and sawed it nor yet theirs that bought it and which is not ours either, lie on our wagon though it does, since only the wind and the rain shape it only to Jewel and me, that are not asleep. And since sleep is is--not the rain and wind are was, it is not. Yet the wagon is because when the wagon is was, Addie Bundren will not be. Jewel is, so Addie Bundren must be. And then I must be, or I could not empty my self for sleep in a strange room. And so if I am not emptied yet, I am is.
How often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home."

-Darl Bundren, from William Falkners As I Lay Dying.