Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I just got my fucking report card
w/ my c in spanish im like dude your a retard
I dont want to show my parents b/c i will get grilled and charred
why the hell does this elective have to be so hard

My teacher makes me so freaking angry
no matter how much i use my creativity
I even try to the best of my ability
I cant help she treats me w/ such atrocity

poems are hard im much better at rapping freestyle
W/ poems you need to sit and ponder a while
I am just a white boy who likes to make people smile
so excuse me if this sux and sounds a bit juvinile

I appriciate the time you give to critique
I thank you for pointing out whats strong and whats weak
even though my poems lack in good technique
I am just trying to expand my horizons and be unique


Anonymous
09:24:29 PM

6 comments:

Maverick said...

Interestingly enough, I heard this in my head w/ a rap beat before you mentioned it. It works pretty well...for a wanksta.

In the last stanza I would suggest changing "even though my poems lack in good technique" to "even though my poems are lacking good technique", I do not think that this reflects the work well, because from my point of view it is a good freestyle but this way it should read better.


"Word"

TintedFragipan said...

Yes. Very yes. I liked this.

Anonymous said...

me too :D your peotry isn t that bad at all, i enjoyed it

Anonymous said...

lol
:D

not bad...

Anonymous said...

it made me laugh =)

Anonymous said...

This is just to say

This is not good poetry.

Please spellcheck.