You have two seperate houses. Two places you are expected to call home. Two sets of rules and responsabilities, two rooms to clean...
Every week packing a suitcase and living out of it. Keeping a closet in a bag and all your favortie toys get left behind. Dividing them up. Leaving it all behind.
Living two seperate lives. Two lies, in which you pretend like you were never the child of your parents, just so you don't have to remind your mother, your father of what a mistake it all was.
Imagine not being able to talk to one parent about the problems of another, not being able to ask permission to go out to buy birthday presents, mother's day, father's day. Not being able to mention the name of the other or love for the other without the yelling starting. The anger. The throwing things. Almost as bad as before they were divorced.
Your parents running around with weekly girlfriends or boyfriends like kids at school. Imagine parents being children. Imagine the holes punched in the wall and the tight money and the guilt.
Imagine parents fighting over who gets custody on holidays that should be times of togetherness.
Imagine being seven years old and watching your mother throw all the ornaments into the fire christmas morning because they reminded her of your father. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to her crying.
Image how scared you'd be.
You're seven years old.
I was seven years old.
Anonymous
10:25:35 PM
15 comments:
e-hug. all I have to give.
these tears are for you.
was this intended on the post below you or just another post?
divorce is bad but it could be worse.
I'm so sorry.
thats why when you get married, really get married and stay together forever. because thats what marriage is.
and if you dont love each other, stay married for the sake of your children.
they say they are ok. but they really are not.
OP, learn from your parents's mistake. be mad at them for being selfish and only thinking about themselves. and not about the damage they did to you.
and when you get married and have children. dont get divorced.
anon4.... this is not so good. Calling out for the OP to be vindictive towards his parents is an unfair burden. OP, you are allowed to love, hate, or feel indifferent towards your parents; however, they will always be your parents.
Does it sound like they were always there for you? Perhaps not, but one must remember they are people too, with their own needs. And sometimes divorce is one of them.
Look down upon it if you must, but try to understand at some level. Regardless of how they act towards each other, your parents will love you. And if they don't show it, then that is tragedy.
But we cannot dwell on what is terrible. If we spend less time brooding, and more time doing... our lives will be all the richer.
words cannot express my remorse...
I still thinks divorce is somewhat selfish.
Anon. 4...My parents are divorced and I would rather have them be divorced than stay together for my sake. I say I am okay...and I am. If I have trauma it's about other things. Not because my parents don't live and pretend to be in love with each other anymore. Are you qualified to give the opinion that when I say I am okay I am really not?
yeah, anon4 I have a bone to pick with you too. People change, and sometimes you change so that you don't love someone anymore. Divorce does hurt, but I would much rather my parents be apart and happy and than together and living a lie. I wish things hadn't happened the way they did, but I want them to be happy more than anything else. I wouldn't have been happy either if they'd stayed together.
Every word is true op, I know. Every fucking word.
After a while though (from the perspective of leaving my home(s) in the near future) you can see what a positive thing divorce finally is. Things are just so much more awful with the screaming and the arguments, for all those kids whose parents are staying together even when everyone is suffering, than it is in our cases.
oh grow up, I was two. And I doubt YOU were sexually abused as a baby by your own father.
^No one remembers crap before they're two and you know it. It's much worse when you're actually conscious during the awful transition phase. All you've known is divorce and that's a blessing.
Uh... the two posters above me... you guys grow up. If the anon was sexually abused... that is completely terrible and perverse.
But where the fuck do you guys get off, measuring other people's pain?
You're playing a "My dog is bigger than your dog" with emotions, when in truth, there is no scale of suffering. There is no measurement. Things are not cut and dry because this is life.
Nothing to be proud of. Don't use your own life experiences as a club on others.
amen graffity.
Post a Comment