I feel a bit that way too.

My Sighs

Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I let myself be dragged in time and time again?
He has no idea what he does to me
Every time he speaks, every time he smiles
Every time he laughs, or even breathes.
How come when I think of him,
I can't help but smile?

Why does this happen to me?
Why do I get that fluttery feeling when I hear his name?
I'm the only one who knows
That I get thrown off kilter
Every single time.
How do I fix that,
Make it stop?

Why does he do the things he does?
Why do I fall for it every time?
I can never be mad at him.
He'll frustrate the hell out of me
But then he cracks a joke
And with a smile, the world is right again.
How do I end this cycle?

Why does this keep happening?
Why do I keep drawing these scenarios in my head?
I should just talk to him already.
Let him know his actions have consequences.
Let him know that he's driving me insane,
Slowly killing me, my soul.
How do I tell him that?

Why do I go on this way?
Why can't I end it, once and for all?
I need to, I've got to, and I must.
Before this thing becomes my doom,
Eating me alive until I disappear.
But my problem is the leaving, the absence.
How do I say goodbye?

Why do I let him continue on?
Why does the cycle repeat on for forever?
I thought this would be over by now.
It's lasted long enough, the relentless torment.
This self-torture, this self-pity, this self-loathing.
I should have walked away months ago.
But how can I do it alone?

I'm glad I let that out.


Anonymous
11:17:56 PM