I hate my life. I even hate the plans I’m making to change my life. I hate how everyone hates me. I hate how I intentionally make them hate me. I hate where my life is going. I hate how I procrastinate. I hate everything about myself, and my environment. I feel empty, and unfulfilled. Even with the feelings, and hate for some reason… I wouldn’t have it any other way…. Is it crazy to love hardship, thrive on rejection , lust for pain?
Underneath my pain I feel happy, and it’s not a drug, or a pill doing it. I wonder why?
Anonymous
10:10:03 AM
2 comments:
I don't quite understand how that works, but...it happens to me sometimes too. Oh well.
I'd rather have all the pain in the world than not feel anything at all. Or would I? Sometimes I wonder if I would actually live up to everything I say I would be or do.
I hope that you stop hating yourself and your life, and that the happiness underneath comes out a little bit more.
I believe I know the feeling you mean. It's a sort of peace. It's almost like an acceptance but a very close opposite. It's as though you're no longer vulnerable to others. As if that's something you ought to take comfort in.
It is crazy, to answer your question. I do hope that you come back down eventually but I see no reason for rush.
Post a Comment